The Mystery behind Love Attraction Romance

By Bikash Paul

The mystery behind love, attraction, and Romance is an ebook by Bikash Paul, which explores the scientific, psychological, and spiritual aspects of human relationships. According to the book's description on Amazon1, it covers topics such as:

 

• The chemistry of love and attraction
• The role of hormones and neurotransmitters in emotions
• The influence of genes and environment on personality and compatibility
• The stages of love and the factors that affect its longevity
• The impact of culture and religion on romance
• The benefits of meditation and mindfulness for enhancing intimacy

 

The ebook aims to help readers understand the mystery behind love, attraction, and romance, and how to achieve the finest shades of love experiences and avoid disappointments and resentments. It also provides practical tips and exercises for improving one's relationship skills and happiness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bikash Paul
• Release date: Aug 17, 2023
• ISBN: 9798201740474

Bikash Paul

Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and the only thing you have to offer. Bikash Paul from India is a content writer and digital marketer, also working with My Recharge Ayurveda for several years. I helped people solve their problems. My education qualification is MBA in marketing and an HR minor. Writing books is another profession.

Book preview

PART 1: THE WORLD OF HUMAN FEELINGS

1

WHAT IS LOVE

Try the following thought experiment. Try to remember all the people of the opposite sex that made you feel good, and then try to describe what those feelings were. 

No doubt, if you do this experiment, you will be surprised at how varied and different your experiences are. Even in fleeting communication with a person of the opposite sex, a wide variety of emotions can flood you. 

Usually, the whole variety of human relationships is given the general name love, but in fact there are three completely different love feelings that arise between people. These are the feelings:

• passion

• falling in love

• love

Each of these three senses has its own principles of appearance and development. Each of these feelings has its own psychological and physiological basis. It is the confusion with these three senses that is one of the most common mistakes in communication. Now we will briefly explain what these feelings are, and then we will consider each of them in detail.

Passion is a feeling arising from sexual desire. Passion is a continuation of sexual arousal, which is inherent in all animals. Passion is generated by sex, so the main goal of passion is sexual intimacy. Passion is determined by human physiology, and therefore this feeling is experienced to one degree or another by all people.

Falling in love is a feeling that arises when meeting a beautiful person. This or that turn of the head, figure, part of the body, and the timbre of the voice can be very beautiful and attract attention. The surroundings, clothes, hairstyle, gestures, and a certain situation can also attract attention. It is this feeling that photographers are trying to evoke by shooting movie stars and pop stars.

It is also concentrated on fairy-tale characters (Prince on a white horse, Vasilisa the Beautiful). Love, unlike passion, is determined not by human physiology, but by its psychology. In order to be in love, you need to have a certain cultural level of development, and the higher this level is, the better the taste, and the stronger feelings a person experiences. We emphasize that love is experienced not for a real person, but for a character that this person personifies.

And, finally, actually LOVE or, one might say, true love. Love is the communion of souls. The source of love is the human desire for self-expression and creativity. The desire to share your thoughts, experiences, and feelings with the person who can understand and share these feelings. Love differs from passion and falling in love in that there are always two lovers present. It is love that attracts people, and they compose legends about it. It is she who is stronger than suffering, stronger than death. Love is immortal, because it is not connected with the body of a person, but is connected with his soul. 

Each of these feelings has its own rules of development. With a certain behavior of a person, these feelings intensify, with other behavior they weaken or disappear, but the most important thing should always be remembered.

All these three senses are the source of only beautiful and pleasant experiences. If you are faced with suffering or misfortune, then know that you have violated one of the rules of love. Correct your behavior, and you will enjoy both life and love!

2

HOW FEELINGS WORK

When we analyze other people and try to understand their behavior based on our own, we usually get stuck. People behave in ways that we would never have acted in their place. At first glance, all people are very different and it is not possible to understand what they think and feel. Even you yourself, for which you are well-known and understandable, nevertheless, constantly experience the most unpredictable feelings. 

Why yesterday this girl seemed the most beautiful in the world, but today you don’t want to look at her? Why did one date pass in a blur, and touching her hand seemed to be the pinnacle of happiness, and the other, although it ended in a kiss, did not cause much delight, and the kiss itself evoked the same feelings as kissing your own hand? Let's try to figure out where feelings come from, how they are experienced, and what determines their power.

