Causes and Cure for Divorce and Remarriage

By Okee O. Godspower

The book titled the “Causes and Cure for Divorce and Remarriage” is a divinely inspired writing with a direct mandate to bring succor and solace to hurting families on the way to breakage or brink of collapse. It X-rayed the root and remote causes of divorce in a pragmatic expository manner, exposed the Danger of Divorce, explains the Anti-divorce pill, and proffered solution in such a simplistic way. I remembered some years ago that I had an encounter with a couple who had filed-in for divorce in the Law court and was close to the final hearing, I gave each of them a copy of the original pamphlet having some of the contents of this book and after reading and praying, the family was reconciled, the case withdrawn and the root cause of their problem which was childlessness was eliminated as the family got blessed with a girl child after their renewed unity. God has not changed. As you read, believe and your family will be blessed. Even the unmarried need to go through this piece before they venture into marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9781669870678

Book preview

Copyright © 2023 by Okee O. Godspower.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 03/25/2023

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

851959

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

FOREWORD

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

THE DIVORCE DILEMA

DEADLY CAUSES OF DIVORCE

CONSTANT STRIFE

WEALTH AND RICHES

CHILDLESS MARRIAGE

GREEDINESS

SELFISHNESS

DESIRE FOR INDEPENDENCE AND FREEDOM FROM CONTROL

SPIRITUAL MANIPULATION

IN-LAW INCURSION

LISTENING TO BAD ADVISERS

POLYGAMISM

UNNECESSARY SEPARATION OF PARTNER

OTHER FACTORS THAT ENCOURAGE SEPARATION

UNCONTROLLED TEMPER

THE DANGER OF DIVORCE

YOUR ACTIONS THAT DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE

FEAR OF SUFFERING AND FUTURE

MARRIAGE WITHOUT COMPLETE DOWRY PAYMENT

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN DIVORCE

WINNING THE HEART OF YOUR PARTNER

WHAT’S YOUR VALUE OF THAT HEART

MYSTERY OR MISERY

YOU NEED TO LOVE FIRST

THINGS WOMEN DO THAT DESTROYS THEIR HOME

THINGS MEN DO THAT DESTROYS THE HOME

FINANCIAL CONTROLS

HOUSE CONTROL

COURTSEY

CONTROL:

HOT TEMPER OF HOLY TEMPLE

HABIT CONTROL

THE INTERPERSONAL TRANSMISSION OF LOVE

THE FAMILY COMMUNICATION PYRAMID

TRUE CONJUGAL LOVE

UPBRINGING

SEXUAL BELIEFS

KEEPING THE FAMILY BOND BY LOVING ALL THE CHILDREN

MISCONCEPTIONS OF LOVING THE CHILDREN:

THE EXPRESSION OF LOVE FOR CHILDREN

VERBALIZE YOUR LOVE

ACTIVATE YOUR LOVE

DISCIPLINE: AN ASPECT OF LOVE

FAMILY HEALING THROUGH LOVE

KEEPING THE LOVE STREAM FLOWING

FRIENDSHIP, FELLOWSHIP AND FIRMNESS

FOLKSY, FORTITUDE AND FANCY

FERVID, FELICITY AND FAVOUR

FLORISHING FEEDING AND FACIAL MESSAGE

FAITHFULNESS, FIDELITY AND FEAR OF GOD

HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE?

WHEN TO SAY I LOVE YOU

LOVING WHEN THE GOING IS GOOD OR BAD

THE SECRET OF UNDERSTANDING YOUR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AND MOTHER-IN-LAW

MY HUSBAND LOVES HIS MOTHER MORE THAN ME

MY HUSBAND’S MOTHER CONTROLS HIM A LOT

I CAN’T HELP THINKING OF DIVORCE

I HEARD THAT MY MOTHER IN-LAW IS WICKED

MAYBE SHE IS A WITCH

MY HUSBAND IS MY PROPERTY

HE DOESN’T CARE FOR CURTESY

THE SECRET OF UNDERSTANDING YOUR SON-IN-LAW AND IN-LAWS

I WILL REVENGE

THEY SAY, MY IN-LAWS ARE HOSTILE

MY WIFE’S PARENTS CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES

MUST I RESPECT MY IN-LAWS?

WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS IF I BEAT MY WIFE?

LET THEM HEAR ME, I AM NOT A COWARD

I MUST COMMENT

IS IT A CRIME TO PROTECT MY CHILD?

EXTRA-DEMANDING ATTITUDE

PETER AND HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW

THE INTERPERSONAL TRANSMISSION OF LOVE

ANTI- DIVORCE PILL

SELF-WATCH YOURSELF

WATCH OVER YOUR EYES

WATCH WHAT YOU SAY

WATCH YOUR ATTITUDES

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to God Almighty and to your family that is experiencing a phase in need of divine intervention.

FOREWORD

BY: IDOWU JINADU

God is the author of marriage. Divorce is forbidden in the Bible. It is an anathema. It is against the laws of God. What God has joined together, no man for any reason should put asunder.

This little book is a precious treasure to prevent the heartaches that arises because of divorce. Divorce, it must be emphasized, is a curse that can be avoided. Hence, one must pray well before dabbling into marriage. If you are already married, stay where you are. Don’t give excuse to leave your spouse.

The Causes and Cure for Divorce is a book every Christian should not just buy and put on the shelf, you must know, practice the instructions and even teach others that GOD HATES PUTTING AWAYS in the area of marriage. Remember a family that prays together, stay together.

May the Almighty God, the example of perfect unity, unite you family in His kingdom none will be found wanting in Jesus name.

