The Atlantic

When Partnership Is Not the Destination

In a society designed for romantic couples, singlehood can be seen as an unwelcome circumstance. For some, being single is not a matter of rebellion, but an irrefutable nature—worthy of its own social standing.
Source: Rudolf Dietrich / Ullstein / Getty / The Atlantic

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In a society dominated by romantic couples, it can be hard to accept your unpartnered state for what it is. But for the “single at heart,” the desire for partnership is nonexistent—replaced with a sense of self-sufficiency, satisfaction, and robust friendships.

In this episode of How to Start Over, we explore misconceptions about singlehood and what explains a broad perception of it as an unwelcome fate. We also talk about how social and economic structures orient themselves around couples, and discuss arguments for why stigmas against solo living and single life are long overdue for a change.

This episode was produced by Rebecca Rashid and is hosted by Olga Khazan. Editing by A.C. Valdez and Claudine Ebeid. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado. Engineering by Matthew Simonson. Special thanks to managing editor Andrea Valdez and Adrienne LaFrance, executive editor of The Atlantic.

Be part of How to Start Over. Write to us at howtopodcast@theatlantic.com. To support this podcast, and get unlimited access to all of The Atlantic’s journalism, become a subscriber.

Music by FLYIN (“Being Nostalgic”), Timothy Infinite (“Rapid Years”), and Matt Large (“Value Every Moment” and “The Marathon Will Continue [For Nipsey]”).

Click here to listen to more full-length episodes in The Atlantic’s How To series.


Khazan: Hi, I’m Olga Khazan, staff writer at The Atlantic.

Rashid: And I’m Rebecca Rashid, a producer at The Atlantic.

This is Today, we’re talking about starting over as a single person—whether you are single by choice, or not so much. We’re going to explore why singlehood is often portrayed as a worst-case scenario, the economic and social barriers to living alone, and how to rethink what it means to be emotionally satisfied

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