Bloom Beyond Perfection: Leaving the Perfection Trap and Discovering the Freedom of Good Enough

By Gigi Muth

Gigi hit rock bottom after an emotionally devastating turn of events. The perfectionism that once served her became a toxic wasteland of insecurity, neediness, and self-loathing. Her pursuit of perfection was a race to nowhere.

In Bloom Beyond Perfection, Gigi tells how she broke the bonds of perfectionism that held her back and found she was then able to manifest her dreams. She uncovered the treasures in the blind spots that her perfectionist views created. Armed with her own experiences, hours of coursework on overcoming perfectionism, and her pilgrimage along the Camino de Santiago, Gigi developed her Pilgrim Survival Kit. She learned that the journey through the most painful events holds the possibilities for a more prosperous life.

Bloom Beyond Perfection is partly Gigi’s own story and partly a workbook for your own Pilgrim Survival Kit. You will discover:

-The importance of releasing what no longer serves you
-That life happens for you, not to you
-How to let go of unworthiness, people-pleasing, and unrealistic expectations
-That you too can bloom beyond perfection!

Join Gigi today on a journey that will set you free to embrace the beauty of Good Enough!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gigi Muth
• Release date: Dec 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9798985085211

Gigi Muth

GIGI MUTH, a seasoned perfectionist turned good-enoughist, blends her witty style and real-life, relatable examples to show others how they might be playing small, fighting with “what is” and “shoulding” upon themselves. She is a dynamic speaker and coach, who is dedicated to helping others leave their Perfection Trap, discover their superpowers, and bloom beyond perfection.After 15 years in the California desert, Gigi is back in the Midwest, enjoying her family and loving the change of seasons. To Gigi, nothing says home more than snuggling on the couch with hot chocolate watching Hallmark movies on a cold, snowy day.

Book preview

ADVANCED PRAISE FOR

BLOOM BEYOND PERFECTION

"This is a compelling story about a woman’s journey of overcoming the limitations of perfectionism. She shares her innermost reflections on her life choices that center around being the perfect everything — perfect partner, mother, daughter, and employee only to learn that this has caused her disappointment and heartache.

Gigi holds nothing back! As the reader, I was right there with her on the Camino Trail as she confronted her demons and shared how vulnerable and courageous it is to embrace the treasures from devastating life events. This is a book for anyone who wants to heal from being perfect and be perfect, just as you are.

–Cindy Giles, PCC

Shamanic Life Coach

Speaker and Author

Cindygiles.com

"If you have ever felt overwhelmed by life, from negative childhood experiences to people pleasing and unrealistic expectations, you may be battling perfectionism. The author shares her own story that is relatable to multiple life situations. She defines perfectionism and gives examples of how it might appear in your life.

"I personally had no idea I had perfectionistic tendencies until I read this book. I realized that feeling negative emotions, from disappointment to shame, when I did not do things perfectly, caused me to self-sabotage with overeating. Now that I am more aware, I am practicing self-love and compassion.

"This book is a must-read if you want a combination of personal story, practical ways to stop feeling like you have to be perfect all the time, and tips on how to develop compassion for yourself and others along the way.

"The author shares insights from her own pilgrimage of awareness, acceptance, and self-understanding.

Perfectionism is not conquered overnight; it takes time and a willingness to go on a pilgrimage of your own.

–Wendy Crabbe

Life & Weight Loss Coach and Oncology Nurse Practitioner

Weightlosswithwendy.coach

Bloom Beyond Perfection

Leaving the Perfection Trap and

Discovering the Freedom of Good Enough

Gigi C. Muth

Copyright © 2021, Gigi Muth

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical (including any information storage retrieval system) without the express written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations for use in articles and reviews wherein appropriate attribution of the source is made.

Published in the United States by

Ignite Press

5070 N. Sixth St. #189

Fresno, CA 93710

www.IgnitePress.us

ISBN: 979-8-9850852-0-4

ISBN: 979-8-9850852-1-1 (Ebook)

For bulk purchase, booking, or permissions contact:

Gigi Muth

[e-mail]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, web addresses or links contained in this book may have been changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The content of this book and all expressed opinions are those of the author and do not reflect the publisher or the publishing team. The author is solely responsible for all content included herein.

This publication is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a healthcare professional. The information provided in this book is designed to provide helpful information on the subjects discussed. This book is not meant to be used, nor should it be used, to diagnose or treat any medical condition. For diagnosis and treatment of any medical problem, consult your own physician.

My personal story has been told to the best of my recollection. I have tried to recreate events, locales, and conversations from my memories of them. It has been told from my perspective and therefore it may differ from many of my loved ones. I take full responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I felt it was necessary to tell my experiences from

MY perception to explain the pitfalls of perfectionism and the grief of losing my daughter.

My intent is not to blame or hold others responsible for the events that influenced my life and my actions. It is also not my intention to hurt anyone during the telling of this story.

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Some events have been compressed and some dialogue has been recreated.

Credit has been given to the author of quotes to the best of my ability.

Trigger warning: this book contains sensitive topics such as suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 9-1-1 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-8255

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021915795

Cover design by Salman Sarwar

Edited by Reid Maruyama

Interior design by Jetlaunch

Photography by Lisa Ryan

To the light of my life,

Thank you for all the love and support

you have given me through the years.

