Reflections on Higher Love

By Kaemanje Thomas

These reflections are mere experiences that are common to most human beings. When life happens whether we are conscious or unconscious of these events, it brings us to a reality that some things in life happen randomly. There are noticeable constraints inherent to our existence, but ultimately we realize that we need to master ourselves, our emotions and embrace one truism that some of our pain is self-chosen.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481705455

Kaemanje Thomas

Kaemanje S. Thomas is an author, poet, and educator. He has more than twelve years of experience in higher education. He is the author of two books and penned several articles for Examiner.com on issues of education. Mr. Thomas was selected twice for the Editor’s Choice Award in Poetry in 2004 – 2005. He was featured in Noble House’s collection Labours of Love (2005), and selected as Madison’s Who’s Who 2008-2010 as one of its influential people. Mr. Thomas work garnered the attention of The International Library of Poetry and subsequently named as one of the most influential poets in their selection of Who’s Who in Poetry. In 2007, he was also the distinguished finalist in their collection titled, Celebrate! Poets Speak Out. Mr. Thomas is a currently a doctoral candidate and pursuing a doctorate in Educational Leadership. He serves as the Co-Chair publicist for the Educational Leadership Student Association. Mr. Thomas holds several memberships, these include, the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development, the National Council of English Teacher, New York State Association for College Admission Counseling, and a member of the Alpha Epsilon Lambda Honor Society.

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© 2013 by Kaemanje Thomas. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/16/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0544-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0545-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

About this Book

Dedication

Author’s Note

How to Use this Book

Part I:Self

1 Rules

2 Freedom

3 Overextension

4 Interpretation

5 Control

6 Awareness

7 Honesty

8 Reflections

9 Non-reaction

10 Unhappiness

11 Emotional Poison

12 Loving Ignorantly

13 Compassion

14 Pride

15 Restraint

16 Fear

17 Strength

18 Adversity

19 Pain

20 Identity

21 Sacrifice

22 Patience

23 Vulnerability

24 Denial

25 Doubt

26 Decisions

27 Observation

Part II: Others

28 Relationships

29 Higher Love

30 Conversations

31 Connections

32 Cycles

33 Friendship

34 Handbook

35 Secrets

36 Gossip

37 Front Seat

38 Spell

39 Judgment

40 Intent

41 Abandonment

42 Misrepresentation

43 Forgiveness

44 Compatibility

45 Ending

46 Anger

Part III: Surroundings

47 Letting Go

48 Awakening

49 Illusions

50 Being-ness

51 Seeds

52 Wisdom

53 Value

54 Abundance

55 Seasons

56 Force Field

57 Timing

58 Shift

59 Evolution

60 Balance

61 Love’s Essence

62 Advancement

63 Change

64 Distance

65 Death

66 Openness

67 New Year

68 Fantasy

69 Consigning

70 Words

71 Addiction

About this Book

These reflections are mere experiences that are common to most human beings. When life happens whether we are conscious or unconscious of these events, it brings us to a reality that some things in life happen randomly. There are noticeable constraints inherent to our existence, but ultimately we realize that we need to master ourselves, our emotions and embrace one truism that some of our pain is self-chosen.

Dedication

To the memory of David S. Thomas and the incomparable Whitney Elizabeth Houston and my friends, Dr. Edison O. Jackson, Dr. Rebecca Dashiell-Mitchell, Robert Walker, Dr. Hadley Cadot, Edwin Harris, and Emilio Coppin for being excellent sources of inspiration during trying moments. Without each of you, the journey along life path would be treacherous. Thank you for believing in me even when I feel like throwing in the towel.

Author’s Note

We often find ourselves at crossroads and places of change. In the midst of these changes, we sometimes lose interest in enjoying the moments that grace our ephemeral existence. Each moment is a reflection of the thoughts we create consciously or unconsciously. In the moments, our thoughts manifest, find ourselves in a state of awe, wondering if we are the creator of these realities. For in their manifestation there is a reality that life, as we know it is a matter of the thoughts we create moment-by-moment. We have a choice to live the dream or stay bounded in fear. When we choose to live boldly, we then acknowledge and embrace the inner power of our spirit. When we select the opposite of living fearlessly, we then come to the realization that learning to love oneself is, in fact, the greatest love of all. To walk in someone else’s shadow is to dim our light, thus giving permission for dominance. Sometimes, during these moments we become cognizant to a reality that we are actually engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors. This in turn, materializes in sometimes-painful experiences with our inner self, the world, and others resulting in passive-aggressive interactions often blind to the reality that our pain is self-chosen.

