The Perfect Blend: A Practical Guide to Building Strong Blended Families

By BERNICE T. JOHNSON

Bernice and her husband Michael raised their three children as a blended family in their nearly 30 year marriage. Although Michael transitioned to heaven in 2012, youll hear Bernice talk about how Michael led his family graciously and how he loved and provided a close knit environment for them to flourish.

Bernice opens up about their familys ups and downs and how through prayer and perseverance, they were successful in their goal to blend five people together as one unit. This book was written to be a helpful tool to mothers, fathers, foster parents and other relatives who are part of a blended family. By grasping the information in this book and using it for groups or on an individual basis, the reader will find helpful, effective ways to strengthen their blended family. She is confident that anyone who truly trusts, who knows how to love, and will put in the work can win over any obstacle and against all opposition. Bernice is continuing the ministry work which she and her husband shared in preaching and teaching the Word of God. She is an example of living holy, exemplifying compassion, and walking by faith. Her motto is Ill never give up on anyone, because God has never given up on me.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493172184

BERNICE T. JOHNSON

MINISTER BERNICE T. JOHNSON Bernice holds an Associate Degree in Mental Health/Social Work from Oakland County Community College, Auburn Hills, MI and was an honor student, as she continued her studies to Senior Year in social work, at Marygrove College in Detroit, MI. She earned a diploma from Word of Faith (WOF) International Christian Center’s School of Ministry, where she graduated Magna Cum Laude and was licensed and ordained by Bishop Keith A. Butler, founder of WOF International Christian Center. Bernice has also held a cosmetologist license by the State of Michigan Bernice began ministering alongside her husband Michael in his first pastorate in Detroit, Michigan, as well as his pastoral assignments in Georgia, California, and his final assignment as Senior Pastor of Word of Faith, Jackson, Mississippi. She continues today to lead others through prayer groups, evangelizing, encouragement through the Word of God and her gift of compassion. Bernice has written a book “The Perfect Blend” and plans to assist blended families through group sessions and workshops, as she also continues to lead many to Christ through her preaching and gently sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ wherever God opens the door. Contact for further information or speaking engagements: Email: [e-mail] Web site: soon to come [phone]

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by Bernice T. Johnson.

Library of Congress Control Number:         2014902574

ISBN:         Hardcover         978-1-4931-7219-1

         Softcover         978-1-4931-7220-7

         eBook         978-1-4931-7218-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The HYPERLINK "http://www.zondervan.com/" Zondervan Corporation.

Rev. date: 08/27/2014

Xlibris LLC

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www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Definitions Of A Blended Family

Chapter 1 Brought Together For Our New Beginnings

Chapter 2 Our Story

Chapter 3 A Blend Of Different Ingredients

Chapter 4 Too Deep Too Soon!

Chapter 5 Your Child’s Impact On Your Decisions

Chapter 6 His Kids My Kids (Where’s The Love?)

Chapter 7 Money Matters

Chapter 8 Building Self-Esteem In Your Children

Chapter 9 Staggering Statistics

Chapter 10 Family Redefined

Chapter 11 Blended Families In Scripture

Chapter 12 Children Acceepting Stepsisters/Stepbrothers

Chapter 13 God’s Grace Upon Our Family

Chapter 14 Discipline, Possible Conflict In A Blended Family

Chapter 15 Financial Provision

Chapter 16 His Plus Mine Equals Ours.

Chapter 17 Relating To The Non-Custodial Parent And Relatives

Chapter 18 Helping Your Child Cope With A Parent’s Rejection

Chapter 19 Understanding Different Family Traditions

Chapter 20 Controlling Unhealthy Relationships And Emotions

Chapter 21 Communication

Chapter 22 Recognizing Your Child’s Grief

Chapter 23 Keeping It Positive

Chapter 24 Adopt Or Not?

Chapter 25 Identifying Red Flags

Epilogue

About The Author

Dedication

Dedicated with all my love to my late husband Michael

and to our three children

image001.jpg

Chaka left, Jasir center, Michelle right

Bernice & Michael

Blended families are created in many ways including death, divorce, and single parenthood by choice just to name a few. We are rarely, if ever, given the guidance necessary to establish a healthy and successful traditional family, much less a blended family with all of its inherent complexities. Being able to observe Michael and Bernice Johnson’s blended family dynamic was instrumental in level setting my expectations where blended families were concerned.

Suffice it to say, I too am a member of the family of blended families. For me the Johnsons demonstrated how a strong and united core was essential and required in order to overcome the challenges. If you knew nothing else, you knew that when presented with the worst, this God fearing couple would face it together and had committed themselves to doing the hard work for the long haul.

By example, the Johnsons taught the value of establishing your home in love and discipline. To expect no applause or accolades; to develop a thick skin; and to remain undeterred. Further, to focus on establishing and maintaining an environment for your spouse and children that fostered honesty in communication; provided an emotional safe house; provided unwavering support rooted in love; and room for your flaws.

Prior to Pastor Johnson’s transition, when all was said and done, I saw a couple who had victoriously weathered the storms. They had raised their children, were enjoying their grandchildren, and most importantly enjoying and loving each other like giddy teenagers and best friends.

Blended families are not like those of sitcoms where problems are presented and solved in nice neat packages in less than 30 minutes. Our families are complex; they are beautiful; and they are worth it.

Tammela Gilbert, MS PMP

Macomb Township, Michigan

As a sister Bernice and I have had a close bond with each other and with our siblings who together, make up our own blended family. From our early childhood on, we lived quite cohesively through the events that established us as this unique family structure. I can say firsthand, these relationships are meaningful and purposeful despite some of us having the same mother but different fathers, while a few of us had the same mother and father. My personal experience and the varied experiences of others make up the plethora of blended families in our society. I am therefore thankful for the writing Bernice has provided in this unique, one of a kind story of her blended family. Her very relatable details are a narrative of her own personal experience in a blended family. This writing pulls you into her world, yet serves as a catalyst of the How To and What Not To Do in situations that are common place to the interactions of all blended families.

Anyone reading this book will feel inspired and those experiencing any struggle within their own blended family will immediately have firsthand solutions providing them with expedited problem solving techniques. Bernice has certainly succeeded in writing a delightful, practical guide that will benefit the reader, and hold their interest from cover to cover. True to form, our childhood experiences; that of a blended family, were actually the result of our parents merging their complicated lives together and raising his/hers theirs as one strong family unit. We have our parents to thank for establishing a platform of love and acceptance within a blended family. The lessons of unity among family has resulted in our having a large closely knit family even today. As adults we are continually engaged with one another’s lives and still enjoy spending time together as much as our busy lives and geographic divides allow. It is my hope that the reader will concur with me, that attention to this subject is long overdue… and yet Bernice’s well thought out contribution is appropriately made available in a timely manner. I love her compassion and tireless fight for family still today. She has always desired to use her experiences to enrich the lives of others who find themselves struggling while dealing with similar circumstances which she has already walked through and worked out. She is a role model for dealing successfully with both the difficulties and how to achieve the joys of cohabitating in today’s blended family.

Olivia Robinson, Founder

Designed For You

Cary, North Carolina

As a child growing up in a blended family I didn’t really understand its benefit or consequence. As a 40 yr old adult I now see that if done properly the blend will be so fine that the substance (the people) will truly become one successful family unit. When this happens there will be no lumps or residue left which reveals the family was ever separate. I value my father and mother for each raising ‘per se’ someone else’s children. I’m excited because it showed me that NO MATTER how much my flesh wanted to be what my bloodline said I had to be, I could be different. So I was able to be like my Dad who raised and covered me, versus being like the man whose seed birthed me but was never a father to me.

Jasir E. Adeyemi

Our Only Son

Southfield, Michigan

A blended family is definitely a challenge as would be with any meshing of several individuals. The key things which