My Hostage My Love

By Derekica Snake

The Devil is dead...or is he The World rejoiced when the word spread like wildfire that 'The Devil' had finally been vanquished. Little did they know that sometimes it better to deal with the Devil himself than his Advocate. The World quickly learned that the only currency the Advocate wallowed in was red - the color of vengeance. In the end it was true, the 'Devil' was dead. An innocent man wore the face of someone who wandered the darker underbelly of life and made the shadows cringe. Trevor was a good Catholic boy who shared groceries with his elderly neighbors; walked their pets; worked an honest job and tried to write the next great novel as he made his way in the world. The problem now was that dark world found out that Trevor was still alive. Would the Devil's Advocate be enough to protect the innocent or would Erik use this chance to revive the Devil of his dreams

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 31, 2011
• ISBN: 9781257302352

Book preview

me

Prologue: Under the Gavel

They killed me with a red stamp to the plain manila file folder that held the summary of my life. It read criminally insane or unable to stand trial because of mental defect. I flinched as the judge’s gavel hammered down on the rich mahogany stained desk.

It is the decision of this court that the prisoner Trevor Howell will be remanded into a State Psychiatric Hospital pending further evaluation no sooner than ten years from this date. Until the State is assured that Mr. Howell is not a threat to the State or himself he will be kept in isolation from the other patients and shall be barred any visitors until the court deems it appropriate Thinking back I wonder why no one, not even myself or my court appointed attorney questioned the order for seclusion, but then too late I realized that it was part of the plan to separate me from the rest of the world and sink me into obscurity, out of sight out of mind I guess."

All rise.

The bailiffs hauled me to my feet. I just stood there like an idiot because I was too stunned to think that this could have happened. This should never have happened. I was the victim here. Why was I being punished for surviving? The judge and my hopes for an end to this charade disappeared from the court room.

This was an innocent person’s worst nightmare. Number one, I was innocent. Number two, I was innocent. Number three, I was innocent and I was raped repeatedly by those bank robbers who took me hostage. Or rather by that one bank robber who took me hostage. The police had my statement. The hospital confirmed what happened. I was a victim of sexual assault. So, how could I be found guilty of a crime I didn’t commit? Or I guess it was not guilty by reason of mental defect. They didn’t believe a man could get raped?

The court room broke into a flurry of activity. The flash of cameras both digital and old school heated up the back of my neck. I wasn’t going to turn around for a photo op. Out of everyone packed into the room, not a single one of them had come to offer me unwavering support; I was just a fifteen minute news sensation of the day.

Not one of my friends had come to my trial. I was an orphan since infancy, but the friends I had made at college and from the bank didn’t bother to show. After the police found me, I had flowers, cards and visitors coming on an hourly basis to my hospital room. Then the news reported that I was the alleged inside man on the bank robbery the tabloids had called The Golden Goose. At the time I thought it was an original name, The Grand National Bank had been robbed of 10 million in gold bouillon so I guess that was the best the tabloids could come up with. The next thing I knew is that all my visitors and well wishers died off just was quickly as my grocery store bouquets. Then I had an armed guard outside my door, for my own protection they claimed. My life took a downward spiral from there. When I got out of the hospital I was arrested.

Ever since that day, almost six months ago, my life became a never ending nightmare that was centered all around HIM.

After thinking about it every day and night for the last six months it seemed to me as if the millions taken that day were just a decoy. I didn’t tell the court appointed psychiatrist my suspicions but I think that I was the target. I don’t have any proof other than my ravaged ass; but, when HE looked at me it was a look of possession. From the moment I had been taken hostage, HE was all over me.

