Romance Ends, Relationship Begins

By Anthony Fontana

My primary purpose in writing this book was to share the knowledge that my wife and I learned about relationships after having attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend. We also were involved preparing couples for marriage for over twenty-five years at our parish. What I discovered was that our society does not provide a proper preparation for the seriousness of a marriage commitment. I believe the title of my book is enough to arouse some interest for we have all learned that we fall in love and can just as easily fall out of love. What I am presenting is a step by step assistance that anyone can employ to move from that initial state of romance to a solid relationship. There is a wide gap between a foundationless rapport with a partner and one that involves a solid effort from both.
Some of the basic principles I emphasize are aimed at your awakening to the fact that in order to truly relate with another you must first know yourself. Once that is established you will be ready to be more intimately involved with each other. I present my own relationship as an unending journey where we are confident enough to reveal ourselves on a deeper level of communication.
In order to attain the willingness and security we will need to accept the real meaning of love, we need to learn to focus on the present, accept any change that pops up and eventually realize that the power of our relationship with our loved one has an effect on those that may cross our path.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481738071

Anthony Fontana

Anthony Fontana is a retired Foreign Language teacher who taught French and Spanish for thirty years. He received his B.A. from Siena College, New York and his Master of Liberal Arts degree from Stony Brook University, New York. He enjoys doing yoga, tai chi, reading, photography and playing the piano. He has been married for forty-two years and has three children and two grandchildren. He and his wife were active in Marriage Encounter and Pre Cana for over twenty-five years.

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© 2013 Anthony Fontana All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 4/11/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-3808-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-3807-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013906452

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

Finding One’s Self

Accepting Our Journey: Ego vs Real Self

Discovering Real Love In A Relationship

Communication: Conversation vs Dialogue

Meditation

Romance

Love

Relationship

Focus on the Present

Accepting Change

Realizing Your Importance and Power

Introduction

The motivation for this work was simply brought about by my quiet moments of reflection on my own life about thirty-three years ago. At that point I was fortunate enough to have a desire to share the beauty and the love that surrounded me in my immediate world in spite of the several hardships that were also present. I always was a good listener and refrained from overpowering any conversation. What I discovered at that time was that people felt comfortable in my presence. Allowing them the opportunity to share their aches and pains made them feel quite at ease. Too many are struggling in our fast-paced world and need to find their personal sense of value and love. Even if this book falls into the hands of just one person and assists him/her in successfully attaining the joyful experience of a meaningful relationship, I believe it has served its purpose.

Relationship is so very important and I will try to present it on various levels. Quantum physics tells us that the entire universe is a complex web of interdependent relationships. Knowing this you have already realized your very own importance. Even modern medicine has had no choice but to gradually accept the influx of alternative means from around the world to achieve better health. Healing now is no longer a treatment of the physical body as a separate entity, but one that needs to be performed in relationship to one's mind and spirit.

My goal here is to share my very own relationship with my spouse as an example to assist others in finding that universal link we all need to experience in order to feel truly fulfilled. This all happens when we learn how and where to focus our attention. It is unfortunate, however, that most of us have been programmed by family, friends, movies, media and many other surrounding influences. We remain preoccupied with the grandeur of the material world and never experience real uncluttered joy. Just picture for a moment the rapid momentum one experiences in any cold urban ambience. Without any guidance how can people learn to experience a real relationship within and with others. On a daily basis the primary focus that overpowers each and every person is getting to work on time. One arrives already stressed and exhausted just driving there or using public transportation. The preoccupation with the time element involved easily removes the possibility of having any kind of joyful experience. Most bear with the frustration alone in their cars and those on a bus or train or even walking must do so without any conversation. Maybe that's why nowadays there are so many cell phone-atics out there! I see that more as a crutch using meaningless fill-in conversation to keep busy and assist in the prevention of loneliness rather than a real meaningful sharing face to face.

What I will try to achieve here is merely direct your attention to some very basic concepts in each chapter that may allow you to stop (even for just a few moments each day) and make yourself aware of how easily you can attain a sincere relationship with yourself, a loved one and others.

Finding One’s Self

Probably the most difficult thing for any human being to deal with is one’s own identity. Can I really