Shadow Work for Beginners: Discovering & Healing Your Unconscious Self | A Journey to Self-Discovery, Increasing Self-Esteem & Mastering Your Emotions

By Relove Psychology

How to release what holds you back from living the life you want

 

It can be difficult to accept things about ourselves which we'd rather keep hidden, and often it's tempting to ignore them.

 

Unfortunately, if we do the latter, then we continue our self-destructive behaviours.

Explore your Dark Side through Shadow Work

 

This book reveals how shadow work can uncover hidden aspects of your personality, heal old wounds, and create lasting positive changes. Get ready to explore the secrets that lie within and learn how to use their power for transformation, better relationships and to live the life you want.

 

Inside you will find topics such as:

• Learn how our unique stories influence our current reality
• Transformational questions, thoughtful prompts & journal exercises
• Rewriting your story - the journey of inner child healing
• Five key strategies for improving your relationships & communication
• Release yourself from the shackles of limitation with empowering new beliefs
• Stop being a victim - healthy strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and overwhelming emotions
• Eight language strategies to master your unconscious mind
• Understand the origins of trauma and how it is processed
• Self-esteem - how it affects your mental health, and how to boost it

And much, much more

Are you ready to start making lasting positive changes on yourself and those around you?

 

Well then it's time to unleash your full potential with this book!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Relove Psychology
• Release date: Jun 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223950776

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Y

ou may often experience a moment when you know you shouldn’t be hesitant, but something’s holding you back. Something’s warning you to step away, or you feel your hackles start to rise. Then, you may ask yourself: What is this I’m feeling? or, Why can’t I find a way to leave this rut? or even, Why am I so angry all the time?

What you may be experiencing is an emotional reaction caused by past trauma or a repressed experience or emotion affecting your ability to deal with a situation. You may mistake it for instinct and accept it as a warning or an excuse to remove yourself from a scenario or opportunity. Unfortunately, you’re most likely relying on the wrong information, thus limiting yourself.

Suppose we take that dreaded fear of standing up in front of a crowd when we usually have no issue speaking to a group of colleagues. Let’s say, for example, you never have a problem getting your point across when arguing a case with your friends. Why is it suddenly different, because you’re now the center of attention in front of 500 strangers? Granted, most of us would be nervous. Still, this specific reaction would seem odd if you’re usually comfortable in front of groups. Your shadow self may be reacting to a memory of you playing a role in Romeo and Juliet in high school. You messed up your lines and had the kids all laugh at you. So, though you probably have a desire or need to be noticed hidden within your shadow, you’ve suppressed it in favor of what experience or others have taught you about it.

Whatever they may be, we all have traits we’re proud of and those we’re not so happy about. Some characteristics may trigger or embarrass us, so we endeavor to hide them from others. They’re part of who we are, our shadow selves, and they long to be seen or heard.

That same shadow contains repressed memories or aspects of ourselves that, when exposed, help us deal with deep-rooted fears, anger, and sadness. It doesn’t mean because we don’t know those feelings are there, they don’t cause us to magnify traits and triggers by suppressing them. The latter can cause apprehension and make us defensive.

Unfortunately, dealing with these repressed qualities isn’t easy. We learn to mask our insecurities and fears, and the latter is often stubbornly opposed to reason or logic. Ironically, we can suppress them for ourselves, but at times, they’re apparent to those closest to us. So, you may ask yourself, why can’t you speak to your siblings and get their observations about you quickly and easily? Sorry to say, it’s not that simple. Those closest to you are only sometimes able, qualified, or impartial enough to help you with your shadow self. They also have their shadow selves to deal with and may misguide you based on their own issues and challenges. Though it can be frustrating, you have to work on it yourself. But that’s the good news.

You’re not helpless to do anything about it. You can learn how your shadow shapes your personality, impacts your relationships and how it’s active in your day-to-day life. At Revolve Psychology, our team of experts specialize in recovery from trauma, and we pride ourselves in the psychological solutions we offer our clients. This book’s primary purpose is to help you get in touch with all the parts of yourself, including those you’ve repressed or may refer to as your dark side.

