Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2016

By Jeremy Zimmerman and Dawn Vogel

Jovian life forms, the cruel death of a superhero, memory loops. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2016 collects thirteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Judith Field, K. Kitts, and Deborah Walker. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, horoscopes, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include Sean Kavanagh, Michael Goldstein, Farah Ghuznavi, Leenna Naidoo, Maureen Bowden, Dusty Wallace, Tom Howard, E. B. Fischadler, Matt Largo, Thomas Canfield, Edward Palumbo, Michael Monaco, Kate Elizabeth, Sean Frost, A. C. Martin, Scott Chaddon, Jennifer Moore, Maya Obregon, Perry McDaid, and Shane Patrick. Includes art by Amanda Jones, Justine McGreevy, Shannon Legler, Luke Spooner, Ariel Alian Wilson, and Errow Collins.

• Language: English
• Publisher: DefCon One Publishing
• Release date: Dec 31, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310852190

Jeremy Zimmerman

Jeremy Zimmerman is a teller of tales who dislikes cute euphemisms for writing like “teller of tales.” His fiction has most recently appeared in 10Flash Quarterly, Arcane and anthologies from Timid Pirate Publishing. His young adult superhero book, Kensei, is now available. He is also the editor for Mad Scientist Journal. He lives in Seattle with five cats and his lovely wife (and fellow author) Dawn Vogel.

Book preview

Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2016

Edited by Dawn Vogel and Jeremy Zimmerman

Cover Art by Amanda Jones

Copyright 2015 Jeremy Zimmerman, except where noted

Smashwords Edition

The End of the Beginning is Copyright 2015 Sean Kavanagh

Reconstructing Visual Memories from Brain Activity Using fMRI is Copyright 2015 Michael Goldstein

The Assessment is Copyright 2013 Farah Ghuznavi

On Conveying Private Material and Persons in the Solar System is Copyright 2015 Leenna Naidoo

Promethea is Copyright 2015 Maureen Bowden

Traditional Fairy Dust: A Recipe is Copyright 2015 Dusty Wallace

A Piece of My Mind is Copyright 2015 Tom Howard

Belcher's Sailor: A Remarkable Adaptation to Life on Gas Giants is Copyright 2015 E. B. Fischadler

Primus v. Secundus and Flint Smoke are Copyright 2015 K. Kitts

Sol Invictus is Copyright 2015 Matt Largo

Alone is Copyright 2015 Thomas Canfield

Joanna, and How I know That You Murdered Her and Don’t Say That it Wasn’t You Because We Both Know That it Was is Copyright 2015 Edward Palumbo

Linguapocalypse is Copyright 2015 Michael Monaco

Stitch in Time is Copyright 2014 Judith Field

Pure and Without Savour is Copyright 2014 Deborah Walker

Horrorscopes is Copyright 2015 Kate Elizabeth

You Oort to Know is Copyright 2015 Sean Frost

Professions TV Network, Cliffhanger University, Hyphen Bio-Solutions Laboratories, Royal Gray Foundation, State Government of New Ontario, Department of Health and Medical Security, Skybound-Leeds Network Providers are Copyright 2015 A. C. Martin

For Sale (android), Foreign Beauty Seeks Husband W4M, Spare Clones on Sale 25% off, Scientist for Rent, and Looking to Buy are Copyright 2015 Scott Chaddon

Wanted (general scientific assistant) is Copyright 2015 Jennifer Moore

Good Help is So Hard to Find is Copyright 2015 Maya Obregon

Professionals Only is Copyright 2015 Perry McDaid

Lab Assistant Needed is Copyright 2015 Shane Patrick

Art accompanying The End of the Beginning and Belcher’s Sailor: A Remarkable Adaptation to Life on Gas Giants are Copyright 2015 Amanda Jones

Art accompanying Reconstructing Visual Memories from Brain Activity Using fMRI is Copyright 2015 Dawn Vogel

Art accompanying The Assessment is Copyright 2015 Justine McGreevy

Art accompanying On Conveying Private Material and Persons in the Solar System and Primus v. Secundus are Copyright 2015 Shannon Legler

