Effective Forgiveness Technique

By Bikash Paul

Forgiveness means different things to different people. Generally, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.

 

The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

 

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

 

Throughout our lives, we worry, get irritated, offended or feel guilty, and the energy that is not fully used during experiences leaves its traces in our body - emotional blocks. Is it possible to get rid of these consequences of negative experiences? Yes, you certainly may. And the easiest way is to work on your own with the "Effective Forgiveness" technique. This technique has nothing to do with religion - it is a completely psychological and very effective tool for internal purification. Many thousands of people have already used Effective Forgiveness and are grateful to life for what they got as a result. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bikash Paul
• Release date: Sep 12, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215854464

Bikash Paul

Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and the only thing you have to offer. Bikash Paul from India is a content writer and digital marketer, also working with My Recharge Ayurveda for several years. I helped people solve their problems. My education qualification is MBA in marketing and an HR minor. Writing books is another profession.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

A person's true life is one he doesn't even know about.

N. Butler

Why would a normal person engage in forgiveness? It seems to believers prescribed: if you sin, ask for forgiveness, otherwise you will be punished.

And if you are quite a modern person, far from religion, no serious sins you have, then do you need forgiveness?

It turns out that it is very necessary. And it's not about sins.

When you live a completely ordinary life, far from religion or mysticism, go to work, raise children, and so on, then you often experience negative experiences. Sometimes you were deceived, then offended, then insulted, then underpaid - which does not happen in life. And you reacted to it – angry, offended, feeling guilty.

So, all these experiences did not pass without a trace for you - you have unexpected emotions in your body.

And when there are a lot of them, they create the following problems for you:

• Your energy drops, you do not have the strength to take on new cases or to complete the old ones. Your success falls, you fall into a zone of bad luck, which does not go away.

• In places of accumulation of unreduct emotions, diseases occur, and not just one. Doctors treat diseases of the body, and the reason lies in your experiences.

• You again and again unconsciously get involved in conflicts with your long-standing opponents, although on a conscious level you dream of stopping swearing.

• You dream of changing something in your life, but you do not succeed – some forces inside you block your attempts to change something.

• In your head there is a continuous and uncontrolled flight of thoughts, which takes away your strength and distracts you from important matters.

Do you have any of the signs described above or do they all together? So, you urgently need to use techniques to cleanse the body of unreduct emotions.

And the simplest and best technique for this is forgiveness.

But not simple, but Effective Forgiveness, which you will learn about in this book. And you can even start working with it. And at the same time start a new life.

Start thinking

This is not a book where ready-made recipes are given: do this and that, and you will be happy. There are clearly a lot of such books on your bookshelf.

We propose a different approach. The technique you're proposing is called the Intelligent Way, which means you have to first understand with your Mind what to do and how to do it, and only then start doing the exercises.

If you just need a set of recipes, then look for something else. Here you will be made to think.

I apologize to men

The author knows perfectly well that the main readers and users of the proposed techniques will be women. In our and similar countries with highly instinctive populations, women are more open to outside help. They make up 85% of all book readers and participants (participants) of all trainings related to personal changes.

A real man always knows that he already knows everything. Asking for someone else's help immediately lowers his status in his own eyes, he must achieve everything himself and thereby prove his coolness. He can only go to such trainings that are not shameful for the real boy. That is, for business training or for pickup training. And the rest are ni-ni.

And he doesn't read books on personal growth. And he will not engage in forgiveness, even if he is in a complete life ass.

Therefore, I immediately address the book to women - the text will use the endings of words in the feminine gender.

That's not to say that men don't need forgiveness. Need to, whatever! That is, to those of the men who find the strength to read the ideas given in the book and use them – glory! This will be the act of a wise man who puts his real achievements above the male ponts.

I apologize in advance to my male readers for using feminine word endings. Don't pay attention to that, please.

And a little secret to women. If, after reading this book, you realize that your man really needs this book to help him get out of problems, do not dare to stick him a book and advise him to read it. You will rudely attack the sacred – his high opinion of himself. And get a rude answer, most likely. This should never be done in our country!

It's better to just leave this book in the toilet near the toilet, as if by accident. From nothing to do there, he can start reading it and, perhaps, draw the right conclusions for himself.

Perhaps he will consider it possible to read it only in the toilet - do not take it away from there. And don't ask him about the book until he says something himself. This is the best and secretest way to convey the necessary information for males.

And if you have a male male, only with problems, then tear these lines out of the book in advance, so that he does not read them and does not understand that you somehow control him - this can make him immediately throw the book in the trash.

We live in such a country, we have to adapt.

That's it.

Chapter 1. Why we need forgiveness

The ability to forgive is a property of the strong. The weak do not forgive.

Mahatma Gandhi

You'll have to start from afar, be patient.

We are unlucky (or lucky, who knows?) – we live in an era of change. My wife, who is already a grandmother, helps her granddaughter do her homework. Moreover, the grandmother is in Spain, and the granddaughter is in the Crimea, and they communicate via Skype.

Thirty years ago, was this imaginable? And today it is an ordinary reality.

That is, technological progress is moving forward in huge steps. And the consciousness and psychological mechanisms that control the behavior of people remain the same as they were hundreds, or even thousands of years ago.

As a result, an African teenager deftly handles a mobile phone, but lives in a patriarchal family of 50 people, all issues in which are solved in the same way as 200 or 500 years ago.

We have three brains

Over the past hundred years, the new human brain - the Neocortex - has been strongly developed. It is he who generates all the achievements of science and technology. You may have heard that it is divided into right and left hemispheres. The left hemisphere is responsible for our logical, rational decisions, it is our Mind. The right hemisphere is more responsible for imagination, creativity, intuition.

But few people know that neurophysiologists distinguish two more brains in humans, inherited from our ancestors. These are the Limbic Brain and the Reptilian Brain.

The limbic brain is responsible for our emotions, that is, it controls our glands, which, on its command, throw various hormones into the blood, allowing us to feel joy, hatred, or sadness.

But more important is the Reptilian brain – it is he who ensures our survival in case of danger. These are our Instincts.

This brain was inherited from our animal ancestors (apparently, Darwin was still right) and has a very strong impact on the lives of billions of people, although it is not customary to talk about it. We proudly call ourselves Homo sapiens, or Homo sapiens.

In fact, the vast majority of people are Populum instinctu, that is, An instinctive person. Instincts (that is, the Reptilian brain) control the behavior of these people to a much greater extent than the Mind (Neocortex).

It would seem, how is our instinct and forgiveness connected? In fact, one follows from the other.

Homo sapiens

The reptilian brain may not interfere with human behavior, then it (the person) is guided mainly by neocortes and in fact is Homo sapiens.

Where are such people found? Where it is perfectly safe, and the Reptilian brain there is no object for activity.

For example, a person lives in a country with a good economy, where the police, medical, insurance and pension services work perfectly. He has his own home, family, a serious job, a decent stash for the future. Everything is captured from him, he is not in danger.

If there is any difficulty, this person turns to the relevant services and is quickly helped.

He solves all issues through negotiations, it is completely unusual for him to fall into experiences. He just doesn't know how to do it.

The reptilian brain has nothing to do there, and it falls asleep.

Where can such a person live? That's right, he's a resident of Switzerland. Or Sweden, if you like it better. Or some other Nordic countries. He doesn't need any practice of forgiveness.

It's not about you and me, you know. It's about parallel reality.

Instinctive Man

Most people live in very different conditions. A weak economy and a low standard of living, political and economic cataclysms, wars for power or religious beliefs - in such conditions most of humanity lives. Our country, as you know, completely falls into this zone.

Residents of these countries are threatened by many different dangers, so the Reptilian brain takes an active part in the lives of these people.

Such people are called highly instinctive. This is neither good nor bad, it's just that purely rational people would not be able to survive in these conditions.

More precisely, in countries with a low standard of living and a highly instinctive population, there is always some layer of quite wealthy people who have everything captured, and they live to a much greater extent by Reason than by Instincts. (By the way, the rational are usually not the wealthy men themselves, who have to get money in difficult conditions, but their closest relatives, who do not fight for anything, but simply consume the results of their labor.) But the bulk of the population lives at the level of survival, and the Reptilian brain actively helps them to exist.

The reptilian brain manifests its decisions in the form of three innate unconscious programs of behavior, that is, instincts:

– the instinct of procreation,

- Gregarious Instinct,

– survival instinct.

The very names of instincts indicate what areas of our lives they manage. You can read more about Instincts in Chapter 6 of the book The Impossible Is Possible, download it on the www.sviyash.ru website, it is completely free.

Test your instinct

When people hear about instinct, they usually don't apply the concept to themselves. "It's Africans or Polynesians who have something like that, and we are reasonable people" – most people think so.

In fact, things are much worse. Test your instinct on the test below. To do this, read the indicator in the left column, its extreme values in the right column, and in the middle put an assessment of how much you have this indicator manifested.

