Good Girls Don't

By Mara Wilson

In this candid and illuminating Scribd Original, writer-actor Mara Wilson navigates the good-girl-versus- bad-girl tropes from early childhood through adolescence and teen life. Good Girls Don’t is a coming-of- age memoir that bravely examines both the friendships Wilson formed as a child actor in Hollywood and the complex family relationships that shaped her.

Looking back on her experiences on and off the set of notable family-friendly films including Matilda, Mrs. Doubtfire, Miracle on 34th Street, and A Simple Wish, Wilson shares the challenges and joys of growing up in the public eye while enduring the very personal grief of losing her mother to cancer when she was just eight. She describes periods of acting out to assuage her own sadness, as her contentious grandmother stepped in and her hardworking, grief-stricken father grappled with raising a young daughter and her four siblings.

Wilson also shares intimate thoughts about religion and her struggle to adhere to the learned family values of her “Conservadox” upbringing while exploring clandestine friendships, such as with “bad girl” classmate Skye, that went against the “good” behavior her parents tried to instill in her. We discover the TV shows, films, and risqué pop and rock music that influenced her and hear fascinating, hilarious details of life on movie sets as seen from the perspective of a highly intelligent and emotionally vulnerable child.

And, as Wilson seeks to discard a people-pleasing mentality, she digs into past experiences with fans. We learn about the challenges of maintaining a significant fan base — including her complicated relationship with Edward, the college-age young man who administered a website to engage them — in addition to the ongoing anxiety over others’ opinions of how any move she made would be perceived.

With the transition to adulthood, Wilson reflects on the moments that led up to this next phase of her life. Forging solid friendships as a theater student at New York University, she begins to accept her extraordinary past while finally realizing what being “good” means to her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Everand Originals
• Release date: Apr 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9781094453958

Book preview

Prologue

My friend’s a big fan of yours, a girl said to me.

Oh thanks! I replied.

Yeah, he loves your movies, she continued. So, will you dance with him?

It was the last night of a four-day cruise to Ensenada, and I was sixteen years old. My stepmother had recently won Employee of the Year at work — the TV station where my father was also employed — and they had decided to celebrate with a vacation. I, of course, immediately left them and my sister to find people my own age.

This particular evening, I was dancing with a small group I had met on the second day of the trip. They were teens who were interested in the same things that I was: musical theater, comedy, and sci-fi books. We would roam around the ship and go swimming by day, then hang out at the teen dance club by night. My new friends and I had been dancing when the girl came up to me.

You should dance with him, she said. This time, it wasn’t a question.

I looked over at her friend, the boy who loves my movies. I didn’t know him. We hadn’t met yet. But it didn’t matter. I was an extrovert, and all I had to do was introduce myself and thank him. Dance with him, though? That was more than I wanted, especially since kids who weren’t dancing in a group with their friends — like us — weren’t just dancing: the other boys and girls on the dance floor were grinding.

I had known that grinding was essentially vertical dry humping. I’d never done it before and never liked a boy enough to want him to get that close to me. Just the thought of it made me uncomfortable.

Besides, I had to be a good girl. Maybe it was fine for other girls to grind with boys that they didn’t know, but it wasn’t fine for me. Strangers knew who I was; they recognized me from the very public persona I already had at that age. People were always looking, always judging, and I had to watch myself… I had to always be the good girl. But there was another voice inside of me, and it was louder: He’s your fan. You have to be nice to your fans. You don’t want him to think you’re a snotty spoiled brat, do you? A rude bitch? What if he told people about it? Everyone would know. Everyone would hate you.

Okay, I finally responded. I didn’t want to, knowing that it might be a mistake.

I went over to him, smiled, and thanked him for being a fan. I asked his name, and after he told it to me, he didn’t say a word. I turned my back to him and felt his hands on my hips. His hips were close to mine, bouncing up against me again and again. I let my mind float away, out of my body and into the music. Missy Elliott’s One Minute Man was flowing through the speakers, and she was demanding a man who could please her. That felt so alien to me: wanting someone to please you.

