I was excited to listen in to Mangala Holland’s wisdom because she knows a lot about pleasure and how to support people to find more of it in their lives in a way that is not about looking sexy for other people. No surprises then, that there is some explicit language in this episode.  Mangala is a Women’s Empowerment and Sexuality coach, and facilitator.  She describes herself as being on a mission to help pussy-owners become empowered through loving themselves fiercely, celebrating their sexuality, and overcoming the fear, guilt and shame that keeps them playing small.What I love is that Mangala has a beautiful no-bullshit, fluff-free, grounded, dogma-free style. In this episode we discuss:How we can be confident in our sexuality, especially when we’ve been brought up in a culture of shameHow to move from numbness to pleasureMangala’s journey to an authentic, flowing expression of sexualityWhy ‘shoving things up there’ from jade eggs to performance enhancers can create more trauma and block pleasureHow sexual trauma can be played out in ‘healing’ groups, re-traumatising and shaming those who don’t perform as requiredHow to check-in with yourself and thaw out the numbnessHow to check for a ‘yes’ before doing anything downstairsHow sexual problems are more likely to be to do with having a too-tight pelvic floor than too looseHow to build embodied awareness in your genital area and pelvic floorThe toxic power dynamics and abuse present in some tantra organisationsThe problem with selling ‘empowerment’How to tell if a training is safeMoving away from the ‘male gaze’ to feel how we are from the insideAnd what happens when you are with another body trying to find pleasureAlong with lots more hot stuff and, of course, Mangala’s top tip for increasing pleasure in your life.You can find Mangala's website and online program hereTo find support if you have experienced abuse in an embodiment, tantra or yoga class or workshop have a look at the Yoni Shaki Movement or Tantra Not Trauma Facebook group.You can also look at Somatic Experiencing, TRE or search here or here for a therapist that specialises in trauma.I'd love to hear your thoughts on the topics we discuss, you can message me through Instagram or have a look at my website where you'll find a wealth of free resources.You will find the podcast on Spotify, More information about Katehttps://www.katecodrington.co.uk/Instagram @kate_codringtonSecond Spring: the self-care guide to menopause is available from your favourite bookshopMusicTrust Me (instrumental) by RYYZNCreative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0Free Download / StreamMusic promoted by Audio LibraryArtworkKate's portrait by Lori Fitzdoodles