How to build confidence in yourself so that you can be happier and show up better in your marriage and other relationships.   Show Summary   Hello everyone, so today I want to talk about confidence and how having confidence can really help you in your marriage and it can really help you in any relationship.  Confidence is a really important part of your mental and emotional health.  And building confidence is not something you can just do once and be done with.   It’s something that requires constant maintenance and is an important skill to learn.  It’s also something that people also don’t understand how to get better at. So that’s what we are going to talk about today.   So first lets talk about why we don’t have confidence.     Now in the LDS church, we believe that we are literal sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.  We are DIVINE.  We all have infinite worth.  And that’s a really beautiful concept.  But why do we not believe it?   So there is a disconnect between this divinity and how we feel about ourselves.  Inside every one of us is an innate fear that we are not enough.  And its not just limited to a certain skill set, but we just aren’t good enough human beings.  That there is something wrong with us.  That we are not worthy of love or worthy of the good things that come to us.  We don’t embrace our divinity.   Most of you have probably heard the analogy of a $100 bill being crunched up, maybe ripped and torn…but it is still worth $100 even thought its not perfect. And that’s just like us.     Now I want you to think of a brand new baby.  This baby is straight from heaven.  It is beautiful and has never done anything wrong.  And of course that baby has infinite worth and nothing can change that.  But when we grow up and we experience life…that worth changes?  NO!  There is not a single human being on this earth that didn’t start out as a beautiful baby. And that worth doesn’t change over time.  It doesn’t change because of things we do or don’t do.   We all have INFINITE worth.  We are are all worthy of being loved.  We are all divine.  Period.   The problem is, we often let our worthiness or even our HUMAN-NESS make us feel less than…   So why do we beat ourselves up so much for being HUMAN?  For making mistakes?  When we do not live up to the expectations we have for ourselves?  Or why do we let others make us feel “LESS THAN” if we don’t live up to their expectations?     And the kicker is…when we think less of ourselves we actually show up worse in the world.  It’s like a self-fulfilling prophesy.  I feel like I’m not enough, so I’m not going show up as my best self.  And if you don’t show up as your best self how are you showing up?  How are people going to treat you if you aren’t showing them your best, true, authentic self?     Now…if we can change our thinking so instead of saying “Well…this is me.  I’m not great, so I don’t know if you are going to like me or not because I don’t really like me” to “Hey, this is me.  I am amazing.  I have infinite worth.  I’m also human.  I make mistakes.  But I will love myself in my human-ness because I know that I am a child of God and I am divine and I have infinite worth and I have some amazing talents and qualities.”  How will that make you feel about yourself? So much better, right?   Dr. Sasha Heinz is positive psychologist and she says “Everyone’s biggest challenge in life is to get over the crap in their own head.  The ONLY obstacle you ever have to overcome is the stuff in your mind.”  I love that!   So, how do we do that?   To have confidence, the first thing you need to do is change that inner dialogue.  I want you to start to notice the things that you think about yourself.  If you walk by the mirror and you inner dialogue says “I am so fat”  First, just notice that thought. You aren’t going to be able to change that thought right away.  You can’t go from “I hate my body” to “I love my body” overnight.  Your brain will re