Weather the Storm Find the Rainbow: Smile It Gets Better

By Connie S. Hill

In 2002, my life changed forever. Within a nine-week period after turning fifty, my marriage failed, I had a major stroke and I was struggling just to survive. This story is about learning to trust and lean on God and his promise. Finding a way to keep hope alive and endure lifes disappointments. For me the challenge was finding a way to pick up all the broken pieces of a shattered life and start over. This is about knowing broken paths in life lead to new beginnings. Patience when standing at a crossroad in life makes a difference in the direction, you choose. I know that Gods timing is the right time because he answered my prayer. He sent an unexpected visitor to my front door in time to save my life. Spiritually and physically, God has healed me. I would like to convey to you by writing this story that you should never let anyone take your desire to live. If anything I write about my personal life helps one person, than I have accomplished what I set out to do.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Sep 29, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477271711

Connie S. Hill

Being a Published Poet inspired me to write something that was personal about my life. In 2002 my life changed forever. Within a nine-week period after turning fifty, my marriage failed, I had a major stroke and I was struggling just to survive. This story is about learning to trust and lean on God and his promise. Finding a way to keep hope alive and endure life’s disappointments. For me the challenge was finding a way to pick up all the broken pieces of a shattered life and start over. This is about knowing broken paths in life lead to new beginnings. Patience when standing at a crossroad in life makes a difference in the direction, you choose. I know that Gods timing is the right time because he answered my prayer. He sent an unexpected visitor to my front door in time to save my life. I would like to thank my friends and family who stood by me during my storm. I am grateful for Gods healing hands. Spiritually and physically, God has healed me. I would like to convey to you by writing this story that you should never let anyone take your desire to live. If anything I write about my personal life helps one person, than I have accomplished what I set out to do. I now reside in a small community located in Central Indiana. I am retired and spend my time with family and friends.

Book preview

Weather

The Storm Find The Rainbow

Smile It Gets Better

Connie S. Hill

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AuthorHouse™

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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© 2012 by Connie S. Hill. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/25/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4772-7173-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-7172-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-7171-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012917365

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

I would like to dedicate this book to my only daughter Jerri Sue Cunnington whom passed away 6/05/10. The day she passed it was storming. It was moments after her passing a rainbow appeared outside of her window. Because of the timing I knew God sent the angels to instill faith in my heart. Weather The Storm Find The Rainbow was not completed yet. It was because of that moment I found a way to be inspired to finish this project. Moments in time soon become memories for us all. Thanks family & friends for your support.

Before I share, my personal story called Weather the Storm Find the Rainbow. I would like to express some of my own personal thoughts. Most of my opinions have come from the personal experience of living through them. Some may even be suggestions that could help when having a difficult time coping with an unforeseen crisis. It is hard to convince someone that their life is going to be ok if you cannot instill some faith & hope in their mind. When a person experiences the feelings that come with a loss in one’s mind that loss will cause feelings involving many different emotions. Family & friends who give their support to someone will help them enhance their coping abilities to deal with the loss. To weather the storms of life it is essential to keep your faith. Without faith, there is no hope and without hope, a person cannot move forward in life. Your belief in God will encourage you to continue on life’s path even when life becomes difficult to accept. It is hard to accept the unpleasant things that happen on a daily basis. There will be times when life will test our inner strength. It is during that time, a person will need family & friends to lean on for extra support while their spirit heals from whatever their loss is. God must have truly loved us because he gave us friends & family so we would not have to be alone. Our family & friends will be the angels God sends to us in the human form in our time of need. Even a stranger who shows up when you need help could very well be working under the guidance of Gods hand.

For me my time of need came when my husband and I separated after twenty-five years together. You have heard many women and men say they loved too much or gave too much in their relationship. To those who have had a relationship end in divorce or a separation it’s a typical statement. I have thought or said the same thing pertaining to my failed relationships’. While insuring another person’s happiness, it is easy to lose your identity and forget who you are. Wanting to impress the person whom you love and doing things their way can change your attitude and appearance inside and out. I believe a person can love someone to the point it destroys his or her own character. This happened to me, I no longer felt like the person I once was, I was unhappy in so many ways. I felt everything that went wrong was my fault. I was afraid of making mistakes. It was the feeling of failure that took away my ambitions. I could no longer identify with the person I was becoming. I recall one time saying to a friend the word divorce to me meant failure. The lesson I had to learn was failure did not necessarily mean it was because of me. Sometimes what happens in our lives is out of our hands. You can only control your actions. If someone decides they no longer what to be with you the best thing is to let them go. When you truly love someone, it is not easy to let go of the dreams that you planned to share. When there is an unexpected loss of a loved one, it can be very traumatic. It does not matter how they leave you the grieving process is something you have to do in order to move on.