I shuddered as my arms were cuffed behind my back. Touching me really wasn’t a good thing anymore. I used to be a gregarious sort of guy before the kidnapping but, I noticed in the hospital and since that I’m like one of those little dogs carried in the crook of someone’s arm right now. I shake at every sudden movement and skitter away from glancing touches. The guards in jail didn’t like that. I was never the one to be the life of the party but I wasn’t the guy hiding behind the rhododendron either...well I wasn’t before. I was messed up more than just physically. During the course of the robbery if HE noticed me, HE fucked me. It was brutal, mind searing, something to be avoided at all cost and he got away with it. Now he was out there somewhere and knew where I was so I became a ghost, transparent and utterly forgettable except for the public notoriety of my trial.

Even before the sentencing my public defender had already packed up his trial briefs. Before the judge’s robes had swirled out of the back door he was headed for the door of the courtroom. In a hurry I thought, to misrepresent another poor bastard. The two bailiffs escorted me out of the court room in a bum’s rush shuffle. I got passed off to two guys in white hospital scrubs and pulled down dark, narrow corridors. Getting rushed along with your hands cuffed behind your back throws off your balance. I kept slamming into an orderly’s shoulder then shuddering away only to get my upper arm clamped tighter which resulted in me slamming back into the other orderly. I would shudder and whimper and annoy the bastards over and over as I was basically dragged down the hallway out into the bright light of day.

I should have known something was wrong when I wasn’t blinded by the cameras that had been hounding me since I was branded the mastermind of the Golden Goose bank heist. The name almost made me laugh aloud since I couldn’t even play the game Mastermind very well. I never had the ambition to be the leader of anything. I was just a worker bee and I didn’t mind it as long as it got the necessities of life covered so I could work on my book, the book I just knew would be proclaimed the great American novel one day.

A white van’s side door opened as we approached, I noticed there was no name on the side. I had a moment’s intuition that this didn’t seem right. I balked. A bee stung me in the back of the neck and I staggered forward. What the hell? Movement was restricted by my shackles so I was reduced to scrunching up my shoulders to the back of my head to try to sooth the sting. What ever I got stung with was quickly burning in my blood. It hit my brain and my ears began to ring in a soothing new age aromatherapy kind of vibe to the accompaniment of a tidal wave of helpless, weakness, darkness began to swamp me. I hit the side of the van and began to slump to my knees.

What....what did they do to me?

I felt a hand under my chin and my face was tilted up. I blinked. The features of whoever was holding my face were blurred and fuzzy. I blinked again. My eyes couldn’t focus. A thumb stroked over my bottom lip, push in, running over the front of my bottom teeth. My eyes couldn’t see but my body remembered that touch. My heart froze in the middle of that medically enhanced fire that was now ripping through my bloodstream. I broke out into a cold sweat. I tried to pull my head back but my body was failing me.

No... My words sounded slurred to my own ears.

And the verdict?

That voice.

Psychiatric Hospital with a review in 10 years.

I wanted 20 to life.

Oh God, not that voice.

I’m just the delivery boy.

I was panicked. What were they saying? I couldn’t get my legs under me. I had to get away...I just had to. My body had other commands to follow. I slumped forward ending up propped against the side of the white van and the man’s overly warm thigh. His hand dug into the back of my hair and he pinned me against his leg.

...no...

The side of his index finger began to stroke that sensitive patch of skin just behind my ear.

Hush, Trevor.

I saw a flash of something out of the corner of my eye and the orderly caught it. Get it changed to what I ordered. That was the negotiated deal. I don’t care how it gets done but if I have to come back for half my payment, no one is going to be happy. Trust me on this; you want to keep me happy.

Yes, Sir. I’ll relay the message. The orderly walked away leaving me with...HIM.

My kidnapper.

My rapist.

My Master.

Lesson One: The Master

Awareness slowly steeped back into me like a tea bag resting in a glass teapot absorbs water. My body picked up slight changes in the air around me as a slight breeze wafted the scent of mandarin orange and white jasmine into my nostrils. It reminded me of the trip I had won to a tropical island through a charity raffle two years ago, in another life it seems now.

I’d met a Russian bombshell there—Olga. She spoke better English than I did but when she wanted to get physical she would let that hint of an accent seduce me. When she did that she rocked my world. I think she realigned my axis. Everyone at work seemed disappointed that when I came back I was just as pale as I was when I left. You don’t get too much sun when you’re doing the horizontal bop for seven nights and six days in your own private tacky tiki hut. It was an amazing week. Later I wondered why that beautiful girl paid any attention to me, an ordinary working stiff, it was a puzzle…

But that was then. This is now…and the now… I frowned and slowly opened my eyes…

It felt like my lashes were glued together like I had been crying before I fell asleep and I could feel the crusty dried tear tracks on my cheeks. It confirmed that I had been crying, but why? Through slit eyes I could see it was day. The canopy above me was swathed in white sheers. I was naked and the breeze left me feeling a little cool. I moved to get under the white duvet at my feet but was pulled up short by a tightening at my throat. I lifted my hands and felt the weight of …metal cuffs?

They were slightly loose not affecting the movement of my wrists. I twisted the bands around but didn’t find a seam or lock on them. How the hell had they been put on me? My fingers touched the same smooth metal at my throat. Puzzled, I tried to sit up but the collar pulled me backwards and I felt a rattle of chain more than heard it. I reached back and traced the links of chain extending from the collar to the headboard. Unlike the cuffs on my wrists, the collar around my neck was leather and I could feel a lock hanging off the back just below the ring that the chain was attached to. I couldn’t sit upright if I wanted to. My stomach clenched as surge of panic ripped through me. I kicked my left leg and felt a weight on it as well. Moving my other leg I became aware that both ankles were chained and encircled with the same sort of metal cuffs that my neck and wrists were.

Where the hell was I?

There was the soft sound of movement and footsteps in another room just beyond the one I was in. I was debating on calling out or not when the door to my room opened and HE stepped in carrying a tray. I froze. HE set the tray down and flipped some towels off his shoulder onto a narrow table close to the door. Instinctively, I tried to move away and brought myself up short on the choke chain. I wanted away from him bad enough that I ended up slightly strangling myself.

HE turned his head toward me with a mocking smile then approached in that stalking way of walking he had that I had so quickly come to dread. The last time I saw him I’d learned that when HE walked toward me with a purpose, it never bode well for me. HE opened the sheer curtains and turned to stare down at me, licking my nude body with his eyes. Those odd blue-green eyes glittered, taking in my body with a look of possession that made me shudder with dread and hate HIM.

I stared back at him grateful that I was in control enough that I wasn’t hyperventilating as my heart beat sped up. I don’t know what look HE saw on my face but I sure as hell knew it wasn’t a welcoming one.

I told you I would come back for you, Trevor. In this day and age, the price of a man’s word is as fleeting as the text message on a cell phone, but you have chiseled your name on my heart, my treasure. Just like a date on a tombstone, you are there forever. I will always keep my word to you.

Erik.

HIS name was Erik.

HE fucked me over physically. I healed from that. HE fucked me over mentally. I thought I had recovered. Obviously not since seeing him again made me tremble and want to vomit.

HE forward kneeling on the bed. He was an imposing man. He wasn’t that bigger than me but that’s like saying a Porsche is the same as a K-car. A car is a car but quality and performance are a vastly different. He was fucking scary. Especially when he was perched over me and I was chained down under him. The chain at my throat jingled as the weight of him tilted the mattress and me towards him. My heart was beating so hard it felt as if it was going to burst from my chest, my ears were filled with the sound of my blood rushing in my head with a roar.

My body was hot with a rush of blood just under the skin and at the same time I was drenched in a cold sweat. I was frozen like a rabbit before a jackal until his fingers brushed down my shin. It was like electricity ripped through my body. I jerked my legs back and twisted away only to be brought up short by my neck chain again. I had managed to twist myself around to face the headboard but that was all I could do unless I wanted to strangle myself.

Sssshhhh, sssshhh, sssssshhhh. Easy now, my Treasure. It won’t be like before... HIS voice crooned over me.

Treasure? He was mocking my name. In my mind I screamed, I’m Trevor damn it! Not your Treasure.

I might have been raging and resisting in my mind but in the physical world I just laid there bathed in my own sweat trembling in trepidation.

Don’t struggle. You’ll only hurt yourself. That’s my good boy. HE spoke like he was trying to calm down a beaten puppy that he wanted to take home.

HE kept creeping forward, edging toward me until his hand curled around my leg just above my ankle. I turned and frantically tried to jerk my foot from his hot hand. But I couldn’t shake myself free. He leaned closer to me and I punched out and caught him high in on the shoulder. The bastard just laughed and shook off my attempt to hurt him.

My tormentor really wasn’t that much bigger than me. Maybe an inch or two over my own 5’11" but that was where the similarities ended. HE was lean but muscular, whipcord lean, that was him. When HE first grabbed me, I was pale and overweight. I thought I carried the extra pounds well and I never had any trouble getting dates but HE was not impressed. Aside from sexual torment, I was made to run on a treadmill, use weight machines and eat scientifically prepared meals. When I finally got to look in a mirror I didn’t know who was staring back at me. I don’t remember ever being thin much less fit.

HE stood behind me with that damned indulgent smile on his face. I was just as pale but with HIS hands on my body, I was almost the palest shade of white. My red hair had grown long and wild in my captivity. There was a natural wave that I hated and because of it I kept it short. If it wasn’t for the ugly scar on my head, I might have had a brush cut, as it was, I had kept it only long enough to hide that jagged roughness from prying eyes. He now had my hair cut in a shag style that somehow suited my newly defined cheekbones and jaw line. Having my hair almost hanging in my eyes brought out of the green of my eyes.

I never thought I was anything but the typical redhead who freckled when kissed by the sun but standing there staring back from the mirror was somebody else. The pale of my flesh only highlighted the numerous scars on my body. Most were probably childhood incidents but there was a round puckered scar in my side that couldn’t be anything else than a bullet wound and there were long straight scars that was knife wounds. I didn’t know where I had gotten them. The Doctors had said that my head injury probably blocked the bad memories and that the scars were old.

HE hadn’t done it. The orphanage where I had grown up was in a gang controlled territory so for all I knew, I was just an innocent bystander. The sad thing was, I still had the damned shag.

God, Trevor. It’s been so long... I had tried to forget how his body seemed to curl around me every chance he got. HE began touching me in front of that mirror. Every muscle on HIS body was defined. HE had an eight pack. His body rippled with power. I was soft. He was a tiger. I was a bunny. A bunny doesn’t bench press a carnivore. It didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try.

While I continued to struggle he tightened his grip on my ankle in warning. I could feel his solid strength in his hand and fingers. Where his skin touched me it burned hot. It wasn’t a normal heat, or maybe it was just me, because I felt so chilled in his presence. He seemed like a portable furnace; no, more like his own nuclear generator. His heat was so seductive to my cold body that I had to fight the strange attraction I tried to deny that I felt.

His other hand came up and the back of his too warm knuckles stroked down the side of my cheek. I shuddered at his touch. I could only stare at him as if I was a little garden snake and he was the experienced Cobra handler. I was mesmerized with fear. His thumb touched the corner of my mouth then swept sideways across my dried and cracked lower lip. I wanted to pull away but I didn’t dare.

There’s my treasure, he crooned in a hypnotic way.

His hair was golden blonde and hung straight in an obviously expensive cut around his ears. The individual strands glittered as if gold dust had been artfully sprinkled there. His hair color seemed to make his tanned skin a golden hue also, which in turn made those odd colored eyes gleam. I could only stare up at him. He was a beautiful man. A beautiful man who was so capable of being terrifying.

That’s my good boy. His voice whispered softly, seductively as he used his thumb to pry my mouth open.

He touched my tongue, stroking it with his thumb. A spike, of fear ripped through me at the intimacy of that gesture. He was a beautiful man who kidnapped me and raped me until dumping me in a torn and bloody heap at the doors of an emergency room. I couldn’t let him do that to me again. Never!

I lunged up to punch him in the side of the head. Only to be brought up short by my neck chain again. My skull rattled as he lurched forward, his shoulder catching me hard just below my throat as my head bounced off the headboard. I ended up pinned under him with his body covering me from sternum to ankle. Everywhere his body touched mine, he was burning hot even through his clothing. I flailed with my arms trying to shove him off me but my chain and restrained movement kept him safe and me furious, frustrated and afraid. He reached for a cuffed wrist and slammed it to the headboard where it stuck. He reached down and forced my leg wide then his upper thigh slammed into my groin. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to curl into a ball. My brain was screaming No!

Straining against the chain of the collar and my pinned arm I maneuvered my free wrist and I grabbed a handful of golden hair and jerked hard sideways trying to force him off me. I got a forearm hard across my throat and my head bounced back again. The world darkened slightly around the edges. At that moment I wanted the world to darken for me permanently.

Don’t resist me, Trevor!

HE was going to cause me a world of pain again. I started sobbing as I continued to frantically struggle to pull him off of me. I had no plan other than to get his hot body off mine. HE caught my wrist, twisting hard to make me let go of his hair. Then pressed his body hard into mine smashing his hard, swollen cock up against my terror shriveled cock and balls. I grunted at the pain and froze in my struggle for a brief second.

HE took advantage of the moment. HE grabbed my pinned arm, yanked it off the headboard caught my other flailing arm and slammed my wrist cuffs together. They stuck as if wielded together. He took my bound wrists and rammed them hard up against the headboard. They stuck. My wrists were now locked up above my head as if they were glued there.

His body was still heavy on mine and he didn’t hesitate to press his advantage, leaning forward to lick my cheek.

I freaked.

HE sat up on my midsection for more control and waited for me to wear myself out. It didn’t take long. I was bathed in cold sweat and I trembled close to exhaustion. Tears stung my eyes. I didn’t care if men weren’t supposed to cry. I knew what was waiting for me at the hands of this man. He did it before. I was helpless then. I was helpless now. HE captured my chin with one hand and glared into my eyes. His hair was in disarray with a strand falling forward over one aquamarine eye. Dividing it vertically, the lock of hair looking like a blonde, elongated, reptilian pupil– like a demon eye, like the eye of the Devil. It terrified me and I struggled harder to get away. He dug his fingers into my jaw until I stopped resisting my eyes I tensed my muscles trying to pull my arms down from the he. Each labored breath was close to a whining sob.

Sssssh, Trevor. He bent forward and pressed his forehead against mine. I could feel his warm breath skirting along my skin, dancing over my lips. I tensed tighter than a rusted lug nut.

There’s no use fighting me; I won’t let you win. You learned that the first go around. Treasure, you really don’t want to start back at square one. Do you? I won’t be as kind if we have to start all over again.

I was breathing fast. I was breathing shallow. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I tensed as HIS other hand pressed over my heart.

So fast. Too fast. You need to relax... His grip loosened on my jaw. I felt a kiss on my temple. I shook my head in protest.

My arm muscles were screaming in agony as I continued futilely to try to pull them free of the headboard.

No...please...don’t...

Look at me, Trevor. I turned my head into my bicep in denial.

Fingers pinched the softer underside of my arm until I turned back to face him with a cry of pain. Tears blurred my vision as I opened my eyes. Those blue green eyes were a mere eyelash away.

Must we start all over again? He sounded exasperated, as if he was growing angry.

This time when my head bounced off the headboard I was the culprit. I couldn’t free my arms and I couldn’t push myself through the headboard to escape that relentless closeness. It didn’t mean that I didn’t try.

I stilled as the pad of one finger swept along under my right eye lash pushing the gathering moisture away. HE brought it up to his mouth and slowly sucked it inside. His eyes began to darken as he began to slowly pump his finger in and out of his mouth. My eyes were drawn to the deliberately sensual display. The way the soft pinkish skin of his generous lips would push inside his mouth as his finger slipped deeper. The deeper red tone of the inner flesh of his moist mouth that clung to the retreating digit. I watched in fascination and felt an answering surge in my groin at the sensual display.

What the fuck was wrong with me? I snapped my eyes up to his then skittered my attention off to the gauzy curtains billowing inward with the breeze. HE had seen me watching. I saw that smile. The smile that he would give me that first hellish time when I had done something he liked.

HIS voice was softer now as he sat back and settled his weight more onto his knees. They caressed either side of my waist. I told you before I let you go that you belonged to me. Did you forget that, Trevor? You’re alone in this world. You have been alone for a long, long time. If I had known that you were out there struggling so hard to survive, I would have come for you sooner. Now, that’s better. Sssssh, sssh, ssssh.

Don’t hurt me anymore. Inwardly I cringed at the weakness in my voice, at the begging tone.

His hot hand settled over my chest, settled right over my frantically beating heart. Then obey me, Trevor. Now, how are you supposed to address me?

I had to swallow hard. Erik.

I flinched as his hand came up and stroked the back of his fingers up and down my cheek again then moved to begin playing with my lower lip. I didn’t want to remember that he loved my mouth. That he made me do so many lewd things with my mouth when he held me as his bank hostage the last time.

That’s good. You remembered how to address me in private. Now, how do you address me in the presence of others? Trevor. He arched a brow in silent warning.

I pissed myself.

The blonde head looked down at me as the heat of my loss of control spread between us. Total humiliation wracked me. I began to cry.

This can’t be happening again. This shouldn’t have happened in the first place. I didn’t try to cover my sobs. I was too fatigued to try anything. Physically, mentally and spiritually all my tanks were empty.

Ssshhh, my sweet Treasure. This was just an accident. This isn’t your fault. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

I couldn’t do anything with my hands locked above my head and with his weight pinning me down. I couldn’t do anything but lay in my own piss and cry. HE began to stroke my hair and he pulled my head toward him until he could cradle me awkwardly. My hands were still attached to the headboard and HE was trying to pull me the other way. The stress on my shoulders was killing me.

HE pressed his face along mine. His lips gently moved against the curl of my ear. Apparently I was too harsh on you when you first came into my care. Listen and obey and you will never have to fear me. There is so much more I want from you.

HE climbed up off me and straddled the mattress on either side of my hips. I held in a sob of relief at finally having his weight off of me. I had my eyes closed but I could feel the sweep of his gaze over my body.

Antoine! HIS voice was loud and I cringed at the bark of it.

The door to the bedroom opened again. Run a warm bath for my Treasure then change the bedding. HIS tone was softer again.

Yes, Sir.

My arms were weak and quivering now from all the force I had put into trying to break free. HE reached up and easily pulled my arms down from the headboard. I guessed there was a trick to it that he would never tell me. The cuffs were still bonded together and he used them to haul me up off the soiled mattress. You’ve lost weight, Trevor but you’ve lost muscle tone. I thought jail would have made you a little sleeker, not so thin and gaunt looking.

Sullenly I said, I wasn’t in jail; I was in a mental hospital... My voice trailed off as he looked back at me in warning.

I gave you an exercise schedule to follow...It seems that we will have to start from scratch. I take it that is what you want to do. Start from the beginning again. I leave you alone for a while and now I find you defiant. Lippy. You ignored my dictates even after I got you released into a doctor’s care instead of being in jail. That is something that will not be tolerated. Come. He dragged me after him. Now that I was upright, I found out just how was dizzy and weak I was. I staggered sideways and stumbled into him then began to fall. I found myself held up in his arms.

You are as weak as a kitten, my Love. Let that be a lesson to listen to me from now on. My stomach lurched as he bent