How to Handle Your Partner's Fascination with Pornography and Make Your Relationship Even Better

By Zoë Burnzs

Pornography is everywhere.

Women tend to think of porn as having the power to corrupt men’s minds, destroy relationships, and crush marriages – but many men think of it as a fun, pleasurable pastime that enhances overall sexual pleasure. The disconnect between these perspectives can affect even the most loving and committed relationships.

Ladies, if your man is fascinated by porn, you probably feel frustrated, hurt, angry, and confused. You may even feel less desirable, or like he’s cheating on you. Your feelings may alternate between disgust and curiosity. Thoughts of working things out or quitting the relationship may have surfaced. 

Either way, your relationship is likely in turmoil. This book, based on firsthand experience, can help you get your relationship back on track.

In How to Handle Your Partner’s Fascination with Pornography and Make Your Relationship Better Than Before, you’ll learn how to: 
•Learn the difference between fascination with adult sites and porn addiction
•Understand your man’s fascination with adult sites
•Get your man to open up about his interest in porn and discuss your sexual relationship 
•Discuss your feelings about porn without anger or frustration
•Discover his sexual fantasies and use that knowledge to your advantage
•Reclaim your power as a sexy, passionate, vibrant, and confident woman
•Discover the passion you once had with your man and make it better than ever before!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Z. B. Publishing
• Release date: Jul 29, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386836766

Zoë Burnzs

Zoë Burnzs has always been that friend you could call (day or night) when you needed raw, uncensored and honest relationship advice. Fascinated by the inner workings of the human heart, body and mind, Zoë has a BA in Love and a Ph.D. in Relationships. Seriously though, Zoë has taken several college-level psychology courses and has a BA in English, as well as a JD. She considers herself an instinctive relationship advisor and matchmaker! Married for seven years, she has the intimate knowledge of the joys and challenges of building a life with one’s partner. She and her husband have dealt with issues that would tear most relationships apart. But their love has survived through it all and now they’re solid as a rock! Through personal experiences (and of those close to her), Zoë has learned how to get one’s needs met, rebuild one’s self-esteem, enhance communication, and rebuild trust and passion after betrayal. And through her books, Zoë shows other women how to do the same! Zoë is a passionate writer and instinctively uses her powerful words and conversational and candid writing style to help numerous women find their inner strength and voice during the rockiest parts of their relationships. Her ultimate mission is to empower and encourage other women so they realize just how spectacular and strong they really are. Besides writing, Zoë loves to surf, hike, exercise, travel and spend time with her husband. You may often find her dancing through the house and singing a grand duet with her Umbrella Cockatoo, Coconut!

Book preview

Introduction

If you’re a woman who has caught her husband or boyfriend reading or watching porn or visiting strip clubs, I feel for you, girlfriend. While I’m not a relationship therapist, I happen to know exactly how you feel. When I discovered a towel containing my man’s semen and a porn movie in the DVD player (not to mention numerous porn sites in his computer history), I felt angry, frustrated, betrayed and also insecure. I’ll admit it: I may not be Miss Universe, but I am a good-looking woman with a nice body. Yes, I’ve gained a little weight, but I personally think my butt looks hot. Plus, I thought I knew how to turn my man on, and our relationship seemed secure on the surface.

When I played the tapes and visited the sites he had been viewing to get his freak on, the women on them looked nothing like me. They were taller, skinnier, more voluptuous, darker, shorter, had longer hair, shorter hair—you name it. In essence, these girls were different from me in every way imaginable. One thing that they all had in common, however, was that they were all confident and uninhibited. I had to give them that. The girls did things with their body parts that I hadn’t even known you could do.

Initially, I was pissed. I mean, how could that disgusting pig of mine look at other women and get so freaking turned on by them that he’d busted a nut or two into my bath towel? To make it even worse, he’d done it right in our living room – the living room where we’d cuddled and made love while we watched some sappy romantic drama. Even worse than that, I’d been at home sleeping and had had no idea what the heck was going on. All he had to do was walk into our bedroom and wake me up, and I would have happily consented to a sexcapade (or two) with him. But, no – Captain Hot Hands had decided to play around with himself and his virtual sex partner.

Initially, I was going to confront him. But then I decided to take a time-out. During my time off, I did a bit of soul-searching and came to a realization: maybe our relationship wasn’t as tight as I’d thought it was. Yes, we still had sex (sometimes kinky, but, if I were honest, usually not). In fact, if I was truly honest with myself, our sex life was very missionary and typically occurred on Sunday nights. Come to think of it, 70% of our sessions were boring, with me in my Mickey Mouse pajamas, him on top. Pretty predictable, with the usual 35 pumps until touchdown. And those didn’t satisfy any fantasies on either end. As for the other 30% of the time, well, that’s when I put on the thong and he put on his Speedos and we got our groove on. (69 is a good number.)

I loved my man, and I didn’t want to lose him, but at that moment, I felt as if the roof was caving in on our marriage. After discovering the porn, I was terrified that our relationship might not survive. Since I loved him and wanted to make things work, I vowed to do whatever I could to discover my man’s needs and whatever it took to spice things up.

Now that I look back, I can see that finding out about my husband’s fascination with porn was the wake-up call that saved our marriage. In fact, it was probably the best thing for us and our relationship. But this revelation didn’t play out overnight. It took a month of investigation to discover that he watched porn twice a week and about two months before I asked him about it. During that time, we fought a lot, our relationship became even more stressed out, and we spent a couple of nights apart. To be honest, I thought our relationship was