To weather a catastrophic event in life it is essential to have a connection with God. It takes faith, hope, and trust to keep a positive outlook when dealing with every day events. Traumatic experiences can send a person into a state of depression. Feeling hopeless and out of control can take your will, sending you down a one-way street of no return to sanity. When a spouse leaves so many emotions can overwhelm you to the point you see no hope in the future. The sad thing is the future has not even arrived yet so who knows what may be down the path of life waiting on you to find. Our dreams still can unfold even if the players change.

In the human form, a spirit is fragile and it can break easily. People’s lives are shattered daily because of events that they may or may not have control over. To be in this world the years I have is truly a gift from God. Now I view life as it being a true blessing; each day I, thank God for the time he has given me to get my life in order. There was a time living was pure misery for me I wanted no part of it. My parents forced life upon me as far as I was concerned because of their choice. I had no choice when I was born. I had become one of the many fragile spirits that was losing the will to live. My thoughts became negative creating a feeling of hopelessness deep in my mind. What remained in my soul was a feeling of emptiness and despair. I was letting personal problems overwhelm me, making it hard to deal with reality. Because of losing the man I adored and loved, I felt everything that gave my life meaning was gone. I was angry over even being born. I just had a hard time finding a way to change things so I could see the light at the end of a dark path.

Sometimes it takes a crisis for us to pause in life, other words, to look at what needs changed. A pending divorce, stroke, and retirement the year I turned fifty changed my life. Dealing with those changes was exhausting to the point it overwhelmed me. Every day was a challenge for me to get out of bed and do something. I was tired of trying to do the right thing for both of us I was afraid of making a mistake. I had to make decisions that should not had been left up to me alone. I almost gave up on living because I was not happy any longer. I remember asking God everyday not to let anything else happen in my life until I resolved some of my troubles. I had too many issues to deal with and things seemed so complicated for me at the time. It made me sad to see everything being destroyed I had worked so hard for. What really hurt was I could do nothing to change it. Now I know without a doubt Gods amazing grace embraced me during that point in time. I would not be writing this today if I had not called out to God to save me. I had to learn to accept Gods will and realize he too was carrying my burdens. He had given to me no more than I was able to withstand. God knew my strengths more than I knew them. Finding the solution to deal with my problems was not easy for me. Walking away from the one person I wanted in my life was the hardest thing I ever did. If I had not closed that chapter in my life, there is no doubt in my mind I would not be here writing about this. I struggled with the unknown during that time and I felt so helpless and out of control. Unfortunately, there were consequences of how I handled my personal problems. Now that I can look back to that time in my life, I shake my head in disbelief. Letting go should be as easy as breathing if it creates chaos in your life. Why I let it bother me at that time had to be because of my feelings and thoughts about my future. Again, I have to point this out it is the moments in life that counts and the future comes in those moments.

Over the years, I have seen it does not matter what kind of storm comes your way it will pass eventually. As long as you include God in your life, it will be ok. Belief, trust and hope will keep the spirit motivated. For me to whether the storms in my life it took a lot of patience and faith. Sometimes we just need to slow down and wait, no matter how painful the circumstance is at hand. Patience is a virtue we all need to acquire when being challenged with life’s troubles. Jumping to conclusion ruins the chances for most people to remain civil. When a person is out of control, they usually say things or do things they would not have done any other time. Many times my spouse said things to me that made me feel I was lacking and then he would say, he never meant it. Unfortunately, you cannot take back words once you speak them. Words seem to etch in your mind when spoken by someone angry. When you demoralize a person, it can be devastating to them in many ways. Hurtful words have the potential to cut deep into a person’s spirit. In life, all it takes is the wrong word to destroy someone’s spirit. When a person becomes upset, the wrong choice of words can end a good relationship. I had to develop patience and tolerance, before I finally started gaining back my direction. Once I learned not to take everything personal, I had insight of where I wanted to go. When I learned to control my feelings, I no longer lived with regrets. I tried not to say anything or do hurtful things that I could not take back. In other words, I thought about what I was doing or saying to another person. To undermine someone’s confidence is easy to achieve by your choice of words. It will destroy a relationship to the point there is no way to save it regardless of what you do. That is what my husband and I did to each other; we used words to hurt each other intentionally. I lost respect for him just because of how he spoke to me. In addition, I said things back to him meaning to hurt him just because he hurt me. Now I always try to choose my words careful, regardless whom I am speaking to at the time. I want to speak to others,