In today's episode we consider how you know whether you are dating the right kind of partner for you. Dating can be a very challenging. You might have dated for quite some time already, met a number of people or are still waiting for the 'the one'. We consider how you might want to go about dating and what signs to look out for that tell you that you have met someone who you can potentially build a relationship with. We ask you to consider your current strategies and whether you regard them as successful. If they are not successful, what do you think needs changing in your approach?Choosing the right partner can be challenging. Are you always aware of the kind of qualities that you are looking for in a partner? Love and care are expressed in many different way; it's helpful to know what qualities you need in a partner that make you feel looked after and loved.Many people hold the strong belief, fed by Hollywood romances, that there is one right person out there for them. If they meet this person, they will be happy. The challenge with this concept is that it turns dating into a needle of haystack kind of experience. You will need to endlessly sift through hundreds of people until you meet the person destined for you. The truth is that there are many people who are right for you. It helps to be open to the possibility that the person in front of you may be the right person. You will need to decide to frame your encounters as such and you will need to work at creating the relationship that you want. You can grow to become each other's soulmates. You choose who you want to be 'the one'.There does need to be some form of attraction, however, it helps not to make the idea of immediate fireworks your main criterion. Get to know the other person first to get some sense of who you have in front of you. This may ignite a spark at a later stage too.In the world of online dating you have endless choices which may get too overwhelming. Focus on dating 5-7 people and get to know them better. Getting too fixated on just one person limits your options; conversely, endlessly dating, always looking for a better option, stops opportunities in their tracks.Understanding relationships starts with you. Consider what you actually need from a relationship and whether the person you are dating is meeting these needs. Are they making you feel good about yourself? If the answer is 'no' and you feel insecure and unsure in the presence of this person than consider whether they are actually right for you. Ultimately you want to be in a relationship where you are respected, listened to, cared for and where you are having fun too.Knowing your attachment style is hugely helpful to understand your responses to other people. Do you need lots of reassurance? Do you always worry that the other person may not be interest in you? Do you idealise other people? It helps of course to know what kind of attachment style your dating partner has. Can you both create a secure relationship? If your dating partner is highly avoidant your relationship may never really take off. The dating scene is full of avoidant-dismissive people who struggle with commitment. To learn more about attachment styles you may want to listen to our podcast from 6 December 2020, How learning about attachment styles can help you understand your relationship.Consider what values are important to you and check whether your date shares these values. Values are more important in the long run than having the same taste in music or in movies.We are constantly adding more and more resources on our website The Relationship Maze - head over there now and find new ways to help you improve your relationships.