chuckles

SMART MOVE

After a night of heavy partying, four students decide to bunk the first of a two-part lecture.

When they arrive for the second session, they tell the lecturer their lateness is because their car had a flat tyre.

“Okay,” the lecturer says. “There’s a quick test you boys can do to make up. Have a seat and take out a piece of paper.

“First question . . . which tyre was flat?”

TWO VIEWS

Pessimist: Oh, this can’t get any worse! Optimist: Yes, it can!

DATING SCENE

■ Man: Can I buy you a drink? Woman: I think I’d rather have the money!

■ Man: Would you like to go