It's Not Love: Uncover the truth, Understand the disorder and Undo the damage of a narcissistic relationship to obtain the love You deserve

By Susan A Broussard

               Uncover the truth about the person you are with. First this book will describe how the narcissist got to you and convinced you that you needed them. You will see how they methodically indoctrinated you into believing that they were your “Prince Charming” and you could not live wi

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Release date: Feb 14, 2019
• ISBN: 9781640855038

Susan A Broussard

Susan A. Broussard is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and life coach. She has helped countless individuals achieve the love they want in their lives. With over 15 years of experience helping individuals, children, couples and families she has developed a step by step way to reclaim your life.

Book preview

It’s Not Love

Uncover the Truth, Understand the Disorder and Undo the Damage of a Narcissistic Relationship to Obtain the Love You Deserve

Susan A. Broussard LMFT

Copyright © 2019 Susan A. Broussard

All rights reserved.

Published by Author Academy Elite

P.O. Box 43, Powell, OH 43035

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Paperback ISBN-13: 978-1-64085-501-4

Hardcover ISBN-13: 978-1-64085-502-1

eBook ISBN-13: 978-1-64085-503-8

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018964290

This book is dedicated to you. You who struggle to break free of old familial patterns and curses. You who has lost yourself in the pursuit of the love of another. You who wishes to change but does not know where to start. Start here.

Table of Contents

List of Illustrations

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Part 1: Uncover the Truth

- How to Tell If You are in a Relationship with a Narcissist

- Grandiosity

- Admiration

- Lack of Empathy

Part 2: Understand the Disorder

- Personality Extremes

- Mamma’s Boys

- Beware the Virgo Male

- It Comes in Three’s

- The Circle of Influence

- It’s all about the Benjamins

- Sexual Indiscretions

Part 3: Undo the Damage

- Escaping

- Grieving

- Empowerment

- Setting Boundaries

- Elevate Yourself

Appendix: How to Date Again

List of Illustrations

Power and Control Wheel

Cycle of Abuse

Grief Cycle

Foreword

We all long for healthy relationships. Healthy relationships with our parents, our children, our friends — but most of all with our partner. Many people, however, find themselves in unpredictable, disorienting and often dangerous intimate relationships. It may feel as if one was given a beautiful gift with shiny wrapping paper, an elaborate bow and a card with a seemingly perfect, loving message only to unwrap it and realize its contents are the real-world version of a lump of coal — a lifetime supply of disappointment, anger and resentment. Initially, this is so confusing! One tries with all their might to fix it — re-wrap the package, make it look as it did before, try to forget how the joy quickly turned to sadness when it was clear that the gift was a sham. But it will never look the same. The excitement and anticipation that preceded discovering the lie will never fully return, but the chase for those warm feelings will become a trap. This chase universally bears the refrain I feel like I am going crazy! But one is not losing their mind; they have been ensnared in the grips of a narcissist whose desire for power, control and validation eclipses even the most basic needs of all of those around him.

In over 15 years of practicing psychiatry, I have seen many patients try desperately to detach from their narcissistic partner. They frequently have difficulty sorting out their own thoughts and motivations from the alternative reality that has been created as they shaped their behaviors to minimize the discord at home. They may develop disorders of depression and anxiety, even contemplating suicide. While the brain knows leaving their partner is necessary, the heart struggles to follow. This disconnect fuels not only feelings of despair and powerlessness but also paralysis to change. Those who have been successful have done so with the help of an objective, loyal and fiercely honest friend, family member, therapist, coach or clergy-person.

No one should try to slay this dragon on their own — and you certainly don’t have to. I have worked with Susan Broussard, LMFT for many years and I am also privileged to call her a friend. She is tough yet kindhearted, empathic and a truth-teller to her core. She is the friend to call for straight-talk and the therapist to refer to when patients need that brand of sincerity. Her no-holds-barred approach, informed by her own life story, has helped many people learn to love and respect themselves, leading to rich and meaningful relationships with others. I am confident that through this book you will benefit from the wisdom of her experience. She will help you learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and how it may have had its grips on you even since your childhood, determine if you are trapped in a relationship with a narcissist and, most importantly, how to move forward making the healthiest choices for you and your family. While sometimes painfully honest and raw, she will push you