Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend Is Going Through a Divorce

Editor’s Note: Beginning next week, Dear Therapist will be on hiatus until April 29. In the meantime, enjoy the Dear Therapist archive and send Lori your questions, big and small, at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

My boyfriend did not tell me he was married for the first three months of our dating because he didn’t feel the timing was right for him. Eventually he apologized and explained that he had been afraid of losing me, and I forgave him.

Two years later, we are still together but it’s been an incredibly exhausting struggle to get him to take the steps necessary for the divorce. He would promise to do a specific task at a certain time but then continuously forget to do it. We also fought a lot about how much his wife should be part of our