Girl-Ships...Navigating Real Friendships Girl's Study

By Nancy Butkowski

Have you ever struggled with being a real friend? Wondered how to choose your friends wisely? How to be a leader rather than a follower? Have you ever faced the challenge of making wise choices against the strong waves of peer pressure? Wondered how you could challenge your friends to do the right thing without being teased or bullied? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this study, Girl-ships... Navigating Real Friendships, is for you.
Get ready to board, this study is about to launch you into an ocean of discovery. Just as a ship moves port to port, you are moving from childhood to adulthood. You have many types of friends, but your girl-ships are with whom you share the most. As you sail through these years, you cannot imagine doing it without their listening ear, understanding, advice, or their ability to make you laugh. You find comfort in having friends close to your age, going through the same changes that you are going through, friends who support you through making wise choices, getting good grades, finding a boyfriend, and so much more.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nancy Butkowski
• Release date: Dec 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215406960

Nancy Butkowski

Nancy and her husband, Dan, have served as missionaries with CRU since 1974. Together they raised 5 daughters who are now married with families of their home (14 grandchildren). She home schooled for 14 years during which time her focus was to help her daughters develop Godly character and ground them foundationally according to Biblical truths. When they got older, the children attended public school.For 14 years, Nancy gave leadership to the Student Venture Club at the schools her daughters attended, helping them and many of their friends grow in their relationship with Christ. As a result of those years of ministering together, she and her daughters developed content for mothers and daughters called Live In Style which they used in putting on live events in many cities. That content is the basis of the books she is developing into a Mother-Daughter series, to assist mothers in having conversations with their daughters concerning many of the issues her daughters and their friends struggled with.Working closely with teenagers, Nancy has come to understand that much of life catches them by surprise, especially as they enter the teen years. She desires to be proactive in introducing pre-teens/teenagers to some of the real issues they are about to face, and help them understand the importance of making godly choices as it relates to shaping their future.

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Copyright © 2023, Nancy Butkowski

All rights reserved

Self-Published

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise – without prior written permission from the author/publisher.

Copyright owners:

Nancy Butkowski

Nicole Butkowski Kinzler

Janaye Butkowski Russ

Alyssa Butkowski Vawser

Sheryce Butkowski Parker

Printed in the United States of America

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. lockman.org

Portions of this manuscript were adapted by permission from Passport to Virtue, an unpublished manuscript by Family Life Publishers, Little Rock, AR. Copyright © 2013 by Nancy Butkowski. All rights reserved.

Senior Editor: Mary Lyon

About the Author

Nancy with her husband, Dan, have served as missionaries with CRU (an international Christian missionary organization) since 1974. God blessed them with five daughters who have given them 14 grandchildren.

Nancy home-schooled for 14 years to focus on developing Godly character in her daughters and ground them foundationally according to Biblical truths. When they got older, they attended public school. To continue the Godly input in their lives, Nancy provided leadership to the Student Venture Club (Cru ministry) at the schools her daughters attended. She helped them and their friends grow in their relationship with Christ.

As a result of those years of ministering together, she and her daughters developed content for mothers and daughters titled, My Style Profile…Being the Me I was Created to Be. This is a Bible Study series covering nine topics such as how one dresses, chooses entertainment, and how to deal with conflict. The book series is designed to assist mothers in having conversations with their daughters around issues they are facing from a spiritual perspective. The series is available at Smashwords.com.

Working closely with teenagers, Nancy understands that much of life catches them by surprise, especially as they enter the teen years. She desires to be proactive in introducing pre-teens/teenagers to some of the real issues they are about to face, and help them understand the importance of making godly choices as it relates to relationships in their lives.

