The power of Emotion

By Bikash Paul

"The Power of Emotion" is a compelling exploration of the intricate and profound role that emotions play in our lives. Delve into the depths of human experience as this ebook examines how emotions influence our decisions, relationships, and overall well-being. From the highs of joy and love to the challenges of anger and sadness, this book sheds light on the various emotions that shape our world. Through insightful explanations and practical strategies, discover how harnessing and understanding our emotions can lead to personal growth, improved communication, and a more fulfilling life journey. Explore the captivating landscape of emotions and unlock the transformative power they hold within.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bikash Paul
• Release date: Aug 17, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215898888

Bikash Paul

Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and the only thing you have to offer. Bikash Paul from India is a content writer and digital marketer, also working with My Recharge Ayurveda for several years. I helped people solve their problems. My education qualification is MBA in marketing and an HR minor. Writing books is another profession.

Book preview

How to use the workbook

This book is built on the description of emotions. Each chapter offers a scientific explanation of a particular emotion, reveals the message embedded in it, and also gives practical recommendations on how to get the most out of each emotion. There are different approaches to classifying emotions: the distribution into five main categories (joy, anger, fear, disgust and sadness), the allocation of seven to ten basic emotions, or an approach based on a recent study conducted by Dr. Dacher Keltner and Dr. Alan Cohen, in which they distinguish up to 27 shades of emotion. Brené Brown's study mentions 30 emotions. In my book, I decided to focus on ten. All of them are equally important to us, however, you may have your own preferences:

○ Desire. We will reveal the nature of desire; let us emphasize its difference from hope and expectation; let's distinguish two types of desire that are worth paying attention to; I will offer you ways to cope with the extreme manifestations of this emotion;

○ Tolerance. It is divided into tolerance towards oneself and towards others. We will understand the differences between tolerance and acceptance, talk about how to develop the skill of self-acceptance. You will understand how tolerance relates to empathy and how it can help in establishing close relationships;

○ Happiness. We will discuss how to rebuild your consciousness to improve your quality of life. Let's talk about the seven happy habits and the fact that significant changes sometimes do not require large costs. This chapter concludes with a description of PTR (post-traumatic growth), as well as a discussion of why some people manage to remain resilient and calm after experiencing a tragedy;

○ Sadness. It is often confused with depression. In this chapter, we'll look at the differences. You will learn about the hidden benefits of sadness and understand why this emotion is very important to us. Finally, we will find out how you can learn to build your life in such a way as not to regret anything;

○ Fear. We're going to talk about different types of fear, and there are quite a few of them! You have to take a test and find out what will happen if you let fears prevail over you. You'll also learn about some strategies for taming them;

○ Anxiety. We will find out the differences between fear and anxiety. When is anxiety a natural reaction and when does it turn into a disease? How to deal with this highly ambiguous emotion;

○ Confidence. It can be the result of internal work or formed as a result of a reaction to information coming from the outside world. You will get acquainted with the different types of mental attitudes on which your attitude to your dreams depends, and also learn why self-esteem alone is not enough;

○ Anger. We will look at the advantages and disadvantages of this emotion. How can its power and power be used for good? We will analyze all the options for the manifestation of anger and talk about how to cope with it;

○ Wines. It is one of the most important clues to reveal your true values. We will touch on the difference between guilt and shame. You'll be introduced to the three types of guilt we all suffer from and learn about six ways of self-help;

○ Love. We will discuss six types of love, the three stages of love, and what chemical processes occur in the brain when you experience love, attraction, and a sense of intimacy. You will also learn about what helps love to overcome distances.

You can easily use the information you have received in your life. Keep a diary and write down there all the questions and thoughts that you have, which in the future will help you learn more about yourself.

In the course of working with the book, you will receive tasks such as Write down the next question in your diary .... In this place you should stop and formulate your question sincerely and honestly – do not be afraid, no one will evaluate you!

This will help you become aware of your deep experiences, listen to your intuition and discover something new in yourself.

This book will help you better understand yourself, learn about your strengths and preferences.

But first, you need to know something else. Each emotion has its own characteristics and hidden meaning. To understand what the essence of fear, anger and other complex feelings is, you can use a certain algorithm. Psychologist Paul Ekman and sociologist Yves Ekman studied emotions and their stages. They have developedatime scale that will help us understand how the energy of emotion is distributed. When studying episodes of emotion (especially if they are regular), it would be nice to know that there is some obvious pattern and the ability to predict its development. Here you can draw an analogy with a sports game - its course is sometimes quite smooth, then unpredictably tense. But if there is a way to predict the outcome, the game becomes simple and understandable. By answering the following questions, you will help you understand the situation. The game has begun!

Before the game

It's time to check everything out and prepare. When your feelings start to build up, but the emotion hasn't yet peaked, ask yourself, "How am I feeling? Is my energy at zero? Am I experiencing strong (or not so much) anxiety? What am I thinking about (work, children, health, money, politics)?

I'm hungry, my blood sugar has dropped, or am I just up off the wrong foot?" All these things may seem inappropriate here, but in fact they have a very strong impact on our well-being – physical, mental and emotional, and your reaction to what is happening depends on it.