Suppose you’re open and honest with yourself and want to heal self-sabotage or mental blocks that prevent you from getting what you want. In that case, I’ll show you how to shed light on your shadow and be the best version of yourself. In turn, you’ll have to be intentional about noticing your reactions. And you’ll need to keep a logbook or journal so that when you see intense reactions, you can look at them, identify where they come from, and then jot them down. It’s about how you can manage it and is all part of self-awareness.

Self-awareness is about seeing ourselves clearly for who we are in all aspects. If we do, we’re more confident and more creative. Our decisions and relationships improve substantially, and we communicate better. We’re less likely to deceive others and, most importantly, ourselves.

Being self-aware is also about knowing our own values, passions, and aspirations. It’s about how we fit in with our environment, our reactions, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses, and how we impact others.

We only sometimes learn from experience, and our expertise doesn’t help us avoid misinformation. And just like experience can give us a false sense of confidence, it can result in overconfidence, especially about our self-knowledge. Similarly, the more status we have in life, whether in our families, marriages, or careers, the more likely we’ll overestimate our skills, abilities, perseverance, and happiness.

It’s all about asking yourself what you really want and are willing to face about who you really are. Who do you need to become to get what you want?

Knowing your inner child and what you’ve hidden in your unconscious mind will help you accept yourself and build your self-image. It’s all part of discovering who you are. To help you along, I’ll include various exercises which will help you reveal your shadow self. It’ll require you to evaluate the times you overdo things and why you do so. You’ll also have to look at what drains and boosts your energy, amongst other things.

Then I’ll also show you how to flip your script and remind yourself of your positive qualities. Especially since people develop a lot of positive attributes because of the negative traits hidden within their shadow selves. For example, you may fear being incompetent but have developed an exceptional eye for detail, can work very deeply, and are self-aware. Of course, you’ll then need to know what your values are.

But, as is often the case with working on ourselves, shadow work can take time. We’re all different, and once we have dealt with one part of our past, we’ll find another to work on. Persevere through; it’s so worth it. You’ll feel better integrated as a person and will have improved interactions with others. It’s about growing and can include building good habits, taking care of yourself, and learning new skills. Shadow work is primarily related to these actions and isn’t just a nice thing. It’s essential for achieving your goals and developing your personal and professional life.

You might want to reduce anxiety, quit bad habits, try new things, or improve your self-esteem. Or, you could get that promotion or improve your professional reputation. Either way, you’ll improve your relationships, be better at communicating with those closest to you, and know yourself as the exceptional individual you are. It’ll have a positive impact on your mental health. Consequently, you’ll deal more effectively with your thoughts and emotions. And, if applicable, you’ll heal any generational trauma, helping you meet your needs and knowing yourself properly.

Whatever your shadow work reveals, you’ll accept yourself better. When you do that, your fears will become what they are; a fictional representation of an illogical thought that limits your ability to act or thrive.

CHAPTER 1

YOUR SHADOW

B

efore we can work on your shadow self, you need to understand what it entails. It’s straightforward, though, because your shadow is the hidden part of yourself. It’s often referred to as your dark side because, in popular culture, it represents those negative traits, such as rage, envy, greed, selfishness, and the desire for power or control. We could even link it to that side of us being guilty of what the Roman Catholics call the seven deadly sins.

Sadly, we often associate our hidden selves with negative characteristics, and that’s wrong. We hide positive traits for various reasons. But mainly, we do it during our early childhood. Sadly, that's when we begin cutting off parts of ourselves, the best characteristics; for example, courage, generosity, and compassion. We obscure some of these parts because we find integrating them into our everyday lives challenging. After all, it’s highly dependent on our environment. Suppose we need to get acceptance or approval from our families, friends, and teachers. In that case, we do everything we can to appear normal. It’s our human inclination to fit in, especially during childhood.

In reality, we can’t delete parts of ourselves. They don’t disappear