Style Five Kind Girl or Mean Girl...What Is Your Friendship Style Daughter's Study

By Nancy Butkowski

In this style, through a 4 week study, you will be looking at your friendship style and how you treats others in your life, especially those who are not your friends. You will consider kind girls versus mean girls in how they treat others and how you can choose to respond to a mean girl in your life.

There will be discussion of how God can use mean girls in your life (like any other trial or challenge) to purify your faith, teach you patience, develop perseverance in your life, and help you to grow. As you learn to respond to mean girls the way God calls you to respond (quietly, patiently, lovingly, and with compassion and humility), you will grow closer to becoming the person He desires you to be, and have the opportunity to influence others in a positive way.

Week 1 will help you understand that mean girls are in every school. You will learn that one of the mean girls’ desires to be mean lies in getting an expected reaction from you...the target of their meanness. And when they get the reaction they are seeking, it gives them permission to continue targeting you. However, when you refuse to respond in the way the mean girl is expecting, you take away her ability to victimize you. God has great purpose in allowing mean girls into your life.

Week 2 you will discover some of the reasons why girls choose to be mean. Sometimes, they feel they have permission to mistreat people who are unattractive, annoying, have bad manners, bad habits, or are different. Alyssa, one of the author’s, will share her story of how she became one of the mean girls and what she learned in changing her behaviors. You will complete a self-evaluation survey to help you determine if you are more of a kind girl or mean girl. You will learn what mean girl behaviors to avoid.

Week 3 you will learn more about your own friendship style. You will rate yourself to see how kind you are and where you need to grow with God’s help. You will also learn that when you encounter a mean girl you may have no idea the history behind her meanness or why she has chosen you to be her victim. There are critical pieces to the puzzle that are missing making it impossible for you to judge the mean girl’s actions correctly. That is why it is so important for you to shift from focusing on the mean girl’s “meanness” to focusing on your response to the meanness. You cannot control another’s actions, but with God’s help you can control your own.

Week 4 suggests a date for mother and daughter to celebrate your relationship, share what you learned and pray for one another. An action point to apply what was learned is identified.

This is the fifth style of nine styles that will help you grow into the woman God designed you to be. Each style looks at a different area of your life, such as beauty, fashion, and friendships. You will learn life skills and values through studying these styles that will build character into your life and equip you to make a difference in your world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nancy Butkowski
• Release date: Aug 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005721381

Nancy Butkowski

Nancy and her husband, Dan, have served as missionaries with CRU since 1974. Together they raised 5 daughters who are now married with families of their home (14 grandchildren). She home schooled for 14 years during which time her focus was to help her daughters develop Godly character and ground them foundationally according to Biblical truths. When they got older, the children attended public school.For 14 years, Nancy gave leadership to the Student Venture Club at the schools her daughters attended, helping them and many of their friends grow in their relationship with Christ. As a result of those years of ministering together, she and her daughters developed content for mothers and daughters called Live In Style which they used in putting on live events in many cities. That content is the basis of the books she is developing into a Mother-Daughter series, to assist mothers in having conversations with their daughters concerning many of the issues her daughters and their friends struggled with.Working closely with teenagers, Nancy has come to understand that much of life catches them by surprise, especially as they enter the teen years. She desires to be proactive in introducing pre-teens/teenagers to some of the real issues they are about to face, and help them understand the importance of making godly choices as it relates to shaping their future.

Book preview

Copyright © 2012, Nancy Butkowski

All rights reserved

Self-Published

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise – without prior written permission from the author/publisher

Copyright Owners:

Nancy Butkowski

Nicole Butkowski Kinzler

Janaye Butkowski Russ

Alyssa Butkowski Vawser

Sheryce Butkowski Parker

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved.

Scripture references are taken from the New American Standard Bible®. Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by the The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Portions of this manuscript were adapted by permission from Passport to Virtue, an unpublished manuscript by Family Life Publishers, Little Rock, AR. Copyright © 2013 by Nancy Butkowski. All rights reserved.

Cover Design: Jerry McCall

Senior Editor: Mary Lyon

Junior Editor: Ellie Kinzler

Rev. date: 2022

Table of Contents

Authors’ Bios

Getting Started

Style Five – Kind or Mean

High or Low

Week 1 – Style Watch

High or Low

Week 2 – My Story

High or Low

Week 3 – Snapshots of Truth

High or Low

Week 4 – Sweet Connections

Appendix 1: Gospel Presentation

Appendix 2: Brief Bible Study on the Holy Spirit

Author Bios

Getting Started

Have you ever struggled with your self-image? Wanting to fit in with the crowd? Knowing how to relate to boys? Ever faced the challenge of making right choices against the strong waves of peer pressure? Wondered how you could challenge your friends to do the right thing without being teased or bullied?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, this series of studies is for you! My Style Profile…being the me I was created to be is no ordinary study. It is a unique and exciting journey through the Bible, seeking God’s opinion about what it really means for you to live in style.

My Style Profile…being the me I was created to be is designed for you and your mom to work through together. This series consists of nine individual studies and is filled with stories of other girls just like you who share about the daily challenges they faced. There are activities, quizzes, projects, and much more. You will learn how to strengthen your self-image, manage your emotions, and communicate better with family and friends. You will discover how making wise choices can help you influence others in a