As we know nothing in this life is permanent, and as we have only one life, so cherish every moment. Do daring things, make wise decisions, and surround yourself with people who challenge you to do greater things. Never compromise your dreams and desires just to keep others happy. Live your life to the fullest.

Fly high with the wings of fire.

I loved you before I even knew you,

I love you now, every day in between,

and every day after this one. You will forever be my Care Bear.

I love you!

To the L Family,

Thank you for sharing your home and children when

I needed them the most. Accept my endless gratitude for

those dances, wiggles, hugs, and love I received every day.

And to all my fellow perfectionists — simply:

We are not perfect; we are enough.

Acknowledgments

To my coaches that have encouraged me to be true to myself, dig deeper, and find the treasures in the shadows.

To all my yellow arrows, the teachers in my life, who have challenged me to grow into the person I am today.

To my spiritual adviser as I walked the Camino de Santiago, I will forever be grateful for your patience, support, love, and stretches.

Table of Contents

Preface

Introduction

PART I: The Perfection Trap

Chapter 1: So, This is Hell?

Chapter 2: My Childhood

Once I Reach It

Judgment of Others

Didn’t Belong

People-Pleaser

Inner Critic

Chapter 3: My Adulthood

Need Validation from Others

Joy Chaser

Looking for the Missing Piece

Chapter 4: My Daughter

All or Nothing Thinking

Rigid, Unrealistic

Focused on Final Product

Concerned with the Image

Chapter 5: The Intersection

Better to Give Up on a Task Than Not Do It Perfectly

PART II: Discovering the Freedom of Good Enough

Chapter 6: Fantasy of Perfection

What Is Perfectionism?

Perfection Trap

Limiting Beliefs of Perfection

Common Limiting Beliefs of Perfectionism

Chapter 7: Traits of Perfection

Advantages vs. Disadvantages

Chapter 8: Reality of Perfection

Chapter 9: Reasons For Perfection

Chapter 10: Freedom of Good Enough

B-Minus Work

Chapter 11: The Curveball

PART III: Blooming Beyond Perfection

Chapter 12: Camino de Santiago

Chapter 13: The Bandages

Camino Lesson: Willpower Only Gets You so Far

50/50 Principle

Building Resilience Toward the Tyrant

Chapter 14: The Backpack

Camino Lesson: Explore the Possibilities.

Unpack: Worthy When

Unpack: Should’ve, Would’ve, and Could’ve

Unpack: What Ifs

My Goodbye Letter to Perfection

Pack: Cape of Worthiness

Pack: Liberating Truths

Pack: Self-Care

Pack: Self-Forgiveness

Chapter 15: The Yellow Arrow

Camino Lesson: Embrace a Little Dirt to See Another Path in Front of You

Signs

Teachers

The Benefactors

The Mentors

The Leavers

Chapter 16: The Walking Stick

Camino Lesson: You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out to Move Forward – Take the Next Step

Chapter 17: The Shoes

Camino Lesson: When You Walk with God, You Can Always Reach Your Destination

2/4 Principle

Chapter 18: The Celebration Of Today

Final Thoughts

Letter to My Daughter, Madeline

About the Author

Promise me you’ll always remember:

you’re braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think.

~ Winnie the Pooh

Preface

Our high achieving, competitive and highly media savvy world encourages us to achieve the ideal lifestyle. We are constantly being bombarded with images of others apparently living the dream and achieving perfection.

What was once aiming high and going for an A+ grade now has become an obsession to be perfect in everything we do: our grades, our activities, our looks, our personal lives, and our relationships. This would be ok if it didn’t drift into a dangerous belief system of unrelenting high standards.

That was me, striving for perfection in everything I did. Until it literally almost killed me. As I entered a world of self-discovery and dug into perfection’s past and roots I was shocked to learn how perfection can be as much a neurosis as a motivator. I just couldn’t believe that I was not the only one who missed the warning label on the book of perfection I subscribed to daily. Was I the only one out there who had fallen into the Perfection Trap? Was I the only one lured by the belief that perfection had to equal happiness? I mean how could it not — it is called perfection!

If you find yourself unable to have any down time, planning every minute of every day, even before you get up, and forgetting to have fun along the way, then you may be caught up in the Perfection Trap.

Bloom Beyond Perfection was written for all of you like myself who believed perfection was worthy of the time and effort put into every detail, who sacrificed family and friends to achieve completely unreasonable and impossible goals. It is also for those of you who are finding your perfectionistic tendencies taking a turn for the worse or finding that the same things that motivated you are now holding you back and keeping you small. Either way, please join me as we leave the Perfection Trap, explore how we can improve our lives and release what no longer serves us.

Introduction

My intense desire to be perfect almost killed me. The perfectionism that once served me was a toxic wasteland of insecurity, neediness, self-loathing. I was looking to others to fill me up and to make me feel special. I was a perfectionist on a race to nowhere. I lived in the victim mentality swamp, and I didn’t even try to get out at first. I felt like life was always happening to me. I thought my life was out of my control.

As I looked out from the mountainside over the valley, I believed I was all alone, no one loved me, and the world would be better off without me. Thanks to a Good Samaritan’s phone call after my suicide attempt, I received a second chance to discover where I had gone wrong. On my quest for answers, I learned how to be authentic, vulnerable, and courageous while managing my perfectionism, negative thoughts, and