What are my mental triggers?

Then ask yourself, "How am I feeling right now? What is my trigger? Did this event (job interview, date, presentation) knock me out so much, or was my emotional state influenced by my perception of the world, that is, my attitude to the world (life is easy; life is a struggle; all people are kind; no one can be trusted...)? Maybe some memory is to blame, or is it because of my beliefs, or my emotions are influenced by a specific topic? To check, use the following construction: When __

What is the secret of my physical and emotional state?

This question helps to understand more about the emotion itself. What clues that can be considered harbingers of emotion are given to us by our body (heart palpitations, clenching of hands into fists, tension in muscles)? What changes are taking place in our psychological attitude? Where does anxiety come from; what are the prerequisites for anger? If you had to explain to a friend how you felt, what words would you choose to describe your emotional and physical state?

What are my options?

The information obtained gives us the opportunity to make a choice based on several possible options. We can choose a constructive path. Tell yourself, "My body and my thoughts tell me that I'm starting to get turned on (about this person or situation), so I'm __ This method helps us to act proactively.

There is another option – to choose destructive behavior. It should be remembered that when we decide not to do anything, we return to our previous (usually destructive) patterns. Some people experience all situations within themselves, preferring to suppress unpleasant feelings and not give them an outlet. But the emotions themselves do not go anywhere, they only gain strength and can break out at the most inopportune moment. There are people who demonstrate a violent reaction outside, directing it either to others or to themselves.

So, which way would you respond to an emotion: constructive or destructive? You will have to decide in advance.

After the game

After the emotional shock experienced, there comes a period of calm, it becomes possible to understand what really happened, what sensations are observed in the body and what the consequences may be. By taking the time to think about what happened, we will protect ourselves from a repetition of such a situation. You can, of course, react like this: Everything is over, why worry? But at the same time, we deprive ourselves of the chance to draw the necessary conclusions. This is one of the most important strategies for working with emotions, which can help us to be more prudent in the future.

By practicing the same patterns over and over again, especially if we are constantly caught up in traumatic situations, we run the risk of living a joyless life. Emotions send us signals that it's time to change something. By trusting our emotions and practicing a conscious attitude to the world, we open up the opportunity to live without suffering and have fun. This is the direct path to happiness. Being in touch with our emotions, we gain freedom and the right to independently control our lives.

The study of such topics always has an impact on a person. I noticed that now I am more attentive to emotions in all their manifestations and I understand them better. This is very important, because if there is understanding, then we react more consciously, and this does not allow us to lose our way. I feel like my emotions are my friends, not my enemies. I have gained access to my inner resources and feel free from many of the limitations imposed on me by my ego. I feel a lightness that was not there before, and I also have a firm belief that now I am the rightful mistress of my life, which I sincerely wish to you.

By understanding how to work with any emotion that takes hold of us, we can reach a different level. As John Kabat-Zinn said, You can't tame the waves, but you can learn to ride them. In this book you will find practical tips and recommendations, thanks to which you can get to know yourself better and finally reunite with your true essence: wise, calm, confident and understanding. These qualities are already in you. You just need to find a way to yourself and discover your strength, your talents and abilities. Working with emotions will give you the happiness of being yourself.

1: HAPPINESS

Don't ask what the world needs. Better ask yourself what brings you back to life. The world needs those who have returned.

Howard Thurman

What meaning does the word happiness have for you personally? There is no universal answer to this question. All of us, in fact, need the same thing – happiness, love, to find our purpose, but everyone has their own way. One thing is certain: happiness is the main thing. Joy is a natural state; we came into this world to have fun. Through living happy moments, we understand who we really are. Life appears to us in its entirety, and this gives us the opportunity to release energy in ourselves that we did not even suspect before.

I envision happiness as an umbrella that holds various aspects of our lives under it: joy, gratitude, compassion, intimacy, physical and mental health, generosity, passion, and even charity. That is, we are talking about all spheres of life: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. But most of all, I like that in a state of happiness, our internal resources are multiplied, thanks to which we have the opportunity to live life to the fullest and cope with difficulties. Being happy does not mean knowing absolutely no problems - it means that we have the strength to overcome them. I wish that each of us had enough strength for this - it was then that I created The Happiness Project and decided to write this book.

Let's go on a journey. Imagine that your body is a ship on which you can sail wherever you want.

You are waiting for amazing adventures and acquaintance with new lands. You will remember about what you have long forgotten, and you will learn something new about yourself. Your ship may be covered by a storm, and if the necessary measures are not taken in time, it will leak and may begin to sink. It's just as important to take care of your body. If your ship is covered by a wave of negativity, your physical and mental health will be in danger.

Ships don't sink because of the water that surrounds them; they sink when water seeps into them. Do not let external circumstances consume you and cover you with your head.

The captain monitors the condition of his ship on a daily basis, and you too can develop instructions for yourself and follow it, despite the vagaries of the elements. This action plan will help you stay on top of the situation, pay attention to problems in time, and fix the leak before it's too late. You will learn not to be afraid of waves and maneuver in any conditions.

