Authentic Soulmates: Tips on the Journey to Intimacy

By Tammy Summers

Relationships of the soul are not just born. They need to be developed. In this amazing book, you will discover a year's worth of practical tips, inspirational quotes, and Reflection/Discussion Moments that can transform any relationship!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tammy Summers
• Release date: Mar 16, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310730146

Book preview

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This book would not have become a reality without the practical assistance and support of so many people. Thanks first to April Koontz for the long hours of editing, typing, and retyping of this manuscript! Thanks for your kindness, patience, insight, and artistic flare that is clearly represented within these pages. Thanks also for adding your special touch in the creation of this beautiful book cover! Your creative genius amazes and inspires me! This book never would have been completed without your consistent encouragement, love and support!

Thanks also to Carey Hill for your tireless editing and for listening to me complain, doubt and re-write this book for four years! Thanks especially for your faithful, supportive, and consistent friendship for so many years. You truly are the sister I never had!

I am incredibly grateful for the many eyes that have perused this book offering priceless feedback. It was your insight and constructive criticism that eventually enabled me to finally complete this project! Thanks to Nancy Koontz, Michelle Blow, Kellan Moore-Chapin, Judy Bright, Cindy Sellers, Ruth Steidenger, Lydia Rentz, Helen Rentz, Lala Rentz, Tom Holohan, Leslie Goodwin, Jill Lewis, Lynnie Smith, Pamela Blizzard, Tami Link and the many others who invested their time and energy in making this dream become a reality. Thanks finally to Cammie Hunter whose request for a special wedding gift eventually breathed life into this book.

My heart is grateful to all of you for your friendship, love and endless support. Blessings to you all!

INTRODUCTION

Katie and Chase* came into my office in one final, desperate attempt to save their marriage. The words began spewing out of their mouths in the all too familiar, almost scripted, statements of many troubled couples seeking help. We’re not in love anymore; the passion is not there, said Chase. We have become roommates instead of lovers.

We just don’t know each other anymore, Katie screamed through tears. Chase is always working and when he is home his mind is still at the office. He doesn’t seem interested in my life and his main interest is sex. I’m exhausted with three children, trying to run a household and sex is the last thing on my mind! I thought we were soulmates, but now we are lost.

Katie and Chase both feared they were heading for disaster ... and they were right.

*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.

• • •

Unfortunately couples around the country are moving in and out of marriage at alarming rates. So many people are on a quest to find the perfect relationship that they forget that the honeymoon stage ends in ALL relationships. Contrary to popular belief, moving on to the next partnership is not in itself going to deliver happiness. People continue to search for that magical, illusive perfect person out there instead of striving to become the right person.

The belief seems to be that if the right person is found and the chemistry is electrifying, then happiness will follow without the hard work that solid relationships inevitably require. Relationships of the soul or soulmates are not just born, they need to be developed. That’s not to say that there aren’t some people who naturally have a kindred spirit with special chemistry. Certainly developing a successful relationship may come easier as a result of that connection. However, soulful, intimate relationships can be nurtured if two people are willing to commit to the work it takes to grow. As distant and unattainable as the notion of a soulmate may seem, there are some practical strategies that may lead one further down the road to deeper intimacy than many have experienced. The tips in this book are designed to assist in doing just that.

The origin of this book was ignited by a simple request from a dear friend. She was engaged to be married, and asked me for a special wedding gift. She wanted me to compile all of the wisdom I had gleaned regarding successful marriages. Having waited until her thirties to marry, she wanted to make sure she got it right. As a therapist, she knew I had helped many struggling couples and she wanted to know the common threads I had observed in the relationships that seemed the most happy, healthy and successful. I eagerly agreed to her request and decided to list themes I discovered in my work with couples. I then condensed the themes into tidbits that eventually became the heart of the pages that follow.

The information provided here is not designed to be a summary of systematic research. It is not a trendy formula or a new program promising to unlock the secret to an abundant and blissful life with your partner. It is, however, based on the real experiences of the many clients I have had the pleasure to know and serve in my 20 years as a therapist. The information and situations have not only been collected from numerous clients but also from family members, friends, colleagues, pastors and fellow therapists. The lessons and the wisdom shared here have often been learned the hard way, reminding us that failure is often our best teacher.

Obviously, there are no simple formulas for getting it right. There are no guarantees in life, love or relationships. The current divorce rate in the United States echoes this truth. Included are some simple guidelines and suggestions that have provided direction for many couples whose heart’s desire was to do it right, whatever that might mean for them. Obviously, putting these pieces of wisdom into practice will not guarantee a successful relationship 100% of the time! Perhaps you and your partner will come up with additional ideas that work for you (and if you do, please send me your discoveries). The important thing is that both of you actively pay attention to maintaining and deepening your relationship. This book is designed to assist you in doing just that. It is simple and practical, with suggestions, quotes, and reflection/discussion questions at the end of each entry. There are 52 suggestions making it easy to take a full year to work weekly on the ideas presented. My desire is to create opportunities for you to develop an action plan for strengthening your relationship, at whatever stage you begin. I also hope you will be encouraged, challenged, and inspired on your path to become the soulmate you were intended to be. Consider these ideas with an open heart and enjoy!

Becoming Soulmates

Much has been written in the past