Podcast #451
Black and White Thinking is Hurting Your Confidence
 










Black and white thinking, or all or nothing thinking, is a thought strategy often used by highly driven people that actually stunts progress, deteriorates happiness and limits potential. If you have ever described yourself as an "all or nothing" person or as a "black and white" thinker, this podcast coaching is for you. It will help you with the steps to take on how to get out of the black and white thinking loop and how to have more mental flexibility and self-kindness in the process. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/451


In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're talking about:


·       How black/white and all-or-nothing thinking shows up in driven people and why we cling to it like a security blanket when it's really suffocating us



·       The process to disassociate this type of thinking from your identity



·       How to become a flexible, happy thinker


 
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
 


Confidence and Wisdom - 5 Stars



I am forever thankful for Trish's passion, for helping me help myself by understanding that loving myself means taking care of the thoughts I create and pay attention to on a daily basis. 



Trish, I love that you see emotional self-care and self-reflection as a daily practice, much like brushing our teeth. Part of my work is with inpatient Psychiatric patients dealing with sever depression, and oftentimes I hear myself quoting your "brushing teeth" analogy to help them understand that taking care of our mental health is something that should be practiced every day, like brushing teeth. Trish, thank you for helping me find the confidence I have been searching for year, I cannot wait for what the future holds. Sincerely, Cinthya Mena, PA-C



(CinthyaMena) 




 
BLACK & WHITE THINKING / ALL-OR-NOTHING IS FOR THE BIRDS
 


Chances are, if you're driven, you've tapped into extreme thinking. As a result, you get results in some ways, and then get addicted to the method that you thought got you the results. But, you got the results from clean thinking - not the flawed thinking of black and white. 



I held onto black and white thinking for way too long because I misidentified where my results came from, and I didn't trust myself or my natural drive.



Your thoughts are what create your results in life --- not your extreme control or categorization of things.



Just because you have a natural inclination or preference to think this way doesn't mean that it's hard-wired into you. :) 


My black and white thinking 
-kept me stuck in my eating disorder longer 
-slowed my business growth with narrow focus on the "how" of the right way versus the wrong way
-put me into a place of judgment of others instead of love and grace
-created an internal state of self-criticism and unrealistic, non-human expectations
-drove me to a place of trying to prove myself and absolute exhaustion. 
 
How is it hurting your confidence?
-Keeping you limited in a one-dimensional type of thinking?
-Making you obsess about doing things a certain way?
-Having unreasonable standards for others?
-Driving you to extremes; pendulum of intensity vs. passivity
-Convincing you to not even start?
-Addicting you to external affirmation / being the best?
-Plunging you into scarcity thinking and comparison?
-Creating a mental atmosphere of hyper-criticism and extremism 

 
SPONSORSHIP NOTE: BETTERHELP
 


Is there something interfering with your happiness? Have you been wanting to start counseling, but not know where to look or start? 



BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You get to connect in a safe and private online environment - it's so convenient, and of course confidential. Once you sign up you can start communicating in under 24-hours. Y'all, this isn't self-help, this is professional counseling.



What I love about it the most is that you can send a message to your counselor ...