In this chapter, we will look at the different types of happiness. Let's get acquainted with the provisions of positive psychology on the topic of happiness and well-being, learn how to change your way of thinking in order to make your life better. We will break down seven happy habits and try to make them part of our daily routine. Then we'll talk about how you can recover and live life to the fullest even after an injury. The path to happiness is a fascinating journey that each of us must go on. Let's go!

So what is happiness?

To have all the toys in the world, to buy all the shoes you like and to be the most popular in the company of friends does not mean to be happy. After all, happiness is not determined by the presence of external goods. Although no, it can certainly give you joy, but not for long. Happiness is what fills us from the inside out. And only we and no one else can make ourselves happy.

Did that upset you? Do you feel like you can't do that? In fact, there is nothing complicated here - you just need to put the accents differently. We are born to be happy – this is our legitimate right and natural aspiration. That's right. Everyone deserves happiness, and it is available to everyone.

We do not immediately come to the understanding that happiness depends not on what we have to experience, but on how we interpret what is happening. How we treat certain situations. How do we explain them to ourselves. If you constantly feel like a victim, this book will help you take a different look at the circumstances in which you find yourself, at your usual behavior and think about what could be changed.

A lot depends on us. With our thoughts and beliefs, we build our reality. What thoughts we send to the universe, this is the result we get. When you're offended or angry, you usually face aggression in response. If you are friendly, the world responds to you in kind. At the same time, it is very important to be sincere and take care of what your thoughts are filled with.

It is in our power to get what we want – it is enough just to start thinking in the right direction. What we focus our attention on is amplified, so try to think about the good more often, because everything we need is already inside us: a sense of security, love and much more – and this must be appreciated and developed. We can change the interpretation of unpleasant events (for example: I twisted my leg. To paraphrase: if I hadn't twisted my leg, I wouldn't have had so much free time to think about the fact that I was ready to change jobs, make new friends, move to another city. I think you get the basic idea). Deciding to start thinking about the good, about what you have and what you can acquire, you adjust your consciousness in the right way – and now you perceive the world around you in a different way.

By consciously focusing on what you want (rather than what hinders and limits), you create a strong intention to bring it into your life. By practicing visualization and developing a positive perception of the world, as an athlete does before the start of the game, you release the necessary energy to achieve the intended goal.

So, back to the concept of happiness. For some, it doesn't take much to experience this emotion. Someone calls happiness the most unforgettable moments of his life, when emotions literally took your breath away. For some, happiness is personal success, while for others it is something more global... Happiness is felt more fully when there is someone to share it with. Happiness is still experienced in different ways: someone is too passionate and emotional, and someone is more calm and rational.

Maybe the attitude to what is happiness changes depending on various circumstances: age, stage and living conditions? Now get out your diary. Here's your first assignment.

WORK WITH THE DIARY

On the left side of the page, write the age period 1 year – 10 years, and next to describe the happy moments that you can remember. Then describe the happy moments you experienced at the age of 15, 20, 25, etc. Analyze how the situations in which you experienced happiness have changed over time. Is there something in common in these moments, such as communication with people, the beauty of nature or the delight of creativity? What does that make you think about now?

Although happiness visits us in special moments, we would all like to prolong it as long as possible. For happiness to last longer, it must address the most important and meaningful aspects of our lives. The pleasure of ice cream eaten on a hot day is too fleeting, and memories of time spent with a good friend will warm the soul for a long time.

Pleasure is an important element of happiness. The question is how big it should be. Imagine a banquet where tables are bursting with food. Some dishes we really like, and some we don't. If you do not try anything, you will remain hungry, and if you take everything that is offered, in the end, your stomach may hurt.

What is the point of this metaphor? If you devote your whole life to one thing, ignoring humor, game or beauty, then life will be extremely boring. If a person decides that there is nothing important to him at all, his life will become absolutely empty and meaningless.

Writer and expert on the topic of happiness Tal Ben-Shahar said the following: Happiness lies at the intersection of pleasure and meaning. We need both. The thirst for pleasure makes us go on a journey, and the meaning inherent in it gives it value and significance.

Three Types of Happiness

1. Hedonic happiness is associated with the experience of joy, as well as with a decrease in the intensity of negative experiences. It's a nice feeling of getting something new (phone, a pair of shoes, a new job, etc.) that's outside of you and you can't influence the stability of owning something. When you have some new thing, you may feel happy, but quite quickly the feeling of novelty passes (hedonic adaptation) and you stop experiencing a sense of pleasure. If you suddenly don't get this thing because it's out of your control, you may be disappointed. If your happiness depends so much on this thing, where might it take you?

2. Eudaimonic happiness is associated with the acquisition of a blissful attitude. In literal translation, eu means good and daemon means mood. It is about a sense of inner integrity and fulfillment, about the ability to be in tune with yourself and rely on your inner resources. It also implies internal and external well-being, a sense of love and harmony in family and friendly relationships. If you live a full