WHY PERFECTIONISM PREVENTS YOU FROM BEING CONFIDENT
PODCAST #335
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're chatting about:

What is perfectionism and do you struggle with it?
How to stop being a perfectionist
The toxic relationship between perfectionism and low-confidence
How to go into recovery with perfectionism so it doesn't hold you back any longer.


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WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM AND DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH IT?
What is Perfectionism? 
A refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.
What about Perfectionists?
In psychology, perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by “a person's striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations.” (https://personalexcellence.co/blog/perfectionism/)

Moving finish line.

Perfectionism is a manifestation of comparison.
Manifestations of Perfectionism:
All-or-nothing approach

Extremely high standards

Being extremely hard on oneself

Excessive negativity or self-pressure

Refusal to start unless absolutely prepared

The character of inflexibility, control and judgment

It's all about the end result

Moving finish line of standards

Success is never enough

You're never doing enough

Hyper-critical of mistakes and details that others don't even notice

Fear of failure - lack of desire to start / avoidance

Unrealistic standards

Self-critical and low self-esteem

Frequent fear of disapproval

High level of anxiety
My Relationship with Perfectionism:
I'm currently in recovery, a recovering perfectionist

Attempt to control my life and plan my future

Expressed lack of trust in God's goodness

Warped understanding of love and why I was loved - for what I do instead of for who I am

Therapy helped me pursue the land of grey and the idea of excellence

I used to take great pride in being a perfectionism - it was a crutch for me, a crippling one.
THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PERFECTIONISM AND LOW CONFIDENCE
At its core, perfectionism believes that one's worth is associated with one's performance and ability to be as close to perfect as possible. Perfectionism is, therefore, a belief that you are valuable based on what you do, not upon who you are.
Challenging Thought:
Do you love the people in your life because of who they are or because of what they do?
Perfectionism gives rise to low confidence because ...
It robs you of your identity as a human

It pulls you out of the love of a God who is filled with grace and mercy

It puts you into a constant state of competition

It convinces you to not start or that you're not enough or ready

It focuses your attention on what you are doing wrong instead of what you are doing right

It traps you into a limited / set mindset instead freeing you into ...