Dr. Rob and Tami talk about a common mistake sex addicts often do not consider and that’s the recovery of your betrayed spouse. You might be in recovery and doing all the work, but your spouse is going to feel the ripple effects of your addiction long after D-day. Showering your partner with gifts and affection is not what’s going to cut it, and it takes much more to build the trust back up in the relationship. In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami share how you can work on your recovery and be a better person to your betrayed spouse.   TAKEAWAYS: [:50] My husband is on week four of Out of the Doghouse, what changes should I expect? [4:55] You need to understand your own self, and why you have a sex addiction before you can seek forgiveness from your spouse. [6:50] When you’ve destroyed the trust in a relationship, it’s not going to come back overnight with a bunch of flowers. [7:11] Three months of sobriety means nothing when you’ve hurt your wife for the last 20 years of marriage. [8:00] My husband sees a CSAT weekly but he’s dragging on everything else. Should we just separate? [12:55] What is a sex addict really seeking? Is it validation? My husband had everything, I just don’t understand it. [16:30] A lot of men say they love their spouses but addicts don’t truly know what it means to love somebody. [19:25] What do true remorse and guilt look like? [22:05] My SA husband got sexually aroused from seeing a young girl at our home in a bikini. Is he a pedophile? [24:40] As an SA,  I’m having reservations about sharing certain things with my partner. How can I get over this?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss