Big Jokes

By John Howart

This is collection of laugh-out-loud jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life-drawn.
Welcome to the wonderful world of jokes, a way life as old as time itself. Historians have traced jokes back as far as 1900 B.C in ancient Sumer.

Luckily for you, we ́re here to pull together a broad range of funny stuff so you have an arsenal of jokes at your disposal.

So pull up a chair and start learning some oneliners, quips, cracks, ribs, and yarns. Now ́s the time to get serious about joking -no funny bussiness.

For your entertainment we have collected +1000 jokes from our artillery, including fun illustrations.

Have fun, laughter therapy is the best to make the day more bearable.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Howart
• Release date: Jul 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005540616

John Howart

Writer, surfer, Ironman.Father and husband.

Book preview

BIG JOKES

John Howart

Copyright

Big Jokes by John Howart.

All rights reserved. 

United States of America.

2020

Preface 

This is collection of laugh-out-loud jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life-drawn. 

Welcome to the wonderful world of jokes, a way life as old as time itself. Historians have traced jokes back as far as 1900 B.C in ancient Sumer.

Luckily for you, we´re here to pull together a broad range of funny stuff so you have an arsenal of jokes at your disposal.

So pull up a chair and start learning some oneliners, quips, cracks, ribs, and yarns. Now´s the time to get serious about joking -no funny bussiness.

For your entertainment we have collected +1000 jokes from our artillery, including fun illustrations.

Have fun, laughter therapy is the best to make the day more bearable.

Horse

Jack strode into ‘John´s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. Listen here said John, I´ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn´t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God.

Jim nodded his head, fine with me, can I take him for a test run?

Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead stop! screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. yoyo screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered heyhey! Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff.

Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raised his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction Thank God.

Boy and girl

Before Marriage:

Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: No don´t even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of course. Always have and always will.

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get.

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy?

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

Dr. Who jokes

Doctor Who was still hungry after dinner...

So he went back four seconds!

____________________

What is Doctor Who´s favourite snack?

Pop-Tardis!

___________________

What do you call a Dr. Seuss character with a medical degree?

Doctor Who!

___________________

Why did the Dalek apply for a job in pest control?

He liked the job description, Exterminate! Exterminate!

___________________

What does a Sontaran take on holiday?

Sun-taran lotion!

___________________

What do you call a time-traveling cow?

Dr. Moo!

Short jokes

A man finishes pumping gas and goes into the store to pay. A sign on the pumps says, Please tell cashier the pump number to pay. The man walks up to the counter and says to the clerk, Number 2. The clerk hands the man a set of keys, motions to a hallway next to the counter, and says, The second door on the left.

 _____________________

 What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Multilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks one language? An American.

______________________

 How do you make antifreeze? Steal hear blankets

______________________

Ain´t it funny how the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until