Where do feelings come from When a person has just been born, he does not particularly understand the intricacies of the world around him? If he wants to eat, he screams, if he is frightened, then he cries. Feeling some unsatisfied need, or inconvenience leads to an emotional reaction. If there is a nail in the shoe, then it will reach so that the person will no longer pay attention to everything else. And vice versa, if you properly refresh yourself, then you can calmly smile and enjoy life. Remember, the first source of feelings is the need of the body. In the future, the child goes through the next stage of growing up. He begins to play with his peers and realizes that together it is interesting and fun, but lonely and boring alone. If you are loved, then you are given constant attention, they give you beautiful toys and delicious sweets. If you are considered bad, then they don’t play with you, but they can beat you. Therefore, it is best to be nice, and charming and everyone likes it. Thus, the second source of feelings is social status.

And finally, in adolescence, a person begins to notice that there is something that separates him from others, which is called I, and this strange something is himself. Moreover, relations with this something lead to very strange consequences. It is enough to say to yourself I am a bastard, I am a worthless person, I am a complete nonentity, and immediately life becomes disgusting, and consciousness is filled with exceptionally nasty feelings. So we learned the third source of feelings - attitude towards oneself. Therefore, the best way to spend the day is to eat well, speak to an admiring audience (talking to a dog while holding a sausage in your hands), and say to yourself: Well, what a charm I am, well, I have no strength!.

Human life is always full of various feelings. After all, a person continuously breathes, continuously digests something, chats with acquaintances and strangers, feels himself the smartest and most wonderful, and all this at the same time. Therefore, the feelings that arise here and there continuously mix and fight among themselves.

Here it is necessary to remember an important principle of mixing feelings - the principle of dominance: if two feelings are mixed, then a stronger feeling is strengthened at the expense of a weaker one. Let's explain. 

Suppose the baby lies in the crib and does not experience any special feelings. If you clap your hands now, he will shudder, that is, he will be frightened. If now we take the baby, who is busily sucking his mother's breast, and again clap his hands, he will not flinch, as one would expect, but will begin to suck more vigorously. You can frighten him even now, but the sound must already be much stronger for the feeling of fright to overcome his appetite.

The principle of dominance should always be kept in mind, as it puts enormous emphasis on human relationships. The simplest example. We see a beautiful girl with a small mole on her cheek. According to the dominant principle, a mole will only emphasize the beauty of a girl. Another example. The man is terribly angry. In this case, trying to say anything pleasant for him can finally drive him crazy. 

Thus, when feelings are mixed, the weaker feeling transfers its energy to the stronger one.

When a person experiences weak and petty feelings, they replace each other, and outwardly this does not particularly affect a person. But when experiencing really serious and deep feelings, and love feelings are usually just like that, it affects the entire human body. experiencing. Human life is always full of various feelings. After all, a person continuously breathes, continuously digests something, chats with acquaintances and strangers, feels himself the smartest and most wonderful, and all this at the same time. Therefore, the feelings that arise here and there continuously mix and fight among themselves. Mixing feelings The adrenal glands secrete hormones, muscles tighten, and blood rushes to the face. It turns red or pale, straightens or bends, relaxes, or shrinks. If the feelings are strong enough, then, by carefully observing a person, you can always determine what kind of feelings and what strength he has. 

Experiencing. There is one danger here. Although there are basic manifestations of feelings that are common to all people, they say little about a particular person, and the source of the most complete information is precisely the shades of feelings that are individual for each person. Therefore, in order to learn how to determine feelings, it is necessary to be attentive to a particular person. The easiest way to do this is to observe him in those situations where you clearly imagine his condition and know his feelings. Then later you will be able to identify his feelings in any situation. 

In the following, we will take a closer look at the features that need to be paid attention to.

If you see a person for the first time, then be careful not to make hasty judgments about his feelings. Oddly enough, the same applies to you. Many actions a person does automatically, without noticing them. You may think to yourself that you are angry or longing for that stranger over there, but really you want to continue to sit in a comfortable chair and, having collapsed your stomach on the armrests, slowly sip a cold beer.

So before you start dealing with your love feelings, first check if you have them.

