FOR years in her practice she saw client after client who came to her feeling frustrated, depressed, confused and sad.
As a clinical psychologist, Dr Ramani Durvasula had been taught to help people identify their own patterns and behaviours and learn useful coping strategies.
But she was struck by the similarities in many of her client’s stories, even though they were very different people with very different stories.
“All of them felt they were to blame for their situations – they doubted themselves, ruminated, felt ashamed, were psychologically isolated, confused and helpless,” she says.
She saw another significant similarity – the behaviours exhibited by difficult people in her clients’ lives.
“Regardless of whether it was a spouse, partner, parent, other family member, adult child, friend, colleague, boss – my clients consistently shared stories of being invalidated or shamed for having a need or for expressing or being themselves,” she says.
What underpinned it all was narcissistic behaviour, and understanding this personality style – and how to help those affected by it – became her passion.
She’s written three books on