PREFACE

I was born into a polygamous family, my parents got separated for a long while and it metamorphosed into a local divorce while I was a teenager. The resultant experience was very sordid, that kept me thinking over and over again. As I grew, I found myself developing a sense of vision, mission and passion for families passing through this dilemma and that gave birth to the writing of this piece.

The complex problem of divorce has very simple solutions which this book unveils. Although I released the first writing in a pamphlet, this book has incubated for over time and I am very grateful to God for passing me through the relevant school for my training. The effort, patience and strong understanding of my dear wife, Mrs Okee Nkechi Constance is acknowledged with her inspiration during the making of this book. I cannot but acknowledge a few amongst many for their support and prayers, My Siblings, Elder Ezonbodoh Yahaya Okee, Apostle Henry A. Okee, HRH, Hon. Alawei B. Okee, the King (Amadaowei III) of Adagbabiri town, Engr. Kingsley Okee, and all my sisters too numerous to mention with all my other relatives and the Ekiyors which includes: Elder Stanley Ekiyor; Engr. Theo Ekiyor; Dr. Chris Ekiyor and the Okafors; Ugochukwu Okafor, Chibuike Okafor and their sisters, deserving my profound gratitude. My appreciation also goes to my lovely kids; Okee Oyinkro Godsmarvel, Okee Oyinlayefa Godsmerit and Okee Oyindenbofa Godsmajesty. Dr. Efe M. Moses, Mr Uche Ogoh, Mr Onowu Patrick, Pst Peter Oyenubi, Mrs Daniels Pelumi, Mr Francis David cannot be left out.

INTRODUCTION

Many women are lamenting today, the men are crying too and it is no longer secret, why? the Family structure is under attack. Families are breaking fast and easily like falling fresh eggs. Divorce is spreading like a wide fire and is consuming many homes, even that of great men and strong believers are not spared. Advocates for divorce are hinging their strong reasons on the fact that the spade of molestations and spousal abuses are too rampant to be tolerated, claiming some have lost their lives in such marriages because they were holding on to the traditional belief that divorce is not allowed, so, THE RATE OF DIVORCE IS GETTING ALARMING! AllAfrica.com of June 24th, 2012, the date I had my first daughter in a fourteen year marriage, had this headline Lawyers lament high rate of divorce in Nigeria, reading further it said that some lawyers in Lagos become passionately concerned over the rising cases of divorce in the country. They posited that poverty, lack of love and desperation were the key causes of divorce.

Although I couldn’t lay my hands on specific data on the above issue in Nigeria, I was able to get the data from the UK Guardian blog that the number of couples getting divorced in England and Wales in on the increase by 4.9% from 2009 to 2010. Indicating a divorce per every 1000 married population. A rise from 22% of marriages that ends on their 15th wedding anniversary since 1970 to 33% in 1995. With the highest number of divorces among men and women taking place between ages 40 to 44 in 2010. While the Office for National Statistics stated that by 2020, 102,438 opposite-sex divorces and 1,154 divorces same-sex couples took place. Also found was that in the same year, the median duration of time for these divorces to take place was 11.9years for opposite-sex couples and for same-sex divorces, it was 5.4 years for male couples and 4.7 years for female couples.

In the USA, the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention stated that in 2020, 1,676,911 marriages took place while 630,505 divorces took place.

Divorce was never God’s remedy for aching marriages. Those who got into same sex marriages would have felt or made others feel that that is the remedy to the complex problems of the conventional marriage but the data showed that divorce occurrence is more with the same sex marriage. This book seeks to draw out from the originator of marriage, the ageless solution to the malady of divorce. As you open it, don’t drop it until you dig out the secret from the Lord The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law Deut.29:29.

THE DIVORCE DILEMA

Divorce! Divorce!! Divorce!!! This is a word couples will never appreciate being mentioned on their wedding day. They don’t even dare to mention it during courtship but not too long after marriage, it becomes a popular word. I will advocate that it should be one of the basic and first subject of discussion among intending couples before any marriage is contracted, the issue of divorce must be discussed, either during courtship or before the payment of bride price.

Recently, I read of a thirty year old marriage of very prominent individual I hold in high esteem, I kept wondering, how did he let his marriage slip out of his hands, what went wrong that his marriage just collapsed and I was disturbed. While musing over this I got to know of another great world class preacher that I also hold in great reverence and had him for a model in outreach. I had been nursing the desired to meet him in person someday, guess how I felt when I heard that this preacher was at the verge of divorcing his wife. For whatever reasons, after three decades of sweet marriage, what went wrong? Is it that they just took their marriage for granted? What a world! Over-time, work and extra-dedication to work whether secular or ministry, whether for humanity or towards divinity has severally severed the strength of many relationships. Gradual neglect of the marriage vows often leads to gradual untying of the nuptial knot.

God hates putting away! Your preaching activities must not substitute for your husbandly responsibility as it can lead to divorce. You cannot be busier than God, he was never divorced with His spouse Israel, speaking figuratively, despite Israel infidelity and affiliation with other gods at one time or the other, God still loved her and kept calling after her.

Divorce is an epidemic syndrome that runs through all races, continent, nations, nationality, or language. Many factors have been proffered as the causes of this ugly trend. Research has also been made corroborating several claims. In Ethiopia, the National family and fertility survey conducted by the government revealed that out of 8,757 women between ages 15 years and 69 years which were analyzed, 5,838 of those women had experienced divorce within the 1st to 5th year of their marriage while 45% of 1st marriages in Ethiopia end in divorce within 30 years of marriage. Relating this to other