How to Be Okay with People Not Liking You
Podcast #406
 


















In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we're talking about:







The fact that you are indeed likable, even when you feel like the odd-ball out or an only awkward oneThe reasons behind why we like some people and not others, and vice versaHow to be okay with people not liking you ---- and what to do about it














 
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
 


Trish Blackwell is inspiring - 5 Stars



by HessMart



I can't believe it took me so long to find Trish Blackwell. I've struggled my whole life with self-confidence, I'm 45-years old. I am learning so many tips from her. She's teaching me how to love myself. I have a very strong Christian faith and she sprinkles in the word of God but doesn't overdo it. Even if you're not a Christian, you will adore her and will feel more confidence from the first podcast you listen to.






 
MOST PEOPLE LIKE YOU
 


First, let it be said that probably most people you know like you.



And then there are those people who you don't think like you, who really are just having a bad day or need a smile or an attitude shift. (Example - receptionist at new pediatrician, cold to me, irritated and short ... but with kindness, she became kind. - we've got to be patient and extend grace to people --- we never know what's really going on where we can't see). 



The other percentage of people who maybe aren't overly "nice" to you are sometimes just:



-distracted



-busy



-self-focused



-anxious



-insecure



We often misinterpret people's distraction as a reaction and rating on who we are in their eyes. 



Finally, there's the group of people that we self-assume don't like us. The people we feel different from that we convince ourselves that because of our differences we don't have commonalities. And this of course, couldn't be further from the true.



But - a note on being different.



We all feel different.



And it's a weird feeling - it creates a deep state of internal tension.



But, friend, please know, this is quite universal.



It doesn't mean you're weird. It means that you need to attribute new value to the word and descriptor "different." 



Side note: in 2020 a lot of us are being different - each interpreting our situations, our priorities and our goals through mixed information. It feels awful, but embrace that place. I'm learning the spiritual gift of accepting being on the outside - on the fringe - on being different because it is forcing me to be okay with people not liking my decisions, potentially judging me or talking about me behind my back, or the like. It's okay to do life differently. 



In fact, being different inspires me. I don't want to live like the world: stressed, behind, anxious, insecure, chaotic and seeking whatever next high will fill my soul.  I want a hurry-free life. I want a slow life. I want a deep life. 



I work with my entrepreneurs on this - lifestyle choices that are different are okay --- like having boundaries with your hours, taking a day of complete rest ---- let people have their opinion and you stick to yours. 


 
PEOPLE LIKING OR NOT LIKING YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
 
 


What people think about you is none of your business.



What is your business?



-Your thoughts



-Your decisions



-Your actions



-Your purpose



-Your kindness



-Your showing up in this world



No one likes a busybody or nosey neighbor. So why do we think it's okay to be like that internally, even if we're the only ones who know it?



The more I've studied confidence, and the more I feel secure as my relationship with God deepens, the more I am coming to understand that if I live my life in a way that everyone likes me, then I am doing something wrong. It means that I'm not standing for anything - that I waver and cater to every opinion - that I'm building my life upon the sand, not upon a firm foundation.



Think about someone you know who tries to have everyone like ...