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    Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend Loves Me, but He’s Not Affectionate Enough

    I’m tired of feeling like I’m putting more effort into our relationship than he is.
    by Lori Gottlieb Nov 19, 2018 5 minutes
    Source: Bianca Bagnarelli

    Editor’s Note: On the last Monday of each month, Lori Gottlieb answers a reader's question about a problem, big or small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

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    Dear Therapist,

    I'm in a loving, long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for three years, and long-distance for one. We’re both graduate students, and, for the most part, I think we have a healthy, caring, and respectful relationship. But over the three years we’ve been together, the same issue has come up consistently: I am an expressive and emotional person who loves affection and attention, and while he will tell me he loves me freely, he is a reserved person who is just not wired to be very demonstrative.

    I do my best to be understanding of this and I

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