Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017
()
About this ebook
Phantom limb surgery, dimensional windows, and sentient androids. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.
Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collects thirteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Rhonda Eikamp, Darrell Z. Grizzle, and Joachim Heijndermans. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, gossip column, and other brief messages from mad scientists.
Authors featured in this volume also include Isaac Teile, H. E. Bergeron, S. Qiouyu Lu, Candida Spillard, Steve Toase, E. R. Zhang, Kaitlin Moore, Maureen Bowden, Wesley O. Cohen, Megan Dorei, Allison Spector, Sam Jowett, Domenic diCiacca, Melanie Atherton Allen, Andy Brown, Darci Vogel, Dawn Vogel, Dylan Vogel, Lucinda Gunnin, and Sean Frost. Art by Amanda Jones, Shannon Legler, Luke Spooner, Ariel Alian Wilson, Errow Collins, Scarlett O'Hairdye, and Justine McGreevy.
Related to Mad Scientist Journal
Titles in the series (32)
Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2014 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Summer 2012 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2012 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2012 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Winter 2013 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2013 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2013 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Summer 2013 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2018 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2016 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2017 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2017 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Winter 2018 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Summer 2018 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Winter 2015 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Winter 2019 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2019 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Summer 2019 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Winter 2020 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Summer 2014 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2019 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2014 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2015 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2014 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Summer 2015 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2016 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Winter 2016 Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Related ebooks
Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2013 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2017 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2014 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeasts Before Us: The Untold Story of Mammal Origins and Evolution Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Grey Aliens and the Harvesting of Souls: The Conspiracy to Genetically Tamper with Humanity Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2015 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPhreak Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMad Scientist Journal: Spring 2014 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBrain Cuttings: Fifteen Journeys Through the Mind Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2018 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStories of the Strange Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Blade of Darkness Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Cryptid Beast of the Dark Forest Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDoctor October: Master of Scientific Sorcery in Rogues & Ruins Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHaunted Stevenage Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Lands of Inchoate 3: The Planet Within Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInfinity in the Palm of Your Hand: Fifty Wonders That Reveal an Extraordinary Universe Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Infernal Geometry and the Left-Hand Path: The Magical System of the Nine Angles Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Science of the Magical: From the Holy Grail to Love Potions to Superpowers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Re-Origin of Species: a second chance for extinct animals Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5On a Scale from Idiot to Complete Jerk Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLife Changing: SHORTLISTED FOR THE WAINWRIGHT PRIZE FOR WRITING ON GLOBAL CONSERVATION Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Greys' Secret Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrey Aliens and Artificial Intelligence: The Battle between Natural and Synthetic Beings for the Human Soul Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Nature Magpie: A Cornucopia of Facts, Anecdotes, Folklore and Literature from the Natural World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeyond the Secret Elephants: Of Mysterious Relict Hominoids and Elusive Legendary Elephants Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHumanity, a Failed Experiment Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThat Ain't Right: Historical Accounts of the Miskatonic Valley Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOuroboros Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Anthologies For You
Think And Grow Rich Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5100 Great Short Stories: Selections from Poe, London, Twain, Melville, Kipling, Dickens, Joyce and many more Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Celtic Tales: Fairy Tales and Stories of Enchantment from Ireland, Scotland, Brittany, and Wales Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anonymous Sex Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Galaxy's Isaac Asimov Collection Volume 1: A Compilation from Galaxy Science Fiction Issues Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Spanish Stories/Cuentos Espanoles: A Dual-Language Book Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5First Spanish Reader: A Beginner's Dual-Language Book Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Collection Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Kink: Stories Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Stories on the Go - 101 very short stories by 101 authors Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5100 Years of the Best American Short Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best Horror of the Year Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Harvard Classics Volume 1: Franklin, Woolman, Penn Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Twilight Zone: 19 Original Stories on the 50th Anniversary Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Kama Sutra (Golden Deer Classics) Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Annotated Pride and Prejudice: A Revised and Expanded Edition Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5In Search Of Lost Time (All 7 Volumes) (ShandonPress) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Creepypasta Collection: Modern Urban Legends You Can't Unread Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mark Twain: Complete Works Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Take Us to a Better Place: Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Humorous American Short Stories: Selections from Mark Twain, O. Henry, James Thurber, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. and more Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Weiser Book of Horror and the Occult: Hidden Magic, Occult Truths, and the Stories That Started It All Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cleaning the Gold: A Jack Reacher and Will Trent Short Story Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (ReadOn Classics) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5FaceOff Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Canterbury Tales, the New Translation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stories from Suffragette City Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Reviews for Mad Scientist Journal
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Mad Scientist Journal - DefCon One Publishing
Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017
Edited by Dawn Vogel and Jeremy Zimmerman
Cover Art and Layout by Amanda Jones
Copyright 2017 Jeremy Zimmerman, except where noted
Smashwords Edition
www.madscientistjournal.org
www.patreon.com/madscientistjournal
Letter from the Guest Editor
is Copyright 2017 Galadriel Sterling
From Matchsticks to Flamethrowers: On the Evolution of Dragons
is Copyright 2017 Isaac Teile
A Brief History of the Human Colonization of Mars
is Copyright 2017 H. E. Bergeron
Introduction to the Journal of Interplanetary Lycan Studies, Volume 1, Issue 1
is Copyright 2017 S. Qiouyi Lu
"The Curious Fate of the Merchantman Lady Margaret" is Copyright 2017 Candida Spillard
Der Heilige Antonius von Padua Klinik von Geisterbefestigung
is Copyright 2017 Steve Toase
5 Ways to Prevent Dimensional Pests
is Copyright 2017 E. R. Zhang
The Window Cleaner
is Copyright 2017 Kaitlin Moore
Snap and Crackle
is Copyright 2017 Maureen Bowden
I, Angelica
is Copyright 2017 Wesley O. Cohen
My Fragile Butterfly
is Copyright 2017 Megan Dorei
The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day
is Copyright 2017 Allison Spector
"The Origins of Chem-Art: A Look into the Manifestation of Final Blush of the Republic" is Copyright 2017 Sam Jowett
Horace McClarm's Invention
is Copyright 2017 Domenic diCiacca
Strange Attractor
is Copyright 2017 Rhonda Eikamp
The Lazaretto Ghost
is Copyright 2017 Darrell Z. Grizzle
The End of All of Time, Reality, the Infinite and the Unimagined
is Copyright 2017 Joachim Heijndermans
Scenes Around the Lab
is Copyright 2017 Lucinda Gunnin
You 'Oort' to Know
is Copyright 2017 Sean Frost
A Special Message from our Brave and Much-Put-Upon Post Office (BAMPUPO),
Mr. Giles Gilded,
Doohickeys, Thingummies, and I-Don't-Know-Whats,
Blueprints,
For Immediate Sale,
Found (evidence),
Lost (Columbine),
Lost (lab assistant),
and Madame Crepusky
are Copyright 2017 Melanie Atherton Allen
Plot and Sips
and House for Sale
are Copyright 2017 Dawn Vogel
Wilbur's Wonderful Weather Machines,
Gervaise's Ghost Wranglers,
and Simon's Surplus Sapiens
are Copyright 2017 Andy Brown
For Sale,
Help Wanted,
and Services Offered
are Copyright 2017 Darci Vogel
Kittens Looking for a Good Home
is Copyright 2017 Dawn & Dylan Vogel
Art accompanying From Matchsticks to Flamethrowers: On the Evolution of Dragons,
Der Heilige Antonius von Padua Klinik von Geisterbefestigung,
and My Fragile Butterfly
are Copyright 2017 Shannon Legler
Art accompanying A Brief History of the Human Colonization of Mars,
The Curious Fate of the Merchantman Lady Margaret,
I, Angelica,
and The Origins of Chem-Art: A Look into the Manifestation of Final Blush of the Republic
are Copyright 2017 Luke Spooner
Art accompanying Introduction to the Journal of Interplanetary Lycan Studies, Volume 1, Issue 1
and Horace McClarm's Invention
are Copyright 2017 Amanda Jones
Art accompanying 5 Ways to Prevent Dimensional Pests
is Copyright 2017 Ariel Alian Wilson
Art accompanying The Window Cleaner
is Copyright 2017 Errow Collins
Art accompanying Snap and Crackle
is Copyright 2017 Scarlett O'Hairdye
Art accompanying The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day
is Copyright 2017 Justine McGreevy
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of these authors.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Many thanks to Patreon backers Simone Cooper, Andrew Cherry, John Nienart, Torrey Podmajersky, Darrell Grizzle, and Michele Ray!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Letter from the Guest Editor
ESSAYS
"From Matchsticks to Flamethrowers: On the Evolution of Dragons" provided by Isaac Teile
"A Brief History of the Human Colonization of Mars" provided by H. E. Bergeron
"Introduction to the Journal of Interplanetary Lycan Studies, Volume 1, Issue 1" provided by S. Qiouyi Lu
"The Curious Fate of the Merchantman Lady Margaret" provided by Candida Spillard
"Der Heilige Antonius von Padua Klinik von Geisterbefestigung" provided by Steve Toase
"5 Ways to Prevent Dimensional Pests" provided by E. R. Zhang
"The Window Cleaner" provided by Kaitlin Moore
"Snap and Crackle" provided by Maureen Bowden
"I, Angelica" provided by Wesley O. Cohen
"My Fragile Butterfly" provided by Megan Dorei
"The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day" provided by Allison Spector
"The Origins of Chem-Art: A Look into the Manifestation of Final Blush of the Republic" provided by Sam Jowett
"Horace McClarm's Invention" provided by Domenic diCiacca
FICTION
"Strange Attractor" provided by Rhonda Eikamp
"The Lazaretto Ghost" provided by Darrell Z. Grizzle
"The End of All of Time, Reality, the Infinite and the Unimagined" by Joachim Heijndermans
RESOURCES
"Scenes Around the Lab" provided by Lucinda Gunnin
"You 'Oort' to Know" provided by Sean Frost
Classifieds
ABOUT
Bios for Classifieds Authors
About the Editors
About the Artists
LETTER FROM THE GUEST EDITOR
by Dr. Elica Nocte, PhD, MD,
as provided by Galadriel Sterling
Greetings Dear Readers,
I believe you’ve been as productive as possible while I was away. As I was journeying back home after an absolutely productive vacation, I was reminded of the human inefficiency to work after nightfall. People who had previously been active and working suddenly became exhausted, and drooped in their seats as the airplane cruised along in the atmosphere.
Ah, Dear Readers, what a painful sight. The need for sleep overpowering productivity. However, what if humans were able to combat the need for sleep? If the human race had the ability to work day and night without need for rest, then productivity would increase dramatically and our race would evolve faster.
If, Dear Readers, we lived in the twentieth or nineteenth centuries, it would be logical to demonstrate some worry about whether or not lights and electricity would be powerful enough to work for such a long period of time. However, I am positive that today’s technology is definitely able to withstand such long hours, so scientists don’t have to waste their time wondering how to have human eyes evolve into the like of an owl’s eyes.
According to my research, dolphins are capable of keeping half of their brain awake while the other half rests, which allows the animal to stay at least partially awake. I believe that the best course of action to achieve this skill would be to splice dolphin genes with human genes. This would allow a human being to stay partly awake for an entire day. However Dear Readers, I am still attempting to discover which genes would need to be spliced and how this would have to be done. I encourage all of you to aid me in my research as well and send your findings to me. For the time being, short, five minute naps throughout the day seem like the best way for the human race to increase its productivity.
Dr. Elica Nocte is a scientist renowned for her experiments concerning human and animal efficiency and productivity and has won several awards for her research. She was born on October 12th, 1987, in Bern, Switzerland, and currently resides in Geneva, Switzerland; however, she prefers to spend her time in rural New Zealand where she can perform her experiments without human intervention. Dr. Elica Nocte spends her time conducting research on nocturnal animals, especially on the barn owl, and developing more efficient ways to create and use nuclear energy.
Galadriel Sterling is an eighth grader from the western Chicago suburbs. She specializes in writing short stories and plays, and her hobbies include reading, writing (as you would expect) short stories, and swimming. This is her first time getting published.
ESSAYS
FROM MATCHSTICKS TO FLAMETHROWERS: ON THE EVOLUTION OF DRAGONS
An essay by Edmund Teile, as prepared by his great-grandson, Isaac Teile
Art by Shannon Legler
Abstract: This paper asserts that pinwyrm lizards are closely related to western red and northeastern black dragons despite their contemporary classification as monitors. First, I provide an analysis of comparative behavioral habits between venomous pinwyrms and black dragons (which leads me to discuss how I lost my arm). Second, I provide an analysis of existing literature (which leads me to discuss how I lost my eye). Together, the evidence suggests pinwyrms should be reclassified; in fact, traits of pinwyrms and dragons are similar enough to study the evolution of one through the evolution of the other.
Argument: The venomous pinwyrm of northern Y'reth-al-Nir, Pinwyrmes niri, is the northernmost lizard yet discovered (Memnar the Terrible, 491). Four interns and I received a grant from the High Academy of Wizardry and Liberal Arts to spend six months with northern pinwyrms and six months with a northeastern black dragon colony at the ruins of the Vale. Unfortunately, the interns are dead now, but their research lives on.
Most niri are no more than ten inches long with pale skin that helps them to disappear among the snow drifts. Despite the name, the venomous pinwyrm is actually the least poisonous pinwyrm. It has a genetic abnormality that provides thick skin to protect it from the cold (and its own mucus). However, this skin cannot produce the psychedelic venomous coating of its southern cousins. Rather, the name refers to the hot, acidic mucus that it spits to denature its meals. Memnar the Terrible hypothesized the mucus was acetic acid and quite flammable (491). Field tests confirmed this. The exact quote I recorded was, It burns worse than I've ever been burned.
Perhaps most interesting is that some niri in northernmost Y'reth-al-Nir, beyond the City of the Fallen Spires, beyond the Titan's statue, beyond even the Great Howling Chasm, actually spit on each other to stay warm. Here, it is to the pinwyrm's advantage to produce the warmest saliva it can. Some are radically successful; the only animals past the Great Howling Chasm are pinwyrms. Even we could not fend off the frostbite with traditional spells, and I lost two fingers on my left hand. No matter; the whole arm was devoured by a dragon.
The flash point of acetic acid is no more than the heat of the hottest days in the Nkarai Desert (Iranoth the Younger, 45). If natural selection encourages the animals to produce hotter and hotter saliva, it is possible they would reach a point where the saliva combusts. This may even explain how dragons evolved a digestive system that cannot process raw meat (Gornius Argle, 211). As Gornius Argle notes, the dragon digestive system is an evolutionary chicken-or-the-egg. However, in six months of field work, we did not observe a pinwyrm eat any raw meat; they always denatured it with their saliva. Perhaps the digestive system came first.
The dragons were