Control text

Imagine a situation where your child is in an unpleasant situation. He was walking with a group of friends down the street, everyone was slightly drunk. The guys wanted to show their coolness, and one of them threw a stone into the shop window. The display case shattered, they grabbed a few bottles of beer from it and all ran away laughingly. Naturally, your child didn't tell you anything about it.

But it turned out that the showcase was under video surveillance, the police on the record had already found one of the participants in the hooligan antics and were looking for others. And your child finally told you about it, asking for your help. He clearly does not want to go to prison, and just because of such nonsense, you can get a sentence.

What do you do in this situation?

A parent in Sweden or Switzerland will immediately rush to call his lawyer to prepare competently for the trial. Or to an insurance company that will provide you with a lawyer.

And who are you going to call? Lawyer? Or will you begin to frantically remember which of your relatives works in the police, the prosecutor's office, and the authorities? And if there is one, will you call him and ask him to hush up the case?

And, interestingly, if there is one, then he will immediately enter your position and will look for an opportunity to help you. What will guide him in this search? Don't get me wrong? We reveal a secret: they will be controlled by a pack instinct, which always requires helping their own. And the higher your instinct and the instinctiveness of your relative or good friend, the more effort he will make to get your child out of trouble by any means.

That is, what is called the big word corruption is often a common manifestation of the pack instinct that controls our behavior. That is, the Reptilian brain, which requires for the survival of the genus to help their own.

It turns out that until our standard of living rises to such a point that the Reptilian brain believes that everything is good and calm for us, and it can rest, no struggle with the manifestation of this instinct will not give a result. Corruption does not yet have an alternative.

But it's a distraction.

For now, we're going back to unexcreated emotions, if you remember. Where do they come from?

How do emotions arise?

Immediately after birth, the baby has no idea about the world around him. Over time, he begins to understand who he is, what he is, what he can do, what is forbidden to him, and so on.

By the age of 15, a teenager usually has a complete picture of the world, which then expands and is supplemented for the rest of his life.

And what is a picture of the world? These are our beliefs, beliefs, hopes, expectations, ideals about what should happen and how it should happen. How much you should get and how much you should weigh. Who can be loved and who can be fought. Who should be respected and who should be despised, and so on.

We know what should happen and how it should happen. We have strong expectations in this regard.

But lo and behold, sometimes it doesn't add up that way. The child brings the wrong marks. My husband doesn't say the words he should say. Your boss doesn't evaluate your work the way you think he should. Your subordinates do not perform their duties as well as they should. And so on ad infinitum.

That being said, your life as a whole isn't as good and safe as you'd like, so your Reptilian brain is awake all the time and keeps track of everything going well.

And well, that's what you think in your picture of the world, and the Reptilian Brain simply doesn't have its own versions of what's going on.

For example, a manager called you and tries to entrust you with a case that falls within the competence of another employee. You explain to him in a good way that this is not your business at all, but Maria Petrovna,she is well versed in this. And you have your business through the roof. To which the manager tells you something like, Nothing, nothing, you'll figure it out too, go and do it.

What happens at this point?

Your Reptilian brain sees that you have been attacked and forced to do someone else's work. You are in danger, you need help urgently!!

The reptilian brain protects us as best it can.

The reptilian brain influences our behavior in only two primitive ways, but very quickly:

– it either increases the level of arousal of our psyche and thereby creates an additional charge of energy so that we can defeat our enemy;

– or it takes energy and puts us into a state of torpor – when the situation is such that we cannot influence it in any way.

In the case of the obvious injustice discussed above on the part of the boss, your Reptilian brain will transfer you to a state that is commonly called irritation, or even to a state of anger. What for? So that you from a position of strength explain to this donkey-boss that he does not have the right to give you such tasks.

Perhaps, turning into excitement, you will begin to quarrel with the leader, many do.

Others, who are smarter, are holding back. They go to do someone else's work, but the energy excited in the body boils and requires decisive action. And you can not take any action, you have no one to fight with. You mumble curses to yourself, but your Reptilian brain has given you energy to fight to the bitter end. And you didn't use it! After all, you are a well-mannered person, you cannot fight, this is the privilege of the ill-mannered.

Therefore, the excited energy is laid in your body in reserve until the next fight with the boss. This bundle of energy in our method is called the emotional block.

And it's not just some image, it's a very real bodily spasm. In some part of your body, the muscles have contracted and not unclenched, and now they resemble a compressed spring. If necessary, this bodily spring is decompressed and gives the energy stored in it.

This is the uncertified emotion.

Now think about how many times in your life you have experienced anxiety, irritation, anger, rabies, guilt, resentment – all these emotions have left a trace in your body in the form of emotional blocks. The emotion was weak – the