You Will - Memoirs of a Loving Father: While Unknowingly Embarking On His Epic Journey Towards Growth

By Frank J Melero Jr.

“You Will” started as a set of memoirs for my two children during a very dark time in my life. Yes, my story started within my tribe but as time passed, I realized that it was for more than just us. Sure, my book is entrenched in angst, painful memories and my wrestling with questions about the great unknown. But it’s more about the realization that love, grace and hope never die - ever. It’s about removing our blinders and choosing to see things for ourselves. It’s about how we all fall, but we can also all get back up. This is me finally listening and choosing that I can be a part of helping others do just that, even if via my own thorns and scars.

This story isn’t only about telling people my story. It’s an open invitation. It’s me inviting them to share their story with the world too. You’re not alone, not even close. We are all called for greatness. This is my attempt to shine a light on the fact that we’re not done yet. We can all grow. We just got started.

Feel free to sing along…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Nov 30, 2017
• ISBN: 9781483476209

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Copyright © 2017 Frank J Melero Jr.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of the author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-7621-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-7620-9 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

NLT:

Scripture quotations are taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 11/15/2017

This book is dedicated to my two children with hopes that you can draw strength from the times in which I was weakest. I share my story with you and others with hopes that my mom’s words can shine through in response to the heartaches in my life:

What the enemy intends for bad, our God can use for the good.

Here’s to hoping …

~ There’s no better way, guys. I promise. Hope is always the last thing that dies (Thanks Hector!) ~

Isabella (my anchor) - You are five right now and, through your beautiful spirit, know that you’ve already molded and wrapped me so hard around that pinky of yours. No woman, not even your mother, whom I hold to the highest of standards, did that to me in such record timing. You simply are what the words grace and beauty look like in person. I love you! Never change, baby. My Belly …

Frankie (my #3) - Right now you are one. One has never burned so brightly. The very real fire that radiates in you is intoxicating. Know that every time I was lost in 2015, I only needed to look into your eyes to remember so clearly what I was fighting for. Don’t ever let the world diminish your fire, my little man. I love you! My Little Tank …

I’m thankful every single day for you being born and you both being mine. I promise to never stop trying to grow, learn, and move forward so that, one day, you’ll love and appreciate me the way I did the second I heard and felt your first breaths.

Preface

I started these writings during a very strange time in my life. I don’t know how else to put it other than tell you that on November 19, 2014, I was involved in a bad motorcycle accident that put me in a coma for the better part of a week, and then I was hospitalized in four different hospitals to assist me during my in-patient tenure of the early parts of my recovery.

The harshest part about this accident is that it happened the day before my firstborn son’s birth date.

In case this isn’t already implied, I feel that I must tell you that I wasn’t able to be there for my wife or son the day of my second child’s birth. Rather than getting into the details of it all now—because, believe me that will come later— I want to first take step back and tell you why I began these original writings to my two children.

Fear

I wasn’t sure I would be around to show my children who I truly was during a very dark part of my life. Please understand that my motor wasn’t running on all cylinders during this time. As a result of my accident, I suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI), a torn brachial plexus (look it up), and a fractured neck/spine, as well as other terrible things. I think it would be safe to assume that my body, mind, and soul had seen better days …

But back to the fear element of it all.

During a time of huge uncertainty, I found that a part of me held onto every bit of hope that I could muster at the time. Know that it wasn’t much, but looking back, it was clearly enough. In the midst of this chaos, I took to writing to the biggest inspirations in my life with the hope (there goes that word again) that they could know who their daddy was and what he stood for just in case I didn’t get to show them in person. It’s funny how these writings eventually became the things that I fell for in my life, thirty-two years prior.

Since this accident, my family has adopted this cheesy little moto that we’ve all embraced wholeheartedly. It usually happens between my daughter and one of her parents and usually goes something like this:

Parent: What happens when you fall?

Our six-year-old daughter: You get back up!

I’m convinced that the wordz (not a typo) You Will and these lessons that I’m going to share with you came at a point in my life when I needed them the most. They came at a time when I adopted a new thought process filled with love and what it really means: the love that we all dream about and strive to have in our lives. These lessons eventually allowed me to dream on a bigger scale and grow in a way that I never thought possible. But back in those days, I didn’t even think that I could get back to being a man who could stand on his own two feet again.

I wasn’t sure I would be a prominent father figure for my two children.

I wasn’t sure that I could be the other half that I had promised to my wife so many years prior on the day of our wedding.

I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to live anymore.

The only thing I saw were my circumstances right in front of me. The thought of my losses and injuries nearly paralyzed me, yet I grasped onto this new thought process for dear life.

"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be."

I still have this quote saved on my phone. This text message came shortly after the time when I relearned a bunch of things: walking, reading, writing—the things that I had once took for granted. I assumed that these things would be there until they weren’t—probably due to old age. Using my cell phone was also one of those things. At that time my Tia Motts (Aunt Martha) had sent me a text that jumped out at me in such a way that I couldn’t help but look at it every day, especially on those days when I refused to believe it due to the circumstances in front of me.

It’s safe to say that I cried a bunch during this time of my life. I cry a lot still. But during this time of my life, the fear of my unknown future was so monumental that it consumed me and usually resulted in me being a wreck every day, especially for that first year of my recovery. But this fear went against everything that I believed about life growing up.

Plain and simple, growing up I saw fear as a huge weakness. I did everything in my power to overcome fear and all that came along with it. I would even be bold enough to say that I wasn’t terrible at doing this. But somewhere between point A (my youth) and point B (now), I’m realizing that fear is vital and can play a very significant role in our lives if we let it.

Take this book, for instance. My version of fear and a potential unknown future filled with anxiety and depression caused me to do a thing that I never thought possible. These two bad words and everything that came along with them eventually allowed me to identify the very many heartaches in my life and then flourish in a time when I could have drown.

These next parts are the things that I wrote to my two children in their rawest and uncut of forms. I do this because I happen to be an avid believer in learning from our mistakes, but more than that, I’m no good at sugarcoating the truth. That, plus I feel like we, as a society, do our best to overlook the things that we desperately need to address the most.

I’ve tried that—more than once. I’m not a fan …

Also, isn’t it the truth that sets us free?

Lights: Intro

I’ve changed, I see that now. I went from a pretty stubborn guy to a … I don’t know. I won’t play that game. I just know that I’m now growing into a better version of myself. I feel it and know it to be true. Getting to this place hasn’t been easy, though. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through.

I’m learning that change is hard. It can really hurt. You can go, for what seems like ages, begging for your pain to pass. Another thing I’m learning? Change can also be the most beautiful of things if you allow it to be. It can lead you to places that you never imagined.

Places filled with hope.

Places where faith is built.

Places where love and healing is found.

See, change can even break the most headstrong of men and allow them to grow in the most unexpected of ways, even during the worst of times.

I was never the biggest on reading, especially not writing, but now? I’m finding the realest of comforts in both. I’m not talking about reading the gossip columns in magazines or writing about my feelings on some silly social networking website—no. I’m referring to reading about the stories of life and when it meets hardship, struggle, pain, or anguish. Stories in which the reader learns how to triumph over these very real emotions and experiences. Tales in which life can knock you on your ass, but you refuse to fold. You refuse to fold because you hope and then eventually grow to believe that your view could be better from the top someday—no matter how long that may take, even when it feels like you’re being carried by somebody else.

See, we all go through that.