Regain Your Self: Happiness Is No Charge, #7

By Stephen W. Barham

"Regain Your Self" is a book on how to regain a better sense of self after Narcissistic Abuse.

By targeting the emotions of the abuse, a person reduces the effects and regains emotional capacity, and betterment. More positive emotions come back to the surface.

The author has had some Narcissistic Abuse at times. He has PTSD, and started running into narcissists after moving.

He uses the technique in this book on his PTSD as well as emotional disruptions from the tactics of narcissists, bullies and other toxic people.

  Now you can learn a technique to defend against Narcissistic Projection, Goading, Gaslighting, and other manipulative tactics, and reduce the effects on you, regaining much of the lost you. Benefit.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stephen W. Barham
• Release date: Sep 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201421328

Stephen W. Barham

With a 2 year study of Psychosomatic Phenomena in the 70's, Steve Barham has been an Emotional Researcher since 2009. After 7 years of illness, ending in PTSD symptoms, he discovered a technique that stops negative emotions. He teaches this helpful technique in his "Happiness Is No Charge" books. Let a person who has the problems teach you.

Book preview

A Short History

This chapter is the same as in my book, Abuse with some modifications. Narcissistic Abuse is a war; a war for control and eventually the destruction of YOU.

War is one of the most abusive actions there is. The horrors of war abound. It is just brutal, and brutality. In war, and after, the effects on people continue to bother them. This happened even in ancient times. It is nothing new. It is a traumatizing experience as it goes against all sane pursuits. And in many cases, narcissism is no different.

During the 1880s, Dr. Sigmund Freud and his mentor, Dr. Josef Breuer, had many clients with what was called, Hysteria. Dr. Breuer found that hysteria was a psychosomatic condition, and was based on an emotional disturbance. This is a continual recalling of a trauma, the shock, negative emotions, and reactions to situations those people ran into. Dr. Breuer found that it was emotions of forgotten traumas that were causing the condition, and when a person started to remember these forgotten episodes, they started to feel better. He found that when what is called the emotional charge was discharged, the condition improved. My work validates this principle.

Freud found that by having a soldier talk about his World War 1 experiences, they too felt better.

Between 1974 and '76, I studied a talking therapy based on Freud and Traumatic Incident Reduction. Freud had several methods of this before he went to Free Association. It worked, but could take time, and usually needed a practitioner, and they had to be very practiced. I took a course on this. It helped get at this emotional charge component by talking out the incident many times; what was called the Traumatic Charge. It followed a very strict protocol. The Emotional Charge Technique is different. We target the emotions themselves, and do not necessarily need a description of what happened. I noticed that what happened was emotionally charged. Sometimes it helps to know the circumstances to see the emotions involved.

So, the concept of emotional charge and discharging emotional events of trauma have been well known for around 130 years, with much theory, practice, and experience by a great many practitioners in many related fields of Psychology.

Well, Narcissistic Abuse is a war, with victims and casualties. It has its atrocities and abominable behaviors, and it is emotional, especially in its after-effects: Anxiety, Depression, even PTSD and Complex PTSD. Shock induced, riddled, and disrupted traumatic states where the nervous system is just shot and worn to a frazzle. A friend on Facebook grew up with a narcissist mother. She developed physical symptoms from the constant abuse, culminating in her Complex PTSD.

The Concept of Emotional Charge

Emotion means, Energy in Motion. E-Motion. It came into use in 1579. Emotions have always been looked at as an energy, not merely brain chemicals, chemistry, or structures. It does not say what type of energy it is.

Turns out there are several energies involved. One is Chemical Energy. The chemical processes of the organs and glands that produce chemical compounds and how they move. There is also electrical energy involved in sending electrical signals. Those signals carry any number of instructions to glands and organs but also throughout the nervous system. Emotions have an electrical component. This can be detected with what is called a Galvanic Skin Response Meter, look them up. For more about that see my Target Your Emotions book of my research. It is not a topic for this book. A GSR meter is not necessary for this technique. There are 8 ways to tell the technique is working.

In my research, while emotions have chemical and electrical components in the mind, brain, and body, they are not the chemicals, or the electrical components. Emotions set these off and so are not really them: we interpret them to be an emotion when they are really an effect caused by the emotion.

Fear sets off a signal, an impulse, which goes to the brain and sets off organs and glands to the production of chemical compounds like Cortisol, with the help of electrical signals, and electrical signals can go out onto the nervous system and be felt, as with shock. Emotions are the preceding factor in this process. A potential energy becomes active and that movement sets things off, it is an internal motion; movement, action: Energy. Energy in Motion... E-motion.