Art accompanying Promethea, Sol Invictus, and Linguapocalypse are Copyright 2015 Luke Spooner

Art accompanying Traditional Fairy Dust: A Recipe is Copyright 2015 Ariel Alian Wilson

Art accompanying A Piece of My Mind and Alone are Copyright 2015 Errow Collins

Art accompanying Joanna, and How I Know That You Murdered Her and Don't Say That it Wasn't You Because We Both Know That it Was is Copyright 2015 Scarlett O'Hairdye

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Many thanks to Patreon backers Andrew Cherry and Deb Schumacher!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Letter from the Guest Editor

ESSAYS

"The End of the Beginning" provided by Sean Kavanagh

"Reconstructing Visual Memories from Brain Activity Using fMRI" provided by Michael Goldstein

"The Assessment" provided by Farah Ghuznavi

"On Conveying Private Material and Persons in the Solar System" provided by Leenna Naidoo

"Promethea" provided by Maureen Bowden

"Traditional Fairy Dust: A Recipe" provided by Dusty Wallace

"A Piece of My Mind" provided by Tom Howard

"Belcher's Sailor: A Remarkable Adaptation to Life on Gas Giants" provided by E. B. Fischadler

"Primus v. Secundus" provided by K. Kitts

"Sol Invictus" provided by Matt Largo

"Alone" provided by Thomas Canfield

"Joanna, and How I know That You Murdered Her and Don’t Say That it Wasn’t You Because We Both Know That it Was" provided by Edward Palumbo

"Linguapocalypse" provided by Michael Monaco

FICTION

"Stitch in Time" by Judith Field

"Flint Smoke" by K. Kitts

"Pure and Without Savour" by Deborah Walker

RESOURCES

"Horrorscopes" provided by Kate Elizabeth

"You Oort to Know" provided by Sean Frost

Classifieds

ABOUT

Bios for Classifieds Authors

About the Editors

About the Artists

LETTER FROM THE GUEST EDITOR

By Dr. Felicity Kitten-Franks

Dear readers,

By the time you read this, my victory will be complete. You had all thought me innocent, while I performed my skating routines to NSYNC songs. My dimples and cute outfits disarmed you. But now my crystaline allies, the K'r'k'k, have seized control of the major cities of the world, bringing eternal winter.

I will hold the world hostage until you restructure your governments to place me in charge. I have little patience for bureaucracy. You figure out the details, then I shall assume control.

Yours,

Dr. Kitten-Franks

Dr. Felicity Kitten-Franks is a three-time Olympic medalist and two-time World Figure Skating champion. She obtained Ph.D.s in xenobiology and crynobiology through Tbilisi State University under an assumed name. She appreciates your speedy compliance with her demands.

ESSAYS

THE END OF THE BEGINNING

An essay by Professor D'arby Swanson, as provided by Sean Kavanagh

Art by Amanda Jones

I stood in line at the patent office, my device, my little miracle, bundled up in its box in front of me. It didn't look like much, but I had burned my way through three grants, a marriage, and several friendships to make it work. Progress has its cost.

The buzzer sounded. No 55 flashed up on the board. My ticket was no 57. Soon.

A man came and sat next to me. I didn't like the look of him. His briefcase was large--a little TOO large--the sort of thing you'd hide espionage equipment in. Was he scanning my device? Was he scanning me? Trying to get my secrets before I could patent them? These people ...

I moved to another bench seat on the other side of the Patent Office, alone once more. Away from the mind reading mechanism or whatever it was he had in that bag. I wasn't stupid. No. My rivals would do anything. Anything.

Buzz. No 56. One more to go.

Then, the old lady came and sat opposite. She smiled. SMILED! Who smiles at strangers? I held my device closer to me and checked in my pocket for the paperwork to file my patent. I'd been up all night filling it in. Reading it. Re-reading it. All correct, every last detail.

She smiled again.

Why, I asked myself, was an old lady in a patent office? What had the old crone got that was worth patenting? In fact, now that I looked, she wasn't carrying anything. Not even a bag for her paperwork. A psychic? That was it. They'd sent a psychic to read my mind. Maybe she was working with the man with the bag? I could imagine the scam: she read my thoughts and he recorded them on a machine in the bag. Or maybe she was his back-up, sent in as I'd moved out of range of his equipment.

I moved as far down the bench as I could.

Buzz. No 57.

Me.

I walked up to the grilled counter and presented my ticket stub to the man behind the grill. I poked the grill, it was metal. Good. Maybe it would scramble my brainwaves and stop them from getting to me.

Papers please. The man looked at me. I looked at him. Was he the same man as when I'd come in? I didn't think he was.

What happened to the other man?

I've been here all day. Paperwork please? He tapped the tray where the papers went. Reluctantly I slid mine under. He looked at them quizzically. These have already been stamped.

Impossible. I pointed to the box with my device in it. This has only just been completed.

I don't think so. He pushed the paperwork back. I picked it up. There was a date stamp, from 9am this morning. I looked at my watch: it was 3.17pm.

The man looked at me with a move along expression.

I tapped on the box. Then someone has stolen my work, my device. Whoever registered this patent has stolen my idea!

I hardly think so.

No? I took the lid off and showed him the black cube-shaped device. One press of this button and--

Please sir, no, not again--

I pressed the button.

~

I was sitting in the patent office, holding my number in my hand. Number 67. The buzzer read number 56, I would be seen soon. I held my device tightly in my hand. I was very hungry. Suddenly I was worried I had forgotten the patent paperwork, so I pulled it from my pocket so I could check. My gaze caught the first line of the application form. Nature of Invention: Erasure of short term memory.

That was strange, the papers had been stamped already. How could that be? I would take it up with the man at the counter. As I put the patent papers way, a dozen tickets fell from my pocket. No 6, No 17, No 28, No 39, No 44, No 57. How had they got there?

A young man came and sat near me. He was wearing big glasses. Who wore glasses that big? Unless they were to record me.

I moved and waited to be called, my little miracle in my lap.

Professor D'arby Swanson is a member of faculty at Oxbridge University, concerned with the study of very peculiar particles. He is currently on sabbatical from reality and engaged in more exotic personal projects of invention.

Sean Kavanagh works in commercials and TV, as well as being a prolific writer of his favourite form of fiction: the short story. He has published three anthologies on Kindle, as well as having stories published on 365 Tomorrows and in the 81Word fiction anthology. You can see more about him on his blog: http://seankavanaghauthor.blogspot.co.uk/

RECONSTRUCTING VISUAL MEMORIES FROM BRAIN ACTIVITY USING FMRI

An essay by Dr. Bertram Vu, as provided by Michael Goldstein

Art by Dawn Vogel

Abstract

Data recorded in the visual cortices using fMRI technology can provide reconstructed visual images and video to within 95% similarity to what the subject actually witnessed. Even after an appropriate delay between witnessing the event and performing the brain scan, the images were able to be reconstructed with greater than 95% accuracy. This experiment provides a way to extract information from prisoners and enemies without the need for interrogation or torture techniques.

~

Introduction

Accurately reconstructing what a subject has witnessed is a difficult task. For centuries, extracting information has relied on clever interrogation, pharmaceuticals, and brute force, or--in extreme cases--a combination of all three. Recently, human intelligence (hereafter, HUMINT) has relied on progressively gentler techniques. This is known as the catching more flies with honey than vinegar method. Despite an improvement in both the quantity and quality of information, its efficacy is still limited by human stubbornness and the natural uncertainty regarding witness testimony.

Despite the leaps forward in scientific progress in the last century, there is still a large gap between HUMINT techniques and available technology. In this paper, I present a new method for extracting information from subjects that eliminates the difficulties associated with subject willingness and the uncertainty of witness testimony.

Modeling dynamic brain activity is difficult, particularly when noninvasive methods are required or preferred. Currently, the best tool for noninvasive imaging is functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (hereafter, fMRI), which measures brain activity in real time by recording changes in blood flow. Blood flow in the brain is directly connected to neuronal activation, meaning that recording the hemodynamic changes within the brain gives direct insight into the areas of the brain in use.

This experiment