Summary of Terrence Real's The New Rules of Marriage

By IRB Media

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Book Preview:

#1 If you feel that something is missing in your relationship, it’s because you’re right. You want a great relationship, and you deserve one. You’ll have to learn how to build great relationships, because society has failed to teach you the proper techniques.

#2 The game of love has grown so technical that you need an intimacy coach just to have a decent relationship. The truth is that navigating your relationship by simply doing what comes naturally will actually stack the odds against achieving lasting happiness.

#3 The fundamental issue that is robbing your relationship of the closeness and passion you deserve is history. If you are like the millions of men and women who feel dissatisfied, you have been trying to negotiate a twenty-first-century relationship using twentieth-century skills.

#4 The nature of marriage is undergoing a sea of change. In the beginning of the twentieth century, men left their farms and moved into the city to work. Women gained economic freedom, political power, and a new psychology.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IRB Media
• Release date: Jun 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9798822532731

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Insights on Terrence Real's The New Rules of Marriage

Contents

Insights from Chapter 1

Insights from Chapter 2

Insights from Chapter 3

Insights from Chapter 4

Insights from Chapter 5

Insights from Chapter 6

Insights from Chapter 7

Insights from Chapter 8

Insights from Chapter 1

#1

If you feel that something is missing in your relationship, it’s because you’re right. You want a great relationship, and you deserve one. You’ll have to learn how to build great relationships, because society has failed to teach you the proper techniques.

#2

The game of love has grown so technical that you need an intimacy coach just to have a decent relationship. The truth is that navigating your relationship by simply doing what comes naturally will actually stack the odds against achieving lasting happiness.

#3

The fundamental issue that is robbing your relationship of the closeness and passion you deserve is history. If you are like the millions of men and women who feel dissatisfied, you have been trying to negotiate a twenty-first-century relationship using twentieth-century skills.

#4

The nature of marriage is undergoing a sea of change. In the beginning of the twentieth century, men left their farms and moved into the city to work. Women gained economic freedom, political power, and a new psychology.

#5

The twentieth century was traditional in the sense that happiness meant being good companions. Husband and wife pulled in harness together, and faced life’s challenges together. No one seriously expected marriage to be passionate or to involve exquisite communication.

#6

The new marriage is intimate, and while some men might be thrilled if their wives remained as sexually provocative and generous as a mistress, the rest of the new package leaves them feeling inadequate and mystified.

#7

The last century has extolled the virtues of personal empowerment, but this has come at the expense of healthy relationships. Women understand that they do need men, just as men need them.

#8

I had worked with a lot of couples from the South and Southwest over the years, and I had never thought that a woman who appeared more traditionally feminine was necessarily content in a traditional marriage.

#9

The more Georgina tried to get her husband to be responsible, the more he yes’d her, only to blow off his commitment later. And the more Dan refused to act like a grown-up, the harder Georgina tried to get him to become one.

#10

The expectation of true intimacy in marriage has never been seen before in the West. In the patriarchal world we live in, intimacy is deemed feminine, and we devalue it in practice. As a society, we regard intimacy the way we regard most things considered feminine: we idealize it in principle but devalue it in fact.

#11

The most organized response to the shift in relationships between men and women has been a backlash, which is reflected in the laws and policies that have come out of it. Men are being told that their new demands for intimacy must be balanced with a return to the old rules of the ’50s.

#12

The biggest problem with most couple’s therapy and self-help literature is that they assume that both partners are equally dissatisfied and equally motivated to change. This is