Unless we create a collaborative and healthy walk with ourselves, which frees us from vibrating on lower frequencies, we will find that when we constantly find ourselves walking incessantly in moments of mental and emotional pain, it is our self-chosen action or inaction. There is no greater truth; we are responsible for our own happiness, love, and freedom. When we engage in codependent relationships, we are in fact, stating that we are responsible for nurturing our love. This is also a testament supported by an inner security and a profound knowledge that we can control and master our emotions. Until we have acknowledged and synchronized our emotional and spiritual realities with what exists externally, we will come to the realization that we cannot control, change, or continue to manipulate people at the expense of our own unhappiness; we will learn true happiness. Reflections on Higher Love is a compendium of thoughts woven with direct and indirect experiences, and meditations with the world at large. Staying in divine harmony even when the melody of our hearts are not syncopated with life’s rhythm requires mastery of one’s emotions. If we settle for parasitic relationships, we will only attract parasites whose nature it is to feed on those who provide for them a sanctuary. Until we arrive at the place, it is then we realize that we are indeed, more powerful beyond measure.

How to Use this Book

The mentioned words that follows is a possible guide for meditation and personal reflections. It is not meant to give unequivocal advice to anyone, but seeks to shed some perspective on our existence with others, our environment, and us. It is my direct intent that as the reader reads, he/she will write his/her personal reflections at the end of each reading.

Part I

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Self

1

Rules

It is common during the winter months for people to go through emotional changes. These emotional changes range from withdrawal to desire for affection. Around this time of the year, some individuals experience deep depression and may contemplate suicide especially if they feel alone. In happenstance if they meet someone, there is a tendency to latch onto the first person they meet. This need to belong or be loved is one that can add further emotional stress on a person who may genuinely want to know you, but not necessarily rush to commit. For the person who is in a dire need to attach, when the action is not reciprocated expeditiously, that response may be viewed as rejection. As humans beings, it is our DNA to give love and to expect the same in return. These are however, a few suggestions if you are currently single or looking to date someone seriously, you may want to follow or observe:

Rule #1

• If you meet the person on the Internet, in the club or on the street, slow down and try not to rush into anything sexual. If you do, then be certain that you are not confusing sex with love.

Too often, people confuse the two. If you are sharing your body, be sure to understand this is your choice, minus the deluded attachment of love in the works. For if the opposing party is not reciprocating emotional attachment after sex, you may feel rejected, failure to comply with this may result in displaced anger.

Rule #2

• Try not to pry or try to pull out unwanted information from the other person

It can be difficult for some people to share their personal lives up front. With this awareness, be sure not to press or ask questions you are not prepared to answer. If, for some odd reason, the person refuses to answer, this is by no means a sign that the opposing party is hiding something. Remember, you just met, and one week or three months is not enough time for some people to thoroughly open up themselves to you—even if you are open enough to share.

Rule #3

• Try not to think negatively too quickly

There is something called ‘going with the flow’. Take some time to have a social life that exists outside of that person. If, for some reason you want to spend time or hang with the person and he/she cannot accommodate your schedule, try not to rush into thinking pessimistically. This is not beneficial to you, the other person, or the growth of the relationship. Too often people succumb to a negative and destructive mindset that guides them to think that the person they are getting to know is seeing someone else or acting inappropriately in regards to their new found relationship. One might surmise that some people subconsciously thrust their cultural values and religious beliefs upon the other person, while in the same breath expect the individual to adapt without some repercussions. This situation cannot lead to a productive or understanding relationship of any kind and tends to breed hurt and miscommunication. Don’t let this be you.

However, even if the other person, who is seeing someone, you should find something else to do with your time, so as not to compromise the relationship you are trying to establish. It is noteworthy that not only do you demonstrate independence, but you also demonstrate self-control. If you are meant to be with that person, it will happen. No one likes a needy person in any form.

The question of checking in, should one check in? It depends. Checking in at times can function in two ways, if you can send a message that you are interested as well as a good communicator. This is a good trait to have since most people like communication, however, try not to be overbearing. If you call and you get the person’s voicemail, leave a pleasant message, then hang up and allow the person time to return the call, no one likes to be hounded, especially in the early trials of interaction. Such conduct can be interpreted as controlling or needy tendencies. However, we are only human, and naturally get anxious when not receiving enough communication from those we are emotionally attached to at any level. As oppose to thinking ill thoughts, use your time to address the areas or activities, which makes you a better person or completes you and that means having a life outside of that person.

Rule #4

• Never assume, always communicate your feelings.

Although, there are no cardinal rules for getting to know someone, honesty and direct communication are a good recipe of practice, if one is to establish a viable relationship. If you are going out on a first date, try not to assume that your date is responsible for paying. Cardinal rule for this is you bring your own money and split the costs. If money is an issue, arrange an alternative or communicate if you are uncomfortable in