Broken by Life, Mended Through Christ

By Becky R. Johnson

Are you living your best life or are fear, anxiety, worry, regrets, and resentment stealing your peace and joy? Are fear, self-doubt, and a low self-esteem keeping you from pursuing your desires and dreams? Do you feel a need for something to satisfy a void in your life, but you're not sure what it is?

I invite you to come along with me on a journey to healing the brokenness that is keeping you from receiving all of the gifts our heavenly Father has given us to live an abundant life filled with peace, joy, and contentment. Learn to let go of false perceptions and negative labels about yourself and how to stop negativity before it influences your thoughts and actions. Uncover the beautiful, capable, worthy, and creative soul within yourself that is waiting to fully bloom so that you can run your best race.

God has a wonderful plan for each of our lives and desires to help us find our purpose and destiny. We can let go of the past and confidently move forward into a wonderful new life with Christ through the healing of our souls and the renewing of our minds.

My prayer is that this book will be a blessing to your life by helping you discover just how capable and wonderfully made you are!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098070571

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Broken by Life, Mended Through Christ

Becky R. Johnson

Copyright © 2020 by Becky R. Johnson

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Faith, Trust, Believing

Faith, Trust, Believing

Descending with Hope

Descending with Hope

Descending with Hope

Descending with Hope

Making Amends

Making Amends

Making Amends

1

Reflections

Who do you see when you look at your mirror? Is it someone that you approve of or is it someone that you feel just doesn’t measure up? Do you see beauty or do you see flaws? Do you see yourself as worthy or unworthy, competent or incompetent, lovable or unlovable? Do you see the person you think others see when they look at you? Do you see someone living with guilt and condemnation over past mistakes? Maybe you see the person that others have made you feel and believe that you are. Or do you see God’s wonderful, beloved creation?

Let’s visualize something for a moment. Picture our world with everything man-made removed. Everything left is what God created—majestic mountains, flowing rivers and streams, trees in all shapes and sizes, sunshine, blue skies, clouds, green grass, flowers in an array of colors, rainbows after a nice rain shower, beautiful birds with hand-painted feathers, orca whales, striped tigers, spotted leopards, tall giraffes, unique seashells on a warm sandy beach, and a million more amazingly beautiful creations. My point is that God created beauty, and since he created you as well, you are beautiful!

It wasn’t until I was fifty years old that I started to heal from the misconceptions I believed about myself. When I looked in my mirror, I saw someone who was flawed, was not good enough, was a burden to others, was only as good as those around me said I was, was guilty of making lots of mistakes, fell short of being who she should be, and most likely would always be broken.

I had experienced so much disapproval and rejection in my childhood that I truly believed there was something wrong with me, and it wasn’t acceptable to be me. As an adult, I would spend a good hour to an hour and a half in front of the mirror putting on makeup and forcing my hair to do things that it didn’t naturally want to do. Then I would coat it with hairspray because if one hair got out of place, people would think I looked stupid. And even after all of that effort, I still wasn’t happy with the end result. I spent forty-five years covering up my natural straight brunette hair with peroxide and curling, teasing, and backcombing it until it was puffed up on top of my head. And the higher, the better because it looked terrible flat!

At the age of sixty, I finally accepted and loved myself enough to be the person that God created me to be. As my natural hair color grew out (even with the gray coming in), I was amazed at what a beautiful color it was and how it suited me so much better than the bleached blonde I had thought I had to be all those years to be attractive. What a relief it is to be freed from the prison I had put myself in by having to try to be someone else!

It has been a long journey of learning to believe that I am who Christ says I am that has finally set me free. In John 8:32, Jesus says, And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

I spent the first fifty years of my life believing the negative things about myself that I was made to feel by the comments and actions of the hurting, broken people in my life. And because the enemy (Satan) doesn’t want us to be happy, he will use every opportunity available to reinforce those negative thoughts and feelings we carry about ourselves. I bought into so many lies about myself and honestly believed that I was defective. That it was all internal, just the way I was, instead of realizing it was all external, the result of a broken world. And it’s everywhere! Look at the ads on TV and social media—they make you feel like if you don’t own this or wear that or look like this, then you aren’t as good or you are lacking somehow. The problem with that kind of thinking is that you will never have enough. There will always be something new, something more that you don’t have. You will never be happy and content if you measure your worth by the standards set by this ever-changing, materialistic world.

