A Story That Needs to Be Told: Postscript

By Tosin Ojumu

A short ebook from my relationship series and blog: "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie" that is all about building an outstanding foundation for an outstanding marriage. This ebook contains 7 articles:

A Story That Needs to Be Told
Just a couple of days ago I felt the Spirit of God chastising me on this subject in this gentle but firm way, and it truly struck home. One of the consequences of being so busy recently with work is that I have truly been struggling to find time to commune with God. My times of prayer have felt more like I’ve talking at God rather than truly engaging in spiritual intimacy with Him.

A Story That Needs to Be Told – PostScript
I set a precedent for myself of giving an absolute one thousand percent in various relationships. Throughout my writings on my blogs I will often say about different interactions I’ve had with different people, (not only in potentially romantic contexts): “I gave a thousand percent.” I really do mean a thousand percent, and it was in this one incident with this one man that I first set this precedent for myself. Prior to this I had never really given my all to any interaction with anyone.

Passionately in Friendship
Perhaps another lie is this: that between a husband and wife who are passionately in love, all their thoughts towards one another are always romantic, or sexual (As I say, I’ve definitely been filling my head with the wrong books!) But perhaps it is not like that at all! Perhaps it is that most of their thoughts towards one another are actually about friendship, and cooperation, and mutual admiration, and being able to be vulnerable with one another...

Taking Marital Advice from a Single Woman?
People (including me!) tend to talk as if there is something mysterious about marriage that is mystically written in the air: at the end of the day it boils down to people dynamics between two people, also the dynamics of sexual attraction versus ongoing commitment between a man and a woman; also power dynamics between two people, and power dynamics between the genders.

Happy 5th Birthday to Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie!
So the fifth anniversary of this blog occurred all the way back in March! That’s five years of thinking about marriage, and thinking what I can do beforehand to best maximise my chances of a wonderful marriage.
I would like to thank everyone who has been reading this blog. I find it so therapeutic to sit here and think through these ideas, and I am so excited to think that these ideas could help other people too.

The Primacy of Friendship or Putting Friendship First
I think that this following is an important consideration for anyone hoping for a relationship; that different marriages can focus on different things or can spring out from different things. What is more, different couples can choose what to base their marriages upon! Perhaps it is true to say that everyone makes this choice whether they realise it or not. I’m sure that in many marriages, the two spouses will choose different things to base their marriage on.

Tosin’s List Part 1 – Why the List
I am looking for perfection! Yeah, I said it! OK, well maybe I’m not really! However, there are some people who act like this: whenever I start listing some of the characteristics that I aspire to in my own life, and the ones I want from my husband, they will say “Well we can’t all be perfect!” Honestly, it annoys me so much! I do not think that these characteristics amount to perfection, but rather excellence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tosin Ojumu
• Release date: Aug 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463376850

Tosin Ojumu

Hello, my name is Tosin and for many years I have sat down and thought through questions about how to have an outstandingly successful marriage, and what I need to do before I get married to best ensure that successful marriage. Over the next few weeks and months I aim to publish a new ebook everyday from my blog and relationship series "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie." Visit my blog address listed here to see the full list of ebooks as well as video excerpts for each ebook :)

Book preview

A Story That Needs to Be Told - Postscript

Copyright 2019 by Tosin Ojumu

Published at Smashwords.com

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

Table of Contents

A Story That Needs to Be Told

A Story That Needs to Be Told – Post Script

Passionately in Friendship

Taking Marital Advice from a Single Woman?

Happy 5th Birthday to Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie!

The Primacy of Friendship or Putting Friendship First

Tosin's List Part 1 – Why the List

Cover Image Free-Photos from Pixabay

The ebook summary is available on my website at https://huggie-wuggie.com/excerpts/ebook-summary-a-story-that-needs-to-be-told-postscript/

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A Story That Needs to Be Told

This ebook was previously posted on my blog "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie" on 2 April 2016

To see this ebook in other formats please check out my website at: https://huggie-wuggie.com/excerpts/a-story-that-needs-to-be-told/

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Firstly, I really want to apologise if it seems that I have been blowing my own trumpet so much on this blog. There are two aspects to this:

1. Firstly a story. My Mum and I were watching a recent interview with Donald Trump for his presidential campaign. We could not help giggling and at times gasping outright at his unbelievable bragging. Seriously, how could someone be so full of himself?!

And yet it also struck me that in constantly describing myself as outstanding, that is how I might sound. So apologies if I have been sounding like a younger, female version of Donald Trump in proclaiming my own outstandingness.

2. Secondly, more seriously, I believe the Spirit of God is truly ministering to me about humility. Just a couple of days ago I felt the Spirit of God chastising me on this subject in this gentle but firm way, and it truly struck home. One of the consequences of being so busy recently with work is that I have truly been struggling to find time to commune with God. My times of prayer have felt more like I've talking at God rather than truly engaging in spiritual intimacy with Him. And this was the first time in a long time that I felt the Spirit of God truly manage to cut through to me.

Once again, yet again, I would like to thank anyone who has been praying for me, if indeed there is someone out there doing that. Seriously, I honestly think that prayer is such a profound expression of love. The Bible says Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends. John 15v13 I believe that when you pray for someone, that is one way of laying down your life for them, because you are giving of the time that makes up your life to bless your friend. And labouring through prayer so that someone else should be like Jesus is once again the best gift that you could give them. So thank you, I sincerely thank you, if someone is indeed out there praying for me.

And yet, having made that big preamble, this might well be the one story on this blog where I most come across as bragging or being full of myself. This one story is important for so many reasons. It is totally foundational to the way I approach relationships. And to be utterly candid, I sincerely was outstanding - that is, I was outstanding by my own standards. Actually, one of the big things that this story teaches me is that I have very, very low tolerance of relationship pain. I am utterly, utterly sure that the endurance that I have been congratulating myself about which lasted not even up to two full years is the same endurance, or even just a fraction of what some people put into their relationships for even decades, without making a big song and dance about it.

This is a story that I have wanted to tell and I have thought necessary to relate ever since I started writing this blog, essentially. And yet I have truly struggled to know how to tell it in a way that is gracious, that communicates all that is necessary without