Have you ever heard the saying, “You’ve got to fall in love with yourself first?” Many women reject this idea, but the truth is, the longest relationship you will have during your time on this earth is the relationship you have with yourself. Therefore, nurturing yourself is highly important, and if you want to have a life that is together, abundant, and truly in alignment, you must put yourself first. Margaret from Austin, Texas, wrote in and said, “Danielle, in the year that I’ve been following your work, I’ve been working toward owning my life and caring deeply about myself. I’ve made my mental health, emotional well-being, sleep, nutrition, physical activity, and relationships a priority. However, I still struggle to put myself first in all areas of my life. I know you’ve said multiple times that we must hold space for ourselves and our needs, but honestly, I still find myself giving more than I should because I want to be a good person. How can we hold space for ourselves without feeling selfish or guilty? And, are there ways that I can check in with myself to know if I’m putting myself first?” Fantastic question, Margaret. Many of us need a matrix to know if we have put ourselves in first position, and that’s exactly what we will work through and reset today! Doing this work comes in a few different simple and easy ways. As for holding space for ourselves, I love this is a focus of Margaret’s, and I hope it’s one of yours, too. For those that don’t know what the means, holding space for yourself means to be present with yourself, without judgment. It means you are willing to listen to your own needs, act from a grounded place of self-love, trust, and respect, and ultimately practice empathy and compassion. This is the essential act of putting yourself first. And before we dive into the rest of the question, I want to touch on quote “being a good person” quickly. First, understand that being a good person has different definitions for each of us. One may think that being a good person means doing the right thing at all costs, even the cost of yourself. You know, doing things you dislike. Others see being a good person as not speaking up for themselves, or staying small to make others comfortable with their own unwillingness to take control of their lives. Others believe it’s living as you are and trying to do your best. There are so many definitions. The problem with being a quote “good person” is that we often do unkind things to ourselves while we serve others without question and without realizing the long-term impact. The deal is this; when we put ourselves first in a genuine way, we realize that being a good person starts with how we treat ourselves. When we treat ourselves well, we have the ability to engage with others in a grounded and heartfelt way. We also realize that no one else will save or do the work for you. With this understanding, you also realize that you cannot be the one who does all the work for someone else. It’s that a-ha moment that you are the knight in shining armor—the princess who has to pick up her sword and slay her own dragons, right?   With that understanding on the table, let’s jump to the next part of Margaret’s question. Are there ways to check in and know if you are putting yourself first? And the answer is, yes, absolutely there are! And, to be honest, there’s a simple practice that you may be doing First, I want you to think of yourself and your life in the first position. The first position is the “I” perspective. I need, I want, I am. This is getting into a place where you do not see your goals, needs, and desires as something separate then yourself, but instead in the mindset of how this impacts me, and only me. “I!” To help you know if you are in the first position when you are doing something for others, they would be the second position. Instead of “I,” this is the “you” perspective of point-of-view, so you would say, “You are doing this.” Or “Are you doing that?” This you is s