Those who love money will never have enough. It is meaningless to believe that wealth brings true happiness. (Ecclesiastes 5:10)

But in Christ, I am a winner. If my worth comes from who Christ says I am, I don’t need something more. God’s word is solid and unchanging. You can trust that he isn’t going to change his mind about who you are and what you need in order to measure up. He loves you the same today as he did yesterday and the same way he will tomorrow. You can trust him like no other. He will never stop loving you, and he will never leave you.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

It is the truth that Jesus gives us that should impact our lives, not the thoughts or opinions of another person. Once you finally believe and accept who you are in Christ, you will feel a heavy weight lifted off your shoulders. It is a heavy burden trying to be something or someone you think you have to be in order to be accepted and loved. And it is a burden you will carry alone. Jesus won’t help us to be someone else; he will only help us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

I just recently realized that I have always lived my life as an adapter. I adapt to the things and situations around me. I alter my thoughts and behaviors to mesh with what life sends my way.

I noticed myself adapting while my husband and I were on vacation this past February. The showerhead in the bath of our hotel room was pointed slightly to the side, and I found myself leaning to the right to receive the full stream of warm water. About three quarters of the way through my shower, I decided it was annoying and reached up to see if it could be adjusted. A couple of times when the restaurant server put my plate of food down on the table not quite in front of me, I found myself leaning forward and to the side to eat over my plate. A few weeks ago, I was just starting to pull the cord to fire up our lawnmower to start mowing, and my husband was nearby, so he offered to start it for me. He pulled and pulled on the cord, and it wouldn’t fire up. I told him that it probably needed to sit in the sun for a while and that I could go work on something else for a bit. He asked me if it would start after sitting in the sun, and I told him that yes, that was the normal ritual. My husband said, Well, that’s just not right. This thing is supposed to start on the first pull every time! It’s going back in the shop! There is a sticker right on top of the mower that says Easy Start, but that has definitely not been the case. So I have learned to do what I have to do to make it start for me. Whereas my husband’s attitude is that he is not going to put up with a mower that doesn’t start like it should! These are examples of small things in life that are easily remedied and not a big deal. But what about bigger things that we adapt to, maybe without even realizing we are doing it? And what if these compromises we make are affecting our lives in a negative way?

I started thinking about ways that I have adapted and changed my behavior in the past. For example, altering my behavior to be the person that I must be to keep the peace and feel loved and accepted by someone. I can tell you that it is a lot of work, builds resentment, and steals your happiness in life. And you cannot successfully do it forever. Another example is not discussing issues that are important to you, because you know it will upset your spouse or significant other, and you don’t want to be a burden or cause friction in the relationship. Again, resentment builds as you feel that your feelings and needs are not as important as theirs, and you end up feeling devalued. Agreeing with another person’s opinions and feelings to solidify a friendship or relationship is another mistake that results in your identity being lost and your needs not being met. For years, I have been adapting myself to situations and relationships for various reasons, rather than being true to myself and making choices that would make my life better.

I’m sure that I started this behavior as a child growing up in an environment where I didn’t feel that I had a say in anything, so I learned to adapt to everything that came my way. I remember my mom often saying, It could be worse.

I am finally realizing that as an adult, I have the ability to make changes as necessary to improve my life. With Jesus in me, and for me, I can undo behaviors of the past and replace them with new healthier behaviors that result in peace and happiness in my life.

2

Thoughts

Rather than adapting to everything that comes at us in life, we can make internal changes through a process of renewing our minds to bring more peace and joy to our lives. I believe the most powerful change we can make is in choosing our thoughts. If you want to be filled with peace and happiness, you cannot be filled with negative thoughts. Thoughts control everything else, so in order for change to happen, we must change our thoughts.

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:8,

And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

I will be the first to admit that this is not always easy, and it may require a lot of practice and determination, but when you get this down and experience peace and happiness in your mind, you will want more of it and be motivated to cast off