The power of feelings. The main difference between a person who lives a bright and full life, and a gray nondescript personality is the power of the feelings that he experiences. Here, nature played a little trick on man. It would seem that if a person does not need anything, he is full and lies in a soft bed, then he should just be happy. Nothing like that, he will die of boredom (if he does not fall asleep). The strength of feeling is determined by the height of the barrier that a person has overcome. The more a person has passed, the more pleasant the halt will be, the more hungry the person, the more pleasant the food will be, the more difficult the victory is, and the more satisfaction it will bring. In other words, the feeling is born from the tension between the situation you are in and the one you long for.

The more difficulty you overcome, the more you feel experienced. Therefore, set yourself difficult tasks, and you will get feelings of maximum power. Just know the measure, because exceeding your real capabilities will lead to despair and failure. It is best to set yourself tasks that you can realistically solve, but for this, you have to work hard. Therefore, the most stupid thing that a man and a woman who want passion can do is go and have sex right away. The power of passion in this case will be minimal. On the contrary, it should be a burning flirtation with an unpredictable end. A game must be played on inciting and restraining passion to such an extent that both can no longer restrain themselves and tremble with anticipation of the merger. 

Elevation of feeling Another property of feeling is its sublimity. Let's assume that you have something very itchy somewhere. You immediately begin to furiously scrape this place, while feeling some pleasure, which, however, is mixed with an unpleasant feeling of itching. In this case, although the strength of feeling may be great, pleasure is mixed with displeasure here. You are both pleasant and unpleasant at the same time.

All physiological sensations are mainly associated with the release of tension. You feel some tension (hunger, thirst, or vice versa), and you need to relieve this tension. If you try to increase the tension you are experiencing (for example, not going to the toilet for a longer time), you will receive at the same time some increased pleasure and some increase in unpleasant feelings. The disagreement of feelings. We will call such feelings base. 

At the same time, while listening to beautiful music, you can merge with it so much that you completely forget about the world around you, and your soul lifts off the ground and fly higher and higher. 

The whole brain is already involved in this feeling. If at this moment remove the encephalogram of your brain, it will be seen that all parts of your brain work in the same rhythm, in a single harmony. The parts of your brain are aligned. It is on this that the magical properties of music are based. If your entire brain has some feeling, then it is sublime.  It is the elevated feelings that form the basis of happiness. 

To build elevated feelings, you must ensure that neither one little thing did not cause you irritation or anger. For example, if you learn about any luck of a person and feel envy towards him, then you simultaneously dreams (pleasant) of the same success are launched and the realization (unpleasant) that you don't have that success. There is a mismatch, that is, a baseness of feelings. Next to this is added anger at this person (black envy), and at the same time anger at oneself (feelings of inferiority). 

In this case, you can only be sorry. low-lying feelings make happiness in your life impossible. So it's best to uproot the slightest sprouts of mismatched feelings. Another consequence of the frequent experience of base feelings is the occurrence of many diseases. A mismatched brain sends mismatched signals to your body, immune system, and endocrine system. trying simultaneously follow two opposite commands, internal organs stop normal functioning. As a result, you have selected diseases so terrible that your life can become hell.

To help remember these definitions, repeat to yourself: A lofty feeling is when the soul sings, a base feeling is when the heel itches. 

Happy love. Now you can not just say nice words like happy love, but also understand exactly how to achieve it. Happy love is the experience of strong and sublime love feelings. The more often you experience these feelings, the more happiness in your life. In order for your love to be happy, you need to constantly keep it in yourself and carefully grow, as a florist carefully cares for his flowers. But the florist needs certain knowledge, otherwise, his flowers will dry up and get sick. How to care for your love, you will learn from this book.

Let's recap the points to remember:

1. The sources of feelings are: • the needs of the body • social status • attitude towards oneself

2. Feelings are characterized by strength and loftiness. The strength of feeling is born from the magnitude of the difficulties that a person has to overcome. The sublimity of feelings is born from the coordination of the work of the brain departments.

3. Happiness is the experience of strong and elevated feelings. 

Let's try to put this knowledge into practice. We asked two questions at the beginning of this chapter. Why on one date everything was in a fog, and on the other, even a kiss did not please. Now we can already answer these questions.

On one date - obviously the first - the result was unpredictable, and each step towards the meeting required certain courage, so the feelings of luck were very strong.

In the second case, apparently, before the start of the date, the partners were