Is this what a good girl did? Did a good girl always give in? I tried not to think about how young I had been in my movies, the movies this boy was such a big fan of. The last movie I’d been in, I had just turned twelve and was still wearing a training bra. I shuddered, and then I tried not to think about what people might say about me.

Did you see her grinding with him? That’s Matilda. Matilda’s a slut!

I let him grind on me for longer than seemed appropriate and politely excused myself to return to the group that I felt comfortable with, the ones who wouldn’t ask me to do something I didn’t want to do. I could feel rage simmering inside of me (a fire that never went out and always seemed to flare up at the worst times). I tried to control it, to smother it, to not let what had just occurred get to me. It wasn’t a big deal, I told myself. I was just doing something nice for a fan. It was what I was supposed to do.

I turned away from him and the girl. I would never remember either of their names, and I would never want to.

This wasn’t a moment I thought about a lot, at least not for a long time. When I did, all I felt was anger. It took me years to put it into words; it wasn’t just gross and uncomfortable, it was typical. It was an embarrassing adolescent moment, one in which I struggled with every value that I had, and one in which, no matter what I did, I couldn’t be a good girl.

It felt like a fractionalized moment of my life; too often I’ve had to give in, to go against myself in order to keep the peace or be good. And in response, I only got angrier — with myself and with the world.

It’s a shame, because deep down all I ever wanted was to be good.

Chapter 1 - Good Girls Don’t

By all accounts, I was a very well-behaved little girl. I had been wanted. My parents loved having three boys but, by 1987, it seemed that everyone, even the boys, agreed that three of them was enough. They had no real way of knowing my sex. Amniocentesis was seen as risky, and ultrasounds weren’t as advanced. Shortly before I was born, my entire family decorated the interior of the house pink as a kind of wishful thinking. My oldest brother, Danny, would always tell me how he was wearing a pink shirt and drinking from a pink cup when they got the call from the hospital: I was alive and healthy and, yes, I was a girl.

As an adult, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if things had gone differently, if I hadn’t been… a girl. How much sooner would I have had to face my greatest fear of disappointing someone?

Everybody loved you, Danny would always say. You were the sweetest thing.

I was doted on, but I wasn’t spoiled. My mother insisted on that.

Mama, why can’t you get me all the things I want? I asked her once.

You’ll get spoiled, she responded.

"But I want to be spoiled!" I said.

She laughed her deep, loud laugh. It was one of the few stories she’d tell about me at

Reviews for Good Girls Don't

[kayla02161992 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Cute read will read her first book and anything she writes.

[Tina Bee · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Thoughtful, honest, and humble, "Good Girls Don't" is the new memoir by child actor Mara Wilson. At only 82 pages, it's a quick but enlightening peek into her life from early childhood to young adulthood. Written using a conversational tone, it feels like Mara is talking directly to you as you read. She captivates you instantly and keeps you engrossed, making it nearly impossible not to zip through the entire book in one sitting.

Sharing her experiences as a friend, daughter, and celebrity, Mara comes across as down-to-earth and completely relatable. The more you learn about her, the more you like her. She's clearly a good person. Yet as engaging as the book is, there's something missing. Since "Good Girls Don't" ultimately revolves around Mara's need to please everyone and be seen as a good girl, you expect her to impart some insight, wisdom, or advice in the final chapter(s). An overall message to the reader, perhaps, that ties everything together and makes the book's point. But it's not there.

Don't get me wrong. Without it, "Good Girls Don't" is still a quick, interesting read. If you like celeb memoirs and subscribe to Scribd, I highly recommend it. It's well written and entertaining. Although it missed the mark with me, you might love it. At the very least, you'll like it. I did.

**Thank you to Scribd and Mara Wilson for the complimentary eARC in exchange for a fair, unbiased review.**