CoParent With Heart

By J C Riojas

Co-parenting after a break-up is difficult. This book is for those who need a new way of existing within this challenging relationship. CoParent With Heart uses mindfulness and Buddhist Principles to guide parents in various aspects of engaging in positive parenting when passion is over.

With about 40% of children being parented by one parent within the primary home and one parent in a different household, this book is highly relevant to the current condition.

In this co-parenting mindfulness handbook, Riojas focuses on the adult relationship between the two parents, which is the foundation for raising healthy children. When parents are getting along well, they can truly focus on providing their children with a higher quality of life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. C. Riojas
• Release date: Jun 1, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393381075

J C Riojas

Jenayalynn was born in Southern California in the 80's. She served five years in the U.S. Navy. She earned her undergraduate degre while serving couples as a divorce mediator. She excelled in parenting plan mediations due to her childhood and her own experienced with divorce and co-parenting. She is now an educator and enjoys helping others to reach their personal goals of family peace in spite of the evolution of their relationships.

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Jennayalynn Combs Riojas

CoParent with Heart

A Detailed Guidebook for Positive Co-parenting

First published by Jenayalynn Combs Riojas 2019

Copyright © 2019 by Jennayalynn Combs Riojas

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

Jennayalynn Combs Riojas asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

Jennayalynn Combs Riojas has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-party Internet Websites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on such Websites is, or will remain, accurate or appropriate.

Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. All brand names and product names used in this book and on its cover are trade names, service marks, trademarks and registered trademarks of their respective owners. The publishers and the book are not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book. None of the companies referenced within the book have endorsed the book.

First edition

ISBN: 9781393381075

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This is dedicated to the R.A.G.Team; the three reasons why it is important to co-parent well. To Romeo Jr., for being a co-parent who is always willing to find the best solution. We have come a long way since our divorce and I am proud of the respect we now have for each other. Finally, Michael, for giving the best advice and being the best father I know in-spite of your childhood. I wouldn’t have learned so quickly without you.

Contents

Introduction

I. LAYING THE FOUNDATION

Creating Your Reality

4 Truths

Phases of Change

Inner Nobility

Yin and Yang Energy

Friendly Awareness

Interdepence

Seven Attitudes

II. THE EIGHT PRINCIPLES OF COPARENTING

.C.ompartmentalize

be .O.ptimistic

.P.rotect

.A.ppreciate

take .R.esponsibility

.E.valuate

.N.ix the Nosiness

.T.eamwork

the .S.tubborn co-parent

Mediation

Final Thoughts

References

Services

Introduction

My lowest point in co-parenting was the day I called my children’s father an insulting name. Immediately, I felt unintelligent and low. That day, I thought about what type of relationship I wanted to have with him. I knew that if I continued on this path, I would cultivate toxicity between us. As quickly as the insult left my lips, I knew it wasn’t a good look. Before my head hit the pillow that night, I decided never to do it again.

The most important decision I made after that was to trust my own heart. I wanted an open emotional floor plan in my blended family. There should be very few walls up, but that wouldn’t be possible if I were stacking bricks. Usually, I would talk myself out of being agreeable and collaborative with him. I decided to go against everything that I already knew about getting along with my ex-husband.

As a child, I was used to seeing parents fight. Fighting with your ex was the ordinary reality, especially his new spouse. The ex woman and the new woman never got along at all. The last time my father, mother, and stepmother were in a room together, it ended because I wanted a picture with my mother and father and my stepmother wouldn’t have it. I didn’t get that photo until my wedding day. The moment presented itself to the three of us in my dressing room, and we took it. I don’t want this for my children. I developed an entirely new mindset around co-parenting because I refused to bring my children up in conflict. I refuse to participate in petty squabbles in front of them. I refuse to be bitter because my children’s father has found someone new to love. I refused to disrespect my children’s stepparent further. I refuse to live in the past.

I wrote this book as a sort of record for myself. It is proof that I did, and still am, doing what my heart desires to do. This book is the culmination of so many years of striving to figure out who I am in relation to my transforming family. It is the answer to the questions, "What am I doing to make sure my kids have a healthy life? Am I living in fear and bitterness? Do my children have life more healthy than I did? Have I grown?

As you read this book, remember that even though your mind has found the path, your heart may refuse to follow. Don’t worry; your heart will catch up.

I

Laying the Foundation

In this section, I will apply The Four Noble Truths of Buddha’s teachings specifically to co-parenting. I hope to point out what you could use as a firm foundation for your approach to this journey.

1

Creating Your Reality

. . .for not authority, but aspiration is the motivator, builder, and transformer of civilization. Joseph Campbel

Congratulations on seeking to create a new reality. It