The Pain and Anguish of Living with a Narcissist: See the Truth Within You, Not the Lies of a Narcissist

By Sarah Gates

What inspired and motivated me to write this sort of book?

Journalism is all great, but a book is what takes it off the self, read, and learn from. Its about the pain and secrets that others need to know and what it means to be abused and that no one deserves this. Its time that I claim back my life and do what I was born to do and to stop being the narcissists puppet. This is my way to fight off all pain and live life to the fullest.

As you go through each chapter, youll learn what traits a narcissist enjoys using on me and why they do such things. Do you sometimes feel something is just not right while in a relationship with someone? And why do you always feel depressed? As you read on, the realization will surface, then youll be able to answer all the whys that you keep asking yourself. Do you always ask yourself, What did I do wrong? Am I not good enough? Read carefully each word, and it will help you to become more aware and how to take notice of any abuse you may think is happening to you. This can become your lifes wake-up call, not your midlife crisis.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 21, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543445541

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Sarah Gates.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-5434-4555-8

                eBook           978-1-5434-4554-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 08/21/2017

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Contents

Acknowledgement

Chapter 1 Attention

Chapter 2 Guilty

Chapter 3 Unworthy

Chapter 4 Fantasies And Lies

Chapter 5 Control

Chapter 6 The Past

Chapter 7 User

Chapter 8 Not Listening

Chapter 9 Judgemental

Chapter 10 Hoarding

Acknowledgement

I’m dedicating this book out to many out there who and can be victims of any sort of abuse whether it’s physical, emotional, or psychological especially when it comes from a narcissist. This book describes the many ways of abuse that is inflicted from a narcissist to upon the one they say they love them.

To my three awesome children who all saved my life, without them I personally wouldn’t be here today. Along the way they all helped me stay strong and gave me the biggest reason to live. Bless their hearts.

To all my closes friends and family who helped me through tough times and who actually listened to all I ever had to say in ways of encouragements and supported me most when I needed it.

To the narcissist in my life has taught me to learn what it means to be compassionate, reach and be aware of my calling, teaching me to grow up spiritually and mentally, and helped me take notice of what it means to be stuck and how to get unstuck and what to do to move on.

I have supplied to you a few of personality disorders that all lead to someone who acts just like a narcissist. Now, just imagine living with someone who has all these traits and ask yourself why you feel crazy. I do see myself as a little amount of each in me but they are very small. At least if I do notice myself having some sort of personality disorder of any kind, I do realize and I do what I can to stop it.

I’ve noticed the narcissist I live with practices spiritual bypassing. It’s very sorry of him that he does this and cannot realize that he is ruining his relationship with our children and I. Spiritual bypassing means he’s attached to his ego self in a form of a trap upon himself, by his own entailment. Selfish acts. not taking responsibilities of his life, the feeling of always wanting to be above everyone, not being truthful to himself or to anyone else and thinks things will go away by itself. Ignores everyone and thinks his way is always right. Cannot extinguish working and learning by his mistakes and not willing to accept the reality of it. Being overly kind and compassionate thinks this is the way to get answers to life. The holding on to past issues and repeating to surface them in forms of anger, and is not able to move on.

I’ve also noticed how much of a lost soul my ex-husband has. It’s always a battle to me of survival everyday and the thought of always wanting to reevaluate my life situations while trying to keep my own life in balance and what and where I deserve to do and go.

Description of a lost soul

- Cannot bare the truth of anything

- makes no effort to try

- always negative

- lives only based on what others say

-cannot live for himself

-ruled by his own fears

-distorted sense of self

- feels unworthy and never feels good enough

-always around others who drag him down

-believes his own toxic thoughts

- no imagination and cannot vision anything positive

-always stuck in the past

-tries to control anyone and anything to help support his insecurities

-afraid to take risks

-chooses life with no meaning or value

-cannot distinguish between thoughts and actions

Life- This is what I see and want for my life as in my physical form, mind, heart and spiritual soul.

Physical body is to enjoy keeping busy at most waking hours. I do also enjoy rest times as it helps to recharge my soul and energy. As I sit back and enjoy some lazy days of achieving almost nothing, but I sometimes think I’m wasting valuable time that I should be doing something productive. I do give myself credit that I do at some point deserve having lazy days from time to time.

My physical body also expresses my appearance such as what I look like whether I’m big or small, tall or short, black or white. Also lets me know when I feel calm, nervous, weak, or strong on any given day. To me, being physical isn’t always the way to judge someone, judging someone by their looks is only the book cover and not the actual blueprint of who you actually are.

Spiritual Soul- this is what labels you to be your true self

I believe I’m here for purpose. throughout my whole life, I’ve always had to battle to survive, not only in a physical form but also in emotional and spiritual way. The biggest battle I have is having to live with someone who enjoys taking advantage of me in forms of abuse. I’ve always had to endure others who like to ruin my thoughts of wanting to succeed in what I believe should be accomplished for me.

My spiritual self allows me to love and be friendly with everyone, if given a chance. But the ones I feel have toxic egos I usually step back and avoid such people. Because I know everyone has a heart of gold and that gold should always be revealed to make this work a better place and peaceful for everyone. If only everyone would realize their own supplies of gold they have hidden inside themselves.

I’ve raised three children with one still residing home, due to his young age, but is also old enough to be a little independent. My children are the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I would do it again. Being a parent has taught me patience, love commitment, and what life really means. Now that my children are almost all grown up and moved out, it’s time I start to reveal myself and take notice and read the signs