HOW TO BE FREE FROM PEOPLE PLEASING
PODCAST 324
In this week of The Confidence Podcast we are chatting about:

The chains of people pleasing, what their weight is actually doing in our lives
The deeper spiritual meaning we teach ourselves when we people please 
10 tips to help you stop people-pleasing


REVIEW OF THE WEEK:


AbbieWright101

Trish, I need to praise God for you and thank you for your obedience. I have been listening for a few months now, binging at least once a week and praying during each show that God would make all the things that you talk about true in my life. I am working hard to grow my business with my 8-month-old son and a husband who works full time and goes to school part-time, and the need for personal growth is huge! You are relatable and make all of these topics easy to manage and totally doable! Thank you and one day soon, I hope to join the College of Confidence. Your hard work has made so much possible within me and I can't even express the level of respect and appreciation I have for you! Thank you!!!
WHAT IS PEOPLE PLEASING REALLY ANYWAYS?
10 signs that you're a people pleaser, from Psychology Today >>> https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201708/10-signs-youre-people-pleaser

You pretend to agree with everyone.
You feel responsible for how other people feel.
You apologize often.
You feel burdened by the things you have to do.


You can’t say no.
You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.
You act like the people around you.
You need praise to feel good.
You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
You don’t admit when your feelings are hurt.

You may think being a people pleaser makes you a “good” person and is perhaps even a generous or loving way to be.  Nope.  It’s selfish to be a people pleaser.  Why? Because being attached to pleasing others is really about you.  You are the one who wants to be liked. You are the one who does not want to upset anyone.  You are the one who wants to look good for others. You are the one who is not okay with other people’s reactions. You are the one protecting yourself from confrontation.  And you are the one who is choosing to withhold expressing who you TRULY are. And by doing all of those things, you are keeping Yourself, your Light and your Love from the world – and that is selfish.

Remember this: what other people think of you is none of your business.

Obsessing about how to please others or be liked is a misuse of your energy.

From the HuffingtonPost:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-being-a-people-pleaser-is-selfish_b_598fc39de4b0caa1687a60d0?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALqDY2XAR7yjKeg6OAeH2Z5V66LwTXlFjweTIfjYIxOURKXiKtIjBrxNhaeU-VybSojpUGw2SHsInFJmfckcj037QXtR4CtpHv8JmCm32Hp4ibI2arNiEZBailOHbst5JgAuT14f0ZXFbX-vTHw-2QQXxZrdVISaXb2VcHJMpU-a
WHAT IS THE DEEPER SPIRITUAL MEANING?
When we step into people pleasing, we step out of balance. We step into an over-focus on trying to control what we can't. We are giving ourselves over to be a slave to opinions. We are giving other people the power to rule our lives, rather than God.

When we prescribe to people pleasing, we sign up for our value to be based on what other people say, think or pay us. We lose our worth in being the human being we were created to be, and are worth get tied up in what we do, versus who we are.

When we are afraid to contradict or upset people, then deep down that means that we are fearful that if people knew us for the real us, they wouldn't like us. We convince ourselves through people pleasing that the reason people like us is because we are easy to get along with.  I'm all for being easy-going and a team player in life, but if you people please, in many ways you talk out of both sides of your mouth and fail to stand for anything. You get blown around as easily as the wind, and allow other people to tell you who you are, versus being who you are.