Ep 268: Pleasure, Power, & Fellatio with Sex, Love, Relationship Coach Carla Crivaro.  Carla had so many amazing things to share! We started out talking about how men have a lot of pressure during sex, and it in part has to do with whether they have an erection or not. We talked about how porn gets misused as education when it really is just entertainment, but our sex ed is so poor that many people turn to porn because there are no other valid options. Carla talked about the need to talk about sex very early on in dating relationships to see if the people are sexually compatible. It's hard to talk about but she suggested using a yes/no/maybe game. She discussed busting the misconception that men are unemotional and how men can feel and express feelings. They may need to unlearn things learned from cultural influence and relearn things. We discussed how our culture really messes us all up in that women are taught to not talk about sex and men are taught not to feel. This messes up our relationships! She shared her blow job course for women and how women need to connect with and be ok with their inner slut. Women can find their inner sex Queen and enjoy blow jobs, and how this really resonates and heightens oral sex for men. She discussed her history of sexual shame, which included that females were either a virgin or a whore, and there was no in-between. Women need to shed shame and embrace their sluttiness. We chatted about sex toy usage... and if women are afraid of this to examine why...such as is it really about shame? She shared about penis massage and how it's a sensual journey for both partners that may end up in a sexual act, but may not...and to be okay with whatever happens. She explained why penis massage is penis worship, that it should include compliments and how the shame of a flaccid cock can be eliminated with penis massage. She discussed ways to improve confidence. Plus, how the wide range of the desired intensity of touch varies widely amongst people. She has a sexually empowered playlist for women (Spotify). Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed & certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach. She works internationally with men and women helping them understand themselves & each other, sexually, relationally.Carla has a new course for women called The Queen Of Blowjobs. It is designed to release your shame around giving head to unlock confidence in the bedroom which ripples out into all areas of your life. Experience pleasure as power and build a deeper and more intimate connection with your partner.Course access: https://www.carlacrivaro.com/queen-of-blowjobsInstagram: @the.sexuality.sanctuaryFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlacrivaroWebsite: www.carlacrivaro.comThank you to this episode's sponsors! Affiliates:Malehanger https://www.malehanger.com/ use the code OFY10 for 10% off.Manscaped where listeners can get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code RUANWILLOW20 at https://www.manscaped.com/ ad manscapedpodRuan Willow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Support the showSignup for Ruan's Newsletter: https://sendfox.com/ruanwillowRuan is a Manscaped Ambassador.Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code RUANWILLOW20 at https://www.manscaped.com/! ad manscapedpodMalehanger ad for Non-Invasive Male Enhancement for a larger penis. Get 10% OFF with code OFY10 https://www.malehanger.com/