How to Stop Putting Pressure On Yourself
Podcast #407
 










Putting pressure on yourself doesn't work. In fact, it's a surefire way to wreck your confidence, spiral in overthinking, and lose your joy to comparison and jealousy. Putting pressure on yourself is a false prophet that we have convinced ourselves will lead us to the success crave. But maybe our definition of success is skewed? Maybe there is a way to live free from the pressure, the guilt, the anxiety, the comparison, the feeling behind, and feeling inadequate?  This podcast episode will dive into exactly that and more. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/407







In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're talking about:







Why we put pressure on ourselves in the first place, and why it's not just not working, but reverse workingThe connection between pressure and guilt5 things you can do today to start shifting the internal conversation in your mind










 
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:






One Step at at Time - 5 Stars



Miss E Room 135



Trish1 I am a teacher and thoroughly enjoy the luxury of having summers off. However, as much as I look forward to summer break I always find myself in a weird place as it forces me to process my emotions and face myself. That began as reading my Bible daily and lifting weights consistently. Early on in June I stumbled upon your podcast and am SO THANKFUL for it. I binge listened to the first couple of weeks and now have made the College of Confidence and Tuesday podcast part of my weekly routine. I often say Amen girl! Am feeling so uplifted as I hear your words! 








 
WHY WE PUT PRESSURE ON OURSELVES IN THE FIRST PLACE






We think we aren't motivated if we don't.



We think we're behind or not enough.



We think our feelings dictate ours lives, not vice versa.



We aren't doing the thought work we need.



We aren't making time to think and journal and be coached.



We aren't stretching our belief systems to believe in change. 



Ultimately, we are in a constant state of dissatisfaction. 







How do you know if you're putting too much pressure on yourself?







-you wake with anxiety



-you let your failures or fears keep you from trying



-you don't think you're good enough



-you feel stressed out all the time.



-you have unrealistic expectations



-you always want more or feel like you should do more



 -you can't relax 



-you think your life will be better when you just achieve the next thing


 
WHY DOES THE PRESSURE NOT WORK?
 


It chokes our confidence. 



It directs us to chase the wrong definition of success.



It subconsciously communicates to us that we aren't naturally motivated - we don't trust ourselves.



It speaks more of pessimism than of optimism. 



It makes us feel like we're behind where we should be. 


 
HOW DOES IT ACTUALLY REVERSE-WORK?
 


It tarnishes the real definition of success - and our ability to live life well.Success is not found in achievement or accumulation - not even in status. Success is a state of the soul. It is the pursuit of living life, with all you have been given, faithfully and fully. 



Pressure pinches the flow of our best life. 



(Think about pinching a hose). 


 
THE CONNECTION BETWEEN PRESSURE AND GUILT

 
 
 
Guilt drives us to dark places of shame and stuckness.
 
For me, with pressure, there was an innate message to myself that I had to go all in all the time otherwise I would fail or drift off course. The drifting scared me because I didn't trust myself. Therefore, the more pressure I put on myself, the more dramatic it felt when I didn't do things perfectly.
 
Pressure communicates an unspoken expectation of perfection. 
 
So, when I wasn't perfect, the tsunami of guilt swept me up. 
 
Now, when I'm pressuring myself to be beyond where I am at the moment, these help:


Delight and distraction contradict one another. 
What's the rush, I'm not in a hurry?
God, I trust you with my pace and my place.