In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami talk about focusing on your internal recovery first before seeking to make peace with your spouses. It’s important to face your truth,  build on your recovery journey, and build emotional resilience to manage the day-to-day things that happen in life.   TAKEAWAYS: [0:20] My SA husband confessed he felt aroused when he saw our nine-year old granddaughter wearing a bathing suit. Does that mean he is attracted to children? Or is it triggered from adult pornography he has viewed? [1:45] Tami shares her discomfort with polygraphs. [3:25] Dr. Rob adds that people who admit to something like that often have something more they have not yet said.  [7:55] What is a restitution letter? [9:30] Restitution is not only lip service, but there also needs to be a recovery plan. Tami explains further. [11:05] My husband is having trouble finding a twelve-step group that works with his work schedule and it isn’t so religiously based. [11:45] Spirituality and religion mean different things for different people. Dr. Rob explains the twelve-step program. [16:10] Dr. Rob shares that internal recovery is important to achieve first before making peace with your spouse.  [17:15] Should all slips be discussed with the wife, the therapist, and the sponsor? [18:05] Dr. Rob shares to value honesty despite dealing with being cheated.  [20:10] Can you please explain reenactment? To be specific, why would an addict act out 99% with the same sex?  [22:20] A duck that walks like a duck must be a duck. Dr. Rob shares what he said to a couple he once counseled.  [27:03] How do you build psychological resilience? Is the lack of it the cause of addiction? [28:00] Dr. Rob explains what is a lack of psychological resilience that can lead to addiction.    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating Book by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating Book by Robert Weiss Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss