One would think that being on the birth certificate of your newly born child would be enough to deem you their parent, it is…..if you’re a straight couple.   For gay couples, one parent often has to legally adopt their child even if it’s that child shares their DNA. This is a process called second parent adoption and is a common but frequently misunderstood process that many gay couples experience when growing their families. Today, I’m talking with Genevieve Jaffe about her and her wife’s personal experience with creating their family through reciprocal IVF.    Gena is a lawyer and founder of Connecting Rainbows and she now advocates for others going through this process and provides legal support for the LGBTQA+ community. We talk about the legal complexities for reciprocal IVF, technical things to consider before starting the donor process, and look at the unique perspective of the donor conceived community. This conversation opened my eyes to second parent adoption which I had no clue about  - and apparently I am not alone, few couples know it's something they should do to protect their families. I highly encourage you to take a listen!   IN THIS EPISODE:   [03:42] Genevieve’s story of meeting her partner. [07:25] Learning the legal implications for reciprocal IVF and navigating the complexities of creating children in the gay community. [13:29] Gena’s and her partner’s fertility journey.  [19:29] The decision process of choosing a sperm donor and parenting based on things learned from the donor conceived community. [27:55] Technical things to consider before starting the donor process and how to include the donor in the part of your narrative. [32:57] How donor conception has changed what family means to Gena.   KEY TAKEAWAYS:   Second parent adoption is a very complicated and frustrating legal thing that some parents have to face due to their sexual orientation. Some states require home tests, look at financials, or interview couples - it can be very invasive. There is a misconception that a birth certificate is an administrative document of government laws of the state. But it is not a legal document.  It’s recommended to do hormone testing before you start the donor process. There are at-home tests that you can do to start tracking your cycle, estrogen and progesterone levels. It’s best to have as much information as possible before you go to your first appointment.   Resources:   https://instagram.com/genajaffe   https://instagram.com/connectingrainbowsorg   https://connectingrainbows.org/   BIO: I’m Gena Jaffe (she / her), founder of connecting rainbows.   We connect LGBTQ+ families with attorneys and fertility specialists all over the US and Canada to make it easy to start, expand, and protect your family.  Our experts are all selected for their knowledge, advocacy, and compassion, so you can feel comfortable starting these – sometimes challenging – conversations in a welcoming, judgment-free environment. We also provide you with a dynamic, ever-growing library of resources, interviews, and blogs to help you understand and navigate these complicated and important topics.  Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community comes with enough hurdles – keeping your family together and safe shouldn’t be one of them. I found an incredible community on Instagram where I was able to connect with other families going to RIVF.  I felt like I was part of something sacred.  It can be scary going through this process alone – so we have an ever-growing blog featuring real LGBTQ+ families who share their coming out stories, fertility, pregnancy + parenting experiences so you can feel connected as well.