This is theory based on observation and previous knowledge that predicts phenomena. This is the science of emotions. My research may be independent, but it validates many previously known things, as well as new insights.

Ok, we are dealing with energy. What we are really feeling as an emotion, is a sensation caused by this energy moving through our mind, brain, nervous system, and body. We interpret this energy signal, or frequency, as an emotion. (It is simply our word for this sensation).

An emotion has an amount of energy. There is an intensity, frequency, polarity, speed, momentum, inertia, and mass to this energy. This gives us what is called... a load. Like the current in an electrical circuit is called, the load, how much current is there? That would be the load on that circuit. That would be...The Charge, the amount of that load. Charge means, the load on something. It can be the traffic load on a street, a light or heavy load. That would be the charge on that road at any given moment. The load in this case is the pressure of the vehicles on the road, and the energy of that pressure.

Emotional Charge then is the amount, intensity, frequency, and polarity, etc. of that emotion on us... the emotional load. We are feeling this load, or pressure, on us and we interpret that sensation as an emotion. Emotional Charge is also the energy in, of, and behind an emotion itself; what makes that emotion tick.

Imagine you could see emotions on an oscilloscope. You would see different forms of electrical frequencies and waves. Happiness would be a high, very pure, sine wave, a nice rounded top with consistent crests and humps. Anger would be a very jagged wave, inconsistent, very pointed crests. Isn't that what it feels like, very jagged and resistive; a mass welling up inside us? When we have a negative emotion, we start feeling an actual electrical resistance. We have an electrical current and field in and around our body. Our brain produces 10 to 12 watts of electricity normally. You can look that up. Our brain is actually electrically charged.

Ok, so emotional charge is a charged up feeling and sensation, and it has several components. We are only interested in this thing called Charge. That is the key.

You can read an article on emotional charge. Do a web search for... Why Emotionally Charged Events are So Memorable. There is a physiological component for this. The brain uses emotional charge to prioritize memories. Fascinating.

The Emotional Charge Technique

Iindependently discovered this technique in 2009. I had been sick for 7 years with Grave's Disease, Thyroid Burnout, Intestinal Candida, and Leaky Gut Syndrome. Toxins and bowel matter were leaking into my body and bloodstream, which sets off your autoimmune system. After 5 years of fighting and dealing with this, and even healing up physically, I was still left in a debilitating state of shock with PTSD, and other symptoms, like food sensitivities. 14 years later, I still have some symptoms. Lack of Thyroid has as symptoms, anxiety, and depression issues. The Thyroid regulates emotional hormones. The lack of a Thyroid causes a hormonal imbalance, and you get symptoms. I was without help for 2 years. Then...

In late January or early February of 2009, I was having a severe fit of irritation. I was saying, This is irritating, this is irritating, this is soooo irritating, and the like, for several minutes. This is actually a psychology recommended thing to do. I independently stumbled on to this. But around 2016 or 2017, I found this article... Why Saying One Word Can Stop a Runaway Emotion. But it was not working for me. It was not going down, in fact, it was getting worse.

Then I had an epiphany. I had studied emotions with that psychosomatic phenomena course. That is where I learned the term, Emotional Charge. And in December of 2008, that term had come back to me from those studies. My realization was, Oh, this is not irritation. This is Irritation Charge, it was the energy load of the irritation that I was actually feeling. This was the key, the game-changer, this worked. I started repeating my realization. This is Irritation Charge, This is Irritation Charge, continuing, over and over again.

Soon, I noticed it lessen, and reduce, it then faded, and came to a stop, and I was calm. Dead calm. I had not been calm for 7 years! It only took about one minute for this to happen. If it was 50 seconds I would be surprised. It was fast, and amazing that first time. It was the first time in 7 years I was able to stop a negative emotion. Usually, I was left exhausted and devastated, and could have a ruined day, if not several hours. No kidding.

So, that is the technique.

Step 1: Name that emotion. This is irritation. That is Psychology recommended but does not always stop an emotion, as I found out. 

Step 2: Address the emotion as an emotional charge. Add the word charge to naming the emotion. This is Irritation Charge. You notice I capitalize that. It is a name, not just a noun. We label and name this charge. I know that might sound strange to a person hearing this for the first time. But this is what made all the difference. We are feeling the energy load or charge of that emotion, we do not feel chemicals. We do not feel Cortisol with stress. We feel a signal with a