The Misgivings of Friend-Making

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In the post-social-distancing era, some of us can’t remember how to make a new friend. But for many, making friends has always been a challenge—left as an unfulfilled desire without any clear course of action.

In this episode of How to Start Over, we explore the barriers to friendship formation in adulthood, how to navigate conflict, and why starting over as a better friend begins with getting out of our own heads.

This episode was produced by Rebecca Rashid and is hosted by Olga Khazan. Editing by A.C. Valdez and Claudine Ebeid. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado. Engineering by Matthew Simonson.

Be part of How to Start Over. Write to us at howtopodcast@theatlantic.com. To support this podcast, and get unlimited access to all of The Atlantic’s journalism, become a subscriber.

Music by FLYIN (“Being Nostalgic”), Monte Carlo (“Ballpoint”), Mindme (“Anxiety [Instrumental Version]”), Timothy Infinite (“Rapid Years”), and Sarah, the Illstrumentalist (“Building Character”).

Click here to listen to more full-length episodes in The Atlantic’s How To series.

Olga Khazan: Hi, I’m Olga Khazan, staff writer at The Atlantic.

Rebecca Rashid: And I’m Rebecca Rashid, a producer at The Atlantic.

Khazan: This is How to Start Over. Today, we analyze a relationship that many of us need more of but struggle to keep around: friendship.

Khazan: Being an introvert, I feel like I never really want to go out, and I never really want to meet new people, and I never really want to talk to people. But once I do, I’m like, That felt really good. I should do that more often.

Rashid: What’s going through your mind before you have to meet up for a social engagement?

Khazan: I’m probably not going to like these people. They’re probably not going to like me. We’re not going to have anything to talk about. I don’t really have anything to say. I’m so boring. Why