Do you lack patience? Being patient is a massive struggle for many people, but for women, especially. Some of our impatience is due to our many roles and responsibilities, and some lead back to our habits and routines. Jill from Manchester, England, wrote in and said, “Thank you for creating the mindset resets, Danielle. I’ve been following the podcast and am a part of the Instagram community, and everything you talk about is helpful. But, there is still something I struggle with, and I am hopeful you can help give me some insight! My problem is: I’m incredibly impatient. It doesn’t matter what it is, I always want to be in the next place, doing the next thing, and I hate waiting! I want everything to happen on my schedule, and when it doesn’t, I get upset. I realize after listening to you that some of this is a trauma response from my past and perfectionism, but I need help to calm down and learn to wait. Can you help me? Of course, I have a few tools to help with impatience! But, first, we can all experience impatience. Minor and significant irritations, disruptions, and slow-moving goals add to our discomfort, and that is often when impatience roars its not-so-pretty head. The first place to start anytime you begin to feel impatient is to slow down your thought process and pick up on the thoughts and physical feelings of being intolerant. Impatience has a language that all of us have said. So that sounds like: “This is taking forever.” “I wish this would hurry up.” “I’m so annoyed by this.” “I don’t have time for this,” to name a few. These statements probably sound familiar, and yet, if we don’t have an awareness of what these statements and thoughts are below the surface, we can’t do much to change them or the root, which is impatience. So if you find yourself saying or thinking these statements or something similar, stop and check in with yourself. What is happening at the moment? Are you uncomfortable? Are you forecasting how something will play out? Do you feel displaced or infringed upon? What is truly happening? Impatiences can also have physical symptoms too. That feels like tension in your muscles, restlessness or jiggling your feet and legs, clenching your hands, being short of breath, elevated heart rate, irritability, and even area. Become clear about what is happening because we cannot address or fix what we do not know is happening. Next, work to shift your perspective about the situation. Most situations that make you feel impatient are the ones that cannot quickly or easily be changed. So instead of focusing on what is not happening, feeling powerless, or concentrating on what needs to be changed, you can change the narrative of the moment.   A great tool is to ask yourself: Since I cannot remove myself from this situation or change it immediately, how can I improve the moment or work for me? Getting into a space of mindfully creating active solutions breaks the tension and resets your thinking. Another way to tackle impatience is to create a personal strategy to counteract any triggers you have when it comes to lacking patience. This pre-work will help you be mindful and aware of the things that tank your thought process. So, grab a piece of paper or a journal and write a list of things that trigger your impatience. So that list may be traffic or having to wait, or maybe a person in your life could make you feel emotionally impatient. Write the list, and then offer yourself a firm strategy for how you will deal with that individual situation. This helps us create a toolbox of behaviors that will always serve us. So a solution could be that you are going to take three deep breaths, examine why you are frustrated and then explain how you feel using I language, not you language. So, I feel. I need. I want. I am. I think. Not, you always, you are, can’t you just, etc. Another solution may be to say, “I’m feeling a bit off at the moment, and I need to take a break.” This allows you to walk away. Whatever works f