Book Details

If I Were You, Would I Befriend Me...Being a Real Friend (Chapter 1)

If I Were You, Would I Trust Me…Being a Trustworthy Friend (Chapter 2)

If I Were You, Would I Choose Me…Being a Wise Choice (Chapter 3)

If I Were You, Would I Follow Me…Being a Leader (Chapter 4)

If I Were You, Would I Listen to Me…Being Word Wise (Chapter 5)

If I Were You, Would I Forgive Me…Being a Peace Seeker (Chapter 6)

If I Were You, Would I Include Me…Being a Kind Friend (Chapter 7)

Introduction

Have you ever struggled with being a real friend? Wondered how to choose your friends wisely? How to be a leader rather than a follower? Have you ever faced the challenge of making wise choices against the strong waves of peer pressure? Wondered how you could challenge your friends to do the right thing without being teased or bullied? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this study, Girl-ships…Navigating Real Friendships, is for you.

Get ready to board, this study is about to launch you into an ocean of discovery. Just as a ship moves port to port, you are moving from childhood to adulthood. You have many types of friends, but your girl-ships are your closest. As you sail through these years, you cannot imagine doing it without their listening ear, understanding, advice, or their ability to make you laugh. You find comfort in having friends close to your age, going through the same changes that you are going through, friends who support you through making wise choices, getting good grades, finding a boyfriend, and so much more.

As you have experienced, friendships do come and go. You have felt the pain of a friendship breakup or perhaps just the drifting apart. However, there are also those sweet girl-ships that continue through the years.

Each chapter has a story of girls just like you who share about the blessings and challenges they faced in their girl-ships. There are activities, self-evaluations, a Bible study, and practical application guidance. You will discover how to be a real friend, how to choose your friends wisely, as you cultivate a growing relationship with the Lord. You will discover how making wise choices can help you and your friends in positive ways, and how unwise choices will hurt you and them.

The wind is strong; there are many waves in life to rock your girl-ships. God, the captain of your ship, will help you navigate building solid girl-ships. This happens as you learn Biblical values that will grow your character and help you to become a REAL FRIEND!

Please Read this Before You Begin!

God has a message for you in Jeremiah 29:12-13 that says, ...you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. He is interested in having a close personal relationship with you. The awesome promises in His Word (the Bible) apply to those who love Jesus and know Him as Savior and Lord. If you do not yet know Him as your Savior and Lord, now may be the time to begin that relationship (see Appendix 1).

Perhaps you do know Christ, but have neglected your relationship with Him. Appendix 2 shares the role of the Holy Spirit in a Christian’s life. Now is a great time to turn your heart toward Him as never before and to share your faith with people who may not know Him as Savior and Lord. Chapter Seven provides a way for you to share the good news of the gospel with a friend who does not know God (Appendix 1 can also be used). With Mom’s permission, you may even want to invite a friend or two to join you in this study. Remember to keep your friends, especially non- Christian friends, in your prayers. Ask God that they too would come to know Him – His love, His power, His provision, and His guidance.

Now, it is time to get started! We hope you, like thousands of other girls, will learn girl-ship skills and values on this journey that will build character into your friendships and equip you to make a difference in your world for years to come!

Get ready for an unforgettable voyage that can change your girl-ships, as you learn what it truly means to be a real friend!

Chapter One

Girl-ships… it is sometimes hard to live with them, it is definitely hard to live without them. They can be catty, manipulative, and oh so emotional. They can live in drama-land and tend to smother you, wanting you all to themselves; still others can be so wishy-washy you never really know where they are coming from. It can all be so exhausting! But on the flip-side, girl-ships can be loads of fun! They can be friends with whom you shop, share all your secrets, laugh, cry and celebrate all of life’s special moments.

Within your circle of friends, you will have real friends and fake friends. Real friends give to and receive from each other. They offer each other support, honesty, understanding, and more. They build committed girl-ships (close friendships) that are glued together with love and loyalty. Fake friends only exist as long as the other friend has something to offer. They are looking out for themselves and wondering, What is in it for me? The foundational character quality of a fake friend is selfishness. A question to keep in mind as you make your way through this session is, Am I a real friend or a fake friend? In other words, If I were you, would I befriend me?

God wants you to have real friends in your life. Some will