Dr. Rob and Tami understand that it can be incredibly frustrating for a betrayed partner to deal with an addict’s head trash and lies and deceit. But why do they bring you into their mess in the first place? Why can’t they just be alone and not hurt people with it? Dr. Rob understands it can be very hard to see through the eyes of an addict, but there is so much more below the surface. At the end of the day, these people are deeply hurt and broken people who are struggling and have no tools to help themselves out of it.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] My wife wants a detailed account of my last relapse from two years ago. I genuinely can’t remember what porn I watched. How can I reassure her? [4:10] Spouses want to know everything. It’s an impossible request. [8:45] I can’t believe she was with someone else. How can I heal from this? [13:00] If you’re been betrayed, it can be easy to think there’s something wrong with you. [13:50] Why does the addict bring you into their mess in the first place? Why can’t they just leave me or another potential partner alone? [16:40] Recovery heals people. Recovery shows people the way forward. [21:15] My spouse is stuck with me. I’m an addict. Is there hope for me? [31:25] We are human, we are always going to mess up. How we own it is how we make progress. [33:10] Are addicts also abusers and are more likely to rape others?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss