In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions around betrayal trauma and how to help your betrayed partner find safety. They invite you to read Dr. Rob’s books, listen to podcasts, join support groups and workshops to not only work on your recovery but find the right support group as well!   TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] It has been 10 months since I disclosed to my wife my use of porn and lies. She has tried to work things out with me but has been asking for a divorce back and forth. How do I know if this is my wife in betrayal trauma?  [2:15] Dr. Rob shares that he hears from spouses who ask for a divorce that they see a lack of empathy from their partners for what they’re going through.  [3:05] With Dr. Rob’s book, Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught, men can get a clue on how to make up for the pain of betrayal to a woman. [8:30] Tami shares about the Sex Addiction 101 Workgroup starting this Saturday and the last opportunity for the year for the Couples Healing From Betrayal Workshop!  [10:00] I’m male, gay, 51, married and a sex addict. I’ve been unemployed since April 2020 and want to go back to work but my husband says I was acting out while I was working. Should I make going back to work a personal boundary? [10:50] Dr. Rob explains on how not to keep doing things that put our partners in pain.  [13:25] Tami also shares that looking for a different workplace and being engaged in recovery can help make your partner feel safe.  [15:40] My husband revealed that he had acted out with my best friend of 40 years many years ago. I have decided to end the friendship as I no longer see her the same way. He offered to make the call for me to end the friendship and part of me wants to take the offer so he feels the consequence of his actions. What are your thoughts? [17:10] Dr. Rob shares the importance of having professional support and people behind you when making these decisions. [23:00] My SA/LA husband left for treatment three weeks ago at the Gratitude Program in Mississippi for eight weeks. I’m trying to focus on my recovery while also working a full time job and taking care of our four month old son. It seems as though he is making progress but I am still fearful that he will come home and nothing will change. Any recommendations on how to stay positive? [24:35] Before recommending anyone going to a program, extensive research must first be done. Dr. Rob shares more of his insights on this. [28:10] Tami adds that worrying about what happens after eight weeks is not going to help you with your stress level so your primary focus should only be your self care and your baby. [32:05] How do you deal with constant sexual fantasies on a daily basis? Is there a way to turn your thinking around? [33:55] Dr. Rob advises to focus on other people and get support. Stop trying to get your thinking around and instead think about what you can do that makes you feel good about yourself.   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating Book by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating Book by Robert Weiss Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss