Practical Guide to Relationships & Soul Connections: How to Survive a Breakup

By Graham Elkin

Heartbreak Recovery and Healing after a Breakup

 

In my work as a psychic medium the most common question asked is "will I get back with my ex?" You are exes for a reason, and yes it's sometimes possible to get back into the relationship. The real question is "would that be the best for you?"

 

All things in life are lessons and relationships are no exception. Often the need not to feel alone convinces us to settle for less than we deserve. Some people prefer to be In a relationship that they know isn't right for them, but think that the right one will eventually come along and they will move into the new one.

 

We need to master self compassion. If you don't love yourself then why would someone else love you? Taking time to be alone and fully healing from a break up can be the best course to take. There are of course many types of relationships including karmic connections, twin flame ascension being the stand out and most difficult.

This book is a handbook or "manual" to help you through the minefields that relationships can become. It points to the best way to get over a breakup.

 

Getting past your breakup is the most important step for your future happiness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: DCO Books
• Release date: Aug 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9786164560550

Book preview

PROLOGUE

Throughout my career as a psychic healer the predominant question asked is When will they come back? This book is a collection of writings looking at the topic and useful tips on what to do.

You can find support on your healing journey on grahamelkin.com and get a free sample of one of HT’s healing sound frequencies and combine it with your own strengths and your own self-made support programme. Meditate, journal how you feel, reflect and heal. Soothe your broken heart.

There are so many healthy ways to cope with what you are going through, so when you wonder how to keep yourself busy after a breakup always acknowledge one thing: just like a physical wound, your heart needs healing as well. Feel free to encourage yourself to use all the helping tools you have at your disposal and know you are just about to grow.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

LOVE RELATIONSHIPS TYPES EXPLAINED: 11 MOST FREQUENT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

The Beatles once famously wrote a song called Love is all You Need, and indeed, one of our basic needs as human beings, apart from basic biological needs and the need for security, is our need to love and be loved in return.

It is our birthright. We all hope for the best and dream of finding the right person we can call a soul mate, or even more, someone whose flame will burn just like ours, making our lives finally complete. On our path to finding love, we define what love is in different ways, as we all are unique and handle our need for love differently, but ultimately we are all looking for the same thing – love as it is, unconditional and true. There are many love relationships types we form throughout our lives, and no matter how different we all are, what kind of lifestyle we follow or what kind of music we are into, for example, there are certain romantic bonding patterns, certain types of relationships, which we, and many others out there seem to experience.

No matter how positive or negative these love experiences are, being aware of these 11 different types of love relationships can help us understand not only others, but ourselves, and ultimately can serve as lightning experiences, helping us grow and understanding what love, in its essence really is.

1. Pragmatic Relationship (Relationship Is a Rational Choice)

This is one of the most common love relationships types out there, and it is based on the belief that the relationship is a good choice. It is about being rational and doing the right thing, because it is a smart thing to do. The variations of this kind of bonding are many, but typically it involves marrying or pairing up because it is time to get married or to be in a serious relationship. Alternatively we see the other person as a good match to our status or perceive them as a catch, even though there are no deep feelings or connection established. There can be a sense of a certain compatibility, such as intellectual, material or religious, which may not arouse any emotional feelings, or passion.

2. Codependent Relationship (Relationship Is a Drug We Need to Take to Survive)

This is the type of love relationship where two individuals create a union which is similar to addiction. Love is a substance they need to have at any time, in order to function properly. Usually, one partner is the addict and the other co-dependent, who will sacrifice everything in order to make the other person happy, although both of them are "love-addicted".

Co-dependent partners engage in a relationship that gives them false security and comfort. Partnerships like this destroy the sense of self, as there is no I, but only us. The only identity is that of the relationship, and these kinds of relationships are emotionally destructive, toxic, covertly one-sided and can sometimes be abusive.

3. Independent Relationship (I Before Us)

Contrary to the previous type, where the actual partnership is the centre of attention, the independent type of relationship may represent a modern-relationship cliché. Both partners put themselves, their goals, ambitions and personalities first. This type of relationship can function if it is based on true equality and a common goal of independence, but what is distinctive about it is the lack of commitment and willingness to adapt to one another if that demands too much of a compromise for one or both partners.

4. Sweet Romance Relationship (In Love)

This is a pure romantic love relationship type, as seen in movies and accompanied by a certain sense of idealism, and not necessarily based on true compatibility. Two people fall in love, and guided by gentle feelings and romanticism, build a relationship. This bonding is based on genuine feelings towards each other and a desire to make a relationship work. However once the feelings wear off, the partners may resort to only remaining committed to each other, or they may drift apart.

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5. Open Relationship (Us + Others)

The open relationship is another cliché of a modern love relationship types and there are a few sub-types. The most common one is where partners are emotionally committed to one another and may have established a serious emotional bond, but both approach the relationship with a sense of liberty and give each other the freedom to have sexual relations with other people. Just like the previous type, it demands equality and similar motives, but what is different is that there is usually more dedication to the relationship as an entity.

6. Lustful Relationship (I Really Want You)

This kind of relationship is characterised as passionate, deep desire for one another, to the point of obsession. It can be based on strong passion and lust, but is often accompanied by strong emotions. It is one of the most common types of love relationships out there and likely there are many who have experienced it at some point. This kind of relationship carries a strong energy, but as time passes and the ecstasy diminishes, the relationship can feel insufficient or lacking in some way, ultimately leading to breakup.

7. Casual Relationship (Nothing Serious)

This is a no-strings-attached type of love relationship and it is all about being free from serious commitment. Partners experience uncertainty and the thrill of a new relationship, without serious attachment. It is all about fun and not so much about adapting and growing. The longevity of this kind of relationship depends on both parties, as it can be temporary, but it can sometimes become something more than just a fling.

8. Toxic Relationship (Walking on Eggshells)

The toxic relationship is probably one of the most draining experiences an individual can have. The main themes are passive-aggression, jealousy, controlling games, extensive criticism, lack of healthy communication, feeling uneasy or trapped in a relationship. It can produce the sensation that one must walk on eggshells to avoid possible confrontations.

This type of a relationship often feels like being in prison and usually one partner gets the worst of it. In order to keep the peace and maintain what one’s concept of love, the lesser partner sacrifices many things, including self-esteem, defined identity and ultimately mental health.

9. Commitment Only Relationship (When Passion and Love Are Gone)

This is a rather passive relationship and it has some of the characteristics of the pragmatic relationship. Both lack love and passion, but the only difference here is that the commitment-only relationship was once a passionate relationship, but it has lost its initial spark. Partners are together because of the pure desire to keep the partnership going, because of commitment and dedication, and (especially if children are involved) there can also be a distinct feeling of responsibility towards one another. This type of relationship can frequently be a result of a once lustful relationship and is based on shared history and time spent building a relationship. This relationship, however can also survive based on good general compatibility.

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10. Rebound Relationship (Relationship After Relationship)

When ending a love relationship, especially one of the serious kind, many seek a new relationship shortly afterwards in order to fill the void and deal with negative breakup emotions more easily. This is known as a rebound relationship. Un-dealt with emotions from the previous partnership can easily find a way to emerge as the first relationship impacts how one feels and thinks. In most cases it is a transitional relationship. But not all are doomed to fail. No matter how long these interludes last, their main purpose is to serve as a tool for healing from previous experience, as it makes one feel loved, wanted and appreciated again.

11. Soul Connections (Soul Mates, Twin Flames and Karmic Partners)

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There are certain types of relationships where we feel a connection on a much deeper level, so deep, so powerful that it is hard to explain, almost as if we know deep down the other soul was meant to meet with ours.

These soul connections are divine gifts and are something we hope to find every time we start a romantic relationship – this is what we are hoping for when looking for love. But it is much more than that. Some connections are there to teach us a lesson, one that we need to learn in order to evolve into who we are supposed to be.

Sometimes, the lessons that hurt the most are the ones we remember, the ones that finally push us to face what we have been avoiding. It may force us to put in the real work, on ourselves and on how we treat others. Once that lesson is learnt, the relationship has served its purpose. Both parties must go their separate ways and begin a new path.

WHAT ARE SOUL CONTRACTS AND HOW THEY AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIPS?

Throughout our lives, we encounter a lot of people, many of whom are easily forgotten – in fact the majority won’t play crucial roles in our lifetime. But some leave a powerful impression and affect many areas of our existence, challenge our emotional and rational selves and ultimately cultivate change in our destiny. These are the people who meet us for a specific reason, a reason we usually are yet to discover and may not understand after the relationship has fulfilled its purpose.

It often feels like we were meant to meet in this lifetime and it is these people who have major roles in our journey of self-realisation and transformation. These are called soul contracts or soul agreements.

What are Soul Contracts?

Soul contracts are agreements we make with other souls before we are born. Souls we have contracts with will be those to bring deep changes into our lives through unique connection. These contracts are made with a special purpose, and that is to teach us important lessons we’ve chosen to learn before reincarnation. People we have soul contracts with will come to our lives for this purpose, and they will be an important and unavoidable part of our unique path.

There are many soul contract relationships, and we make these with family members, friends, lovers and others. Before we are even born we have chosen our surroundings – our parents, where we will be born and who will be the first people to influence us. In our childhood we start to embrace patterns and schemes of behaviour that will establish our blockages and our primal wounds, just so that we can later heal. It is these patterns that will bring to us people we have soul contracts with, and they will come into our lives to teach us about ourselves, who we are and who we are destined to become. These soul contracts affect our relationships at a deep, profound level. After meeting each of these souls, we will never again be who we were.

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These souls we have contracts with will affect our relationships in many ways, but more than anything they bring us awakenings, teach us love and how to relate with others, give us healing and help us embrace our unique path. To find our Authentic Self.

Here are how soul contracts affect our relationships.

1. They Help Us Heal

There is a divine plan for each of our souls in this lifetime and it is these people who will help us discover our real path, help us heal, through darkness or through light. We make these contracts with other people in order to help discover ourselves and heal parts of us that need to be healed. Soul contracts we make are there to help us resolve some challenge or break a pattern we have learned, break a theme of conditioning so we can finally progress and empower our souls, by healing and growing stronger. All healing relationships through soul contracts are predestined for us.

In other words, we choose to learn from these souls before we get here on earth, they carry lessons we have to learn in this lifetime and they will accompany us on our journey for this specific purpose. Soul contracts are made to help us heal.

It is not uncommon for these contracts to carry very intense emotions, sometimes very painful. It may seem they are here just to wound us even more and add even more salt to the wound that needs to heal. But the truth is, they are here to help us become aware of that wound, and find the cure for it within ourselves, instead of suppressing or denying it. And we have chosen them for this very reason.

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There is a theme, a focus for this lifetime we have to fulfill with other souls, and it is these contracts that change the whole perspective of relating in the future. Sometimes we can repeat these lessons, just so that we can incorporate what we have learned and heal our wounds. It is all part of our programming and the soul we have a contract with is there to help us move beyond that programming.

2. Healing Soul Mate Relationships Teach Us Love

We make those agreements at the soul level, before we get to know each other. One of the gifts we get through soul contracts is love, and probably the most powerful of connections of two souls that will teach us this important lesson are soul mate connections, karmic partnerships and perhaps our twin flame, if we meet one.

What makes these soul connections so powerful is the huge transformative potential they have. Soul contracts are made to show us the path to unconditional love by challenging us and connecting our soul with another.

With soul mates and soul contracts it is all about two people coming together with a mission to awaken each other’s capacity for unconditional love, find it within and mutually challenge personal growth. These people bring us challenges that we need to face in order to reach our fullest potential and learn about loving oneself and others.

Soul mates will show us the path to love, but will also present challenges and trials we need to go through. We will experience hardships as many times as we need, till we embrace true self-love and learn what unconditional love really is. This is why some may have many soul contracts that carry difficult lessons, but that is only because everyone has a path that is unique. We need to make soul contracts for this lifetime to teach us about giving and receiving from a safer place, one that is not guided by fear or ego, but selflessness, light and truth. This will change the quality of all future relationships for the better, as after each encounter with another we have soul agreement with we will speak more from the heart than from ego or fear.

3. They Help Us Embrace Our Unique Path

Our relationships reflect the energy we carry within. What we project is what we believe, what we think we deserve, what we think is right and how we feel, but people we have relationships with are there for a reason, and that is to teach us how limiting this can be, and therefore show us the real path to self fulfilment. A soul we have a contract with is there to help us get rid of everything limiting and restricting, everything that is blocking us and we might not be aware of. This path might not be easy, as the souls we encounter present challenges to us, and are there to stimulate our growth.

We attract relationships with different souls to help us learn about ourselves, sometimes through support and love, but many times through challenges. They are here to remove the mask and blockages by showing us our real selves. Then we will learn it is ok to let go of things that are no longer taking us where we would like to be – spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

We tend to project our inner needs onto others. This can be anything we need to develop in this lifetime. Whether it’s confidence, feeling worthy, feeling loved, feeling accepted and protected, a contract with another soul is made to help us find everything we need, by teaching us to look within.

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4. They Improve Our Future Relationships

Soul agreements are made to teach not only the way we understand the world and others, but to understand our own needs and desires, our fears and motives. Every person we have a significant relationship with will teach us important lessons that will affect the future of our relating with others.

Every time we encounter an obstacle, we transform a part of ourselves that is limiting us. We will naturally gravitate towards change once we realise our behaviours bring out the same patterns that are limiting us. Soul agreements carry different energies and lessons. Some will recur, and this will happen because it was designed to before we incarnated. Every relationship carries a potential of transformation, and this potential will be directed toward the part of us that is predestined for that specific transformation.

When the transformation occurs, we will no longer hold on to patterns we learned. This is why all future relationships will have a much better quality to them, as we are approaching relating to others with more